An Epic Looney Tune Tail: Part One
by Bobby South
Summary: Join the Looney Tunes, the Tiny Toons, the Animaniacs, the Tazmanian folk and the Loonatics along with other cartoon and live action characters and cameos as they help their three biggest fans defeat evil in this latest live-action/animation story.
1. Why Must All Good Things Come To An End?

Warner Bros. Presents:

'**AN EPIC LOONEY TUNE TAIL: Part One'**

CAST LIST

**Hero Cast**

Live Action Characters

BAFTA TV Award nominee** Matt Smith** (_Doctor Who_, _Party Animals_) as **Eric Epic** the young Sorcerer, the main protagonist.

BAFTA Orange Rising Star Winner** Noel Clarke** (_Doctor Who_, _Kidulthood, Adulthood_) as **Zack O'Marrows** the main deuteragonist.

Twice Teen Choice Award winner** Emma Watson** (_Harry Potter_) as **Diamond** (or **Dia** for short) the Mermaid, the main tritagonist.

Cartoon Characters

_Looney Tunes Characters_

Bugs Bunny

Daffy Duck

Lola Bunny (_Space Jam_ Version)

Porky Pig

Sylvester the Cat

Tweety Pie

Granny

Tasmanian Devil

Elmer Fudd

Yosemite Sam

Foghorn Leghorn

Pepe-Le-Pew

Hector the Bulldog

Marvin the Martian

_Tiny Toon Characters_

Buster Bunny

Babs Bunny

Plucky Duck

Hamton Pig

Shirley the Loon

Fifi La Fume

_Animaniacs_

Yakko Warner

Wakko Warner

Dot Warner

Dr. Otto Scratchansniff

Hello Nurse

Slappy Squirrel

Skippy Squirrel

The Goodfeathers:

Bobby

Squit

Pesto

Rita the Cat

Runt the Dog

Mindy

Buttons

Minerva Mink

_Taz-Mania_

Hugh Devil

Jean Devil

Molly Devil

Jake Devil

Dog the Turtle

Didgeri Dingo

Wendal T. Wolf

Francis X. Bushlad

Mr. Thickly

Constance Koala

Bull Gator and Axl

Daniel and Timothy Platypus

Buddy Boar

The Bushrats

Bob's Mum

_Loonatics Unleashed Characters_

Ace Bunny

Lexi Bunny

Danger Duck

Slam Tasmanian

Tech E. Coyote

Rev Runner

_Other Warner Bros. produced characters_

Freakazoid/Dex Douglas

**Villain Cast**

Live Action Characters

Golden Globe Award winner** Ian McShane** (_Kung Fu Panda_, _Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger's Tide, Deadwood)_ as **Lord Jack Epic**, Jack's adoptive father, the main antagonist.

Five-time Empire Award winner** Ewan McGregor** (_Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Shallow Grave, Trainspotting_) as **Jim Epic**, John's twin brother and Eric's foster brother, a secondary antagonist.

Four-time National Television Award Winner** David Tennant **(_Doctor Who, Blackpool_ and _Casanova_) as **John Epic**, Jim's twin brother and Eric's foster brother, a secondary antagonist.

_Looney Tunes_

Rocky

Mugsy

_Tiny Toons Adventures_

Elmyra Duff

_Animaniacs_

Pinky

The Brain

Thaddus Plotz

Ralph T. Guard

_Taz-Mania_

Bushwhacker Bob

Watch out for more characters and surprising cameos (both from live action and different types of animation).

* * *

><p>RING! Candles lit up and Witch Hazel's library was as bright as the warm fire. The door magically opened and the first customers were Mac and Tosh.<p>

"So what do you think we should read today?" asked Mac.

"I don't know," said Tosh. "Let's look."

So they searched the whole room.

"We appear to have read every book," said Tosh.

"So it seems," agreed Mac. Then he looked up on the desk. "Except _that_ enormous book."

Tosh looked up. "Come on, let's take a look."

They climbed on the chair and on the desk. They reached the really big book.

"_An Epic Looney Tune Tail _by Bobby South," read Tosh.

"Let's read it," said Mac.

"Good idea," said Tosh. He opened the book and they all began to read it…

* * *

><p><em>On a blue sky day with sunshine reflecting on a bright green forest with tall brown trees with green leaves, Elmer Fudd was tip-toeing with his shotgun.<em>

_"Shh!" he told the audience. "Be vewy vewy quiet. It's wabbit hunting season and I'm hewe for the wabbits."_

_Near him was a rabbit hole, where Bugs Bunny shot up, eating his carrot. Elmer held his gun at the rabbit's head. Bugs turned to see him. "Eh, what's up, doc?" he asked._

_"It's wabbit hunting season and I'm hewe for the wabbits!" Elmer told him._

_"Nah, you don't wanna waste those precious bullits on a weak "wabbit" like _moi_," Bugs said. "Let me show you the rabbit that will get you the big prize of the season. Come on."_

_Elmer, scratching his head, had doubts about it, but he followed the "wabbit" anyway._

_Bugs escorted Elmer to a giant hole. "Down there is the prize rabbit you want," Bugs told him. _

_Elmer looked down into the big hole and saw nothing in it. "Thewe's nothing down thewe!" he snapped. Then he got pushed in through the big hole and landed at the bottom of the hole._

_Outside the hole, Bugs dialled his phone. "Hallo," he called on the phone. "I need some loose rocks fillin' in the hole."_

_A van with rocks appeared and filled the whole hole. Elmer's head appeared up out of the pile of rocks. "Oh, wocks!" he moaned, before getting hit on the head by one more 'wock'. Then rocks with wings flew around his head. _

* * *

><p>That was just a screening of the latest Bugs Bunny cartoon in the real world. It was showing up on the coast of Land's End near Cornwall in the dark night sky. No one was watching the cartoon except three ten-year-old children. One was a black-haired boy, dressed in smart brown trousers and a black shirt. The other boy was black and he was wearing blue jeans and a bright green shirt. The girl was a mermaid with a brown tail and she wore a red bikini top. They were laughing their heads off.<p>

Then on the screening, the "That's All Folks!" slogan came on.

"But it's not!" exclaimed the green shirt boy. "Because my best friend Eric is gonna bring the next one, isn't that right, magic buddy?"

"Too right, Zack!" smiled Eric as he clicked his fingers. The screening in the sky vanished like a cloud. "Because I'm only showing a screening of the latest cartoon, not committing piracy."

Zack kissed the mermaid. "There's just something I gotta do before Eric uploads the next cartoon, Diamond. Won't be long." He got up and walked away.

Eric moved closer to Diamond the mermaid and put his arm around her. "So how are things going between you and Zack, Dia?"

"Yeah, great," replied Dia. "I think we're really connecting."

"Oh, good," said Eric. He was smiling a fake smile; because secretly he had a crush on this beautiful young mermaid, but Zack was the only friend he ever had and he didn't want to lose him, so he couldn't say anything.

"But Zack has said a lot about you, Eric," Dia said. "He says that you are wonderful and magical and not from your magic powers, if you know what he means. His exact words."

"Well, I consider myself lucky to have him for my best friend," smiled Eric. "And, don't tell him, but I even think of him as my brother."

"What about your foster brothers?" asked Dia.

"Those elder spoilt double-trouble brats?" Eric laughed. "And I don't think of Lord Jack Epic as my dad. And I mean that in that he is a mean, heartless old man. I feel just like Harry Potter living with the Dursleys. I hope you find better parents really soon too. And that goes for Zack as well."

"What does Jack do for a living?" asked Dia.

"He's the world's most successful businessman on this planet," replied Eric. "He buys businesses – every on this planet – and makes them more successful than ever. But he has one secret ingredient."  
>"What's that?"<p>

"Eric!" shouted Zack's voice. Eric took his arm away from Dia. They both looked up to see Zack running back to the rocks.

"Don't worry, Zack!" said Eric. "Nothing happened – "

"No, but something is," interrupted Zack.

Eric and Dia looked at each other and gulped, preparing themselves for the worst.

"Your brothers have come to pick you up," Zack told them.

Eric moved past Zack and looked upwards. On the higher ground, there were two figures – both looked like fourteen year olds with ginger hair, but one was taller and muscular, while the other one was skinnier and shorter.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of this," said Eric. "Meet here until next time."

"How long does these 'meet here until next time's keep going on?" asked Dia.

"Until that guy runs out of good ideas," replied Zack surely, "which I know he won't because that guy is the best sorcerer I know."

"Because he's the _only_ sorcerer you know," Dia muttered under her breath.

* * *

><p>"Okay, Jim, here's the plan," said one of the brother, as they were walking on the beach. "We find Eric and deliver him to Dad."<p>

"That's because Dad gave us the mission, John," sighed Jim. "Couldn't you come up with a better plan?"

"Hey, who's the brains here?" snapped John.

"All right, genius," Jim sighed again.

They walked on. Then John stopped. "I'm getting a funny feeling in my head."

"I guess being clever isn't very good for you," muttered Jim under his breath.

"You know, I can't believe I share the same birthday with you!" shouted an angry John. "Because, right now, I... have a bumping headache." Then he saw his taller, stronger twin brother laughing at him. "It's not funny!"

"It is funny!" Jim laughed, as he got out a tiny mirror and gave it to his twin brother.

John looked in the mirror and screamed his head off. "My beautiful sexy ginger hair is a bunch of green grass!" And he was right! On his head was a bunch of grass.

"With flowers, too," Jim added.

John looked into the mirror and, to his horror he saw he had red, blue, yellow and purple flowers on top of the grass. He saw Jim just couldn't stop laughing his head off. "Laugh it up, Cheese Nose!" John laughed, giving his brother the mirror.

Now it was Jim's turn to feel shocked as he saw his nose was nothing more than a block of Stinking Bishop between his eyes and his mouth. It had more holes in it than his old nose did.

"Wow! Did you guys get a makeover?" asked Eric as he walked to them. He found it hard not to laugh at this. Then it wasn't hard when he was turned around, looking at a big man. He was tall, had short, black hair and was wearing a suit. He held both Dia and Zack in his hands.

"I bet you didn't see this coming," he chuckled evilly. "Do you know why?"

"Because you're a smart-arse, Jack," Eric muttered.

"Because I'm immune to sorcerers and all magic!" Jack Epic shouted.

Eric lifted his right hand up and then lowered it down, wiggling his fingers. Without looking up, Jack moved backwards to avoid the falling tiny fireballs.

"You see? Mind over magic," smiled Jack.

"Teach your sons that, Jack," muttered Eric.

"And don't call me 'Jack'!" shouted Jack. "Call me either 'Father' or 'Sir'! Now turn your brothers back to normal or I will sell your mer-girlfriend to an aquarium for more money and have your friend sent to a different orphanage – behind bars!"

"You can't! You won't!" shouted an angry Eric.

"Yes, I can!" shouted Jack. "You think I depend on you and your magic, but actually I control you, so don't try fighting me! Now choose: your brothers or your friends!"

Eric sighed as he waved his hand. His brothers were back to normal.

"Wise decision, Eric," smiled Jack, but it was an evil smile.

* * *

><p>Later, a wooden raft was built. On it was a white sail and Dia and Zack were tied to the pole by Jim and John.<p>

"If you try anything at all, magic or not," Jack warned Eric, "you will be hurting your friends even more."  
>Eric said nothing, but glared at him. He lifted his hand up, but...<p>

"No!" shouted Dia. "Don't worry about us, Eric."  
>"Yeah, mate," cried Zack. "We'll get out of this pickle ourselves and then we'll come and rescue you!"<p>

Eric uncomfortably put his hand down, as all he could do was watch what was waiting for his friends.

"Well, good luck!" Jim said, as he and John pushed Zack and Dia out to sea.

"You're going to need it!" added John.

Eric kept his eyes on the two only friends he ever had in his life as long as his eyes would let him. Or rather Jack let him, which only lasted about five seconds.

"Now, as there's nothing left for you here, you will pack your stuff and your brothers' and my stuff tonight ready to leave tomorrow for a new life on a brand new island," Jack told him.

Eric couldn't believe this. He had lived with the Epics for about six months and ten years earlier in a little orphanage, where he had only one friend. Then he could just sneak out of the mansion he was living in to see Zack and his latest friend Dia for only once a week. Now they were gone forever and now he was going away with his new horrible family.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" shouted Jack. "Tonight!"

"Yeah, tonight!" teased John.

Eric clicked his fingers and now his horrible twin brothers each had very long female fingernails on their hands. Eric smiled and stuck his tongue out before he walked away.

That was probably one of the few pleasures he had in his new life, if not _the_ only. He might have been adopted from the richest and most powerful man who owned everything, including all the royal thrones of every kingdom, on this planet, but he still had no future at all. What can he do? And who can help him?


	2. Bugs is Bugged Up!

Near live action Hollywood was an animated city where the Looney Tunes live. It was spring and the sun was out shining all over. The green forest near the city was had the greenest leaves and the grass, the bluest skies and water and the brownest tree trunks.

Bugs Bunny was walking through the woods, though not his usual cheerily self. He was holding a carrot that was rotten. He stopped and turned to the audience.

"Normally, I'd say 'What's up, Doc?'," he told them, "but I'd thought today ya'd ask me that question." He paused for them. "'What's up, Doc?' I'll tell ya what's up, doc. It all began this morning when..."

* * *

><p><em>Bugs arrived at Warner Bros. Studios to film his next cartoon, but when he got there, he discovered that the cartoon was already being shot with Daffy Duck in his place. And when the cartoon was a wrap, the executives were so impressed with Daffy that they decided to give all the scripts Bugs was going to star in to the greedy duck.<em>

_"What?" exclaimed Bugs._

_"Yeah, you've been the biggest star of Looney Tunes for all these years," said the Chief Executive. "We're getting a little bit sick of you and we thought it's time for someone else to be the star." _

_"Finally!" cheered Daffy. "After all these years, I've finally burrowed the rabbit!"_

_"But I have the most fans!" protested Bugs._

_"Then start using them to cool you down!" laughed Daffy, as he happily ran the room, congratulating himself._

_Bugs just left without another word._

* * *

><p><em>Later that day, Bugs was called into a meeting at Acme Looniversity. He was called into the principal's office, where he was met by the Superintendent.<em>

_"What's up, doc?" asked Bugs. _

_"Well, I'll be blunt, like this knife," said the Superintendent, holding a very sharp, shiny knife. "Despite all the progress that's going on in this school, I'm afraid I'm going to have to replace you with someone who can give the students a better education."_

_Bugs left the office and walked to the classroom where he used to teach. He saw his students with the new teacher, who was a live action fat man, through the window._

_"Okay, class," said the teacher. "My name is Ted Schneebly. But you can call me Mr. S if that's easier for you." _

"_He couldn't, by any chance, be the brother of the teacher Ned Schneebly from _The School of Rock?_" asked Plucky Duck._

_"I bet his name is really Huey Finn, the brother of Dewey Finn," thought Buster Bunny._

_"Now, class, it's time we started our new class project," said the teacher. "It's called 'Jazz Band'"._

_Bugs couldn't take it anymore. He left the school for good._

* * *

><p><em>Things went from bad to worse when Bugs decided to drop in at Lola Bunny's pink house. He got her red roses and chocolates. He rang her doorbell, but there came no reply. He waited and waited for a whole hour before noticing a letter on her doorstep. He picked up and it was for him. He opened it and it read:<em>

'_Dear Bugs,_

_You know I've been doing very well in my basketball career around here and the NBA has chosen me to play for their next season. I start in about three days so I had to leave today and I won't be back for a long time. But when I'm finished, I will come and see you. Or – better – please come and visit me. _

_Yours faithfully,_

_Lola Bunny.'_

"_What a shock!" snapped Bugs. "I can't believe that I have spent $50 on red roses and chocolates for my girlfriend who just left without sayin' goodbye!"_

_He angrily threw them across the road where they landed on Foghorn Leghorn. "Well now, what, I say, what have we got here?" he asked, studying the chocolates and the red roses. "We can't, I say, we can't let these go to waste." _

_He picked up the red roses and planted them in the nearest pink rose garden. Then he ate the chocolates._

* * *

><p>"So, ya see," Bugs said to the audience, "either da world's changin' or my luck's runnin' out."<p>

Bugs just continued to sit outside his rabbit hole. Elmer Fudd came by with his gun and walked past Bugs. "What's up, doc?" Bugs asked.

"I'm hunting wabbits!" Elmer replied before walking off.

Then Yosemite Sam came by and walked past Bugs.

"Who's botherin' you this time?" asked Bugs.

"Oh, just some tall, smartless, two-eared, no-good varmint!" Sam answered, before running off.

"I wonda what dis creature could be if not _moi_," said Bugs to the audience. He found out when Sam was chasing a giraffe! But then the giraffe used his neck to grab a tree branch and swing over to let Sam pass. Then he picked the rough cowboy up with his teeth and threw him over the forest.

"You see, folks, even my old enemies don't wanna spend time with me," moaned Bugs. "What's left for me?"

Then he heard a rumbling noise. Very noisy footsteps was coming Bugs's way. He saw something was through the nearest bush. He ran to the nearest tree and climbed it to see three human beings in heavy dark blue suits that looked similar to the armour the Delta Squad wore from _Gears of War_.

"What could they be?" asked Bugs. "FBI? CIA? Or... CGI?"

The wise-cracking bunny was right. He took a closer look and it _was_ a squad of three computer-generated imagery human beings. They were gathering around his home burrow.

"Eh, what's up, docs?" asked Bugs.

"Docks?" asked one. "We're soldiers, not sailors."

"Not even funny," snapped the second.

"I wasn't joking," protested the first one.

"Both of you put tape around it!" ordered the third one who was the leader. "Field Marshall Bliff Jengheng of the CGI army. Our leader is short of servants and needs some right away."

"What are the requirements?" asked Bugs.

"We need a strong, useful, cheerful creature who won't complain, because, after all, our boss _is_ the busiest person on the planet," said Jengheng, looking at Bugs.

Bugs, wise-cracking as he was, knew what the CGI soldiers were planning. So he asked how much "da salad-ry" was.

"About a million carrots per year," Jengheng told Bugs.

"With an increase income of lettuce and other green vegetables if you work harder every year," the first one chuckled.

"That's pathetic!" muttered the second.

"Well, der _is _a rabbit down der in dat rabbit hole who needs his money right away," Bugs said, pointing to his hole. "Just go down der to knock on da door and he'll accept da job."

The CGI soldiers went down the hole. Then Bugs had his chance to block the hole with wooden planks and nail them to the ground with nails.

"Ya didn't think I'd fall for that old con, did ya?" Bugs said to the audience.

He began to walk away, but then light-green beam shot up, destroying the wooden planks. The CGI soldiers shot up.

"You think we'd fall for that?" shouted the angry chief.

"We did," said the first one.

Jengheng got out his radio. "Boys, I found the perfect new slave. It's a rabbit – male, grey and hand-drawn animated. I want him alive."  
>Bugs ran for his life, chased by the soldiers.<p>

* * *

><p>Bugs came to a fallen down tree and hit under its roots. He saw the entire squad go past him. He even avoided little tiny hovering machines searching for him.<p>

"Modern machinery is nothing like the old-fashioned, ain't it?" Bugs said to the audience.

He waited for it to turn night. Then he got out.

"Boy, do I feel hungry?" he said to himself. Then he saw one carrot, lying on the ground next to a tree stump. He picked it up and ate it. Then a metal cage came up from the ground and trapped the poor bunny.

The entire CGI army arrived, led by Jengheng and his two close soldiers.

"No one can double-hops Field Marshall Bliff Jengheng!" laughed Jengheng. Then he turned to the army. "Well, don't just stand there with your hideous faces and overgrown muscles! Get this rabbit to the Master!"

Bugs looked up through the bars of the cage to see some sort of CGI spaceship-like rocket flying above him. It looked like a stealth plane but ten times bigger and more darkened rainbow painted. The bottom of the rocket opened and a dark brown light shot down on the cage. It was a tractor beam and it picked the cage up.

"When I get to this "master", I'm going to complain about the services on this rocket," moaned Bugs, before the doors below closed up. Then it flew off.


	3. Welcome to the Isle of Epic

Bugs had been stuck in that cage in the cargo bay for a long time.

"Well, this is just my luck," he moaned to the audience. "I get kidnapped by a cheap computer animated army, I get caged up and I don't get a flight-in movie or a cup of tea or even a view out of dis machine."

Then the machine felt like it had finally landed. Four CGI soldiers came out to take the bunny outside.

Through the bars of his cage, Bugs could see that the rocket had landed on a landing pad next to a huge building. The building had about twelve floors with large grand windows and a large grand brown door; perfect for a light brown mansion that had been around for five hundred years. It was in a live action landscape with real grass, real trees, real hills, real waters and a real bright sun in the real sky.

"Quiet fantasy fancy, ain't it!" Bugs said, admiring the scenery.

Trumpets below out and a large golden litter that was as long as a limousine came out of the mighty doors, carried by twenty strong CGI solders. They put the litter down.

"Behold the mighty Lord Jack Epic!" cried the announcer, as a CGI soldier opened the door of the litter. Out came a tall, short brown haircut man in a suit and wearing sunglasses.

Another CGI soldier opened the door on the right-hand side and out came a strong man with ginger hair in a suit. "Behold the strong Lord Jim Epic!" cried the announcer.

Another CGI soldier opened the door on the left-hand side of the litter and a thin man with ginger hair and glasses in a suit stepped out, but tripped over the first step. "Why couldn't you put the step a bit higher?" he shouted.

"You've asked me to lower it seven times, sir," muttered the soldier who opened the door.

"Well, where's my introduction?" the thin man demanded.

"Behold the brilliant Lord John Epic," said the announcer, not as loud as he did with the other two.

"Field Marshall, what is all this about?" Jack demanded.

"You say you're short on slaves, sir," Jengheng said. "I managed to find one."

The Epics went to the cage and saw Bugs.

"What's up, doc?" asked Bugs.

"Doc?" exclaimed Jack. "I am not a doctor, I am a Lord! So call me 'My Lord' or 'Sir'!"

"Honestly, Dad, I don't see him being any use here at all," John said, surveying Bugs. "He's thin, got a cocky attitude and is…"

"One of Eric's childhood heroes," interrupted Jim. "I think we should give him a present, sir. It might make him behave more."

"Well, we've had fifteen years of nothing but trouble and I can take no more," sighed Jack. "Jim, get Eric here and – "

"And what?" asked a voice behind them.

Jim and John gasped and fell to the ground, but Jack just stood there and didn't move.

"I was going to say, 'And don't let him use magic coming here!'" Jack shouted as he turned around to see a thin fellow dressed in scruffy blue jeans and scruffy grey shirt and worn-out brown shoes.

"Hey, Eric, got a gift for you!" cried Jim.

Eric Epic turned to see the cage and was very surprised to see one of his favourite cartoon characters… in a cage.

"Another slave to add to your collection," said Jack. "Now go and put him to good use. The President of the United States of America will be here in about five minutes."

"Yeah, five minutes!" cried John.

Eric pointed his finger at John and John's glasses shattered into pieces.

"Eric!" shouted Jack.

Eric quickly opened the cage, pulled Bugs out and ran off.

"You'd better be right about this, James," warned Jack. "I think this will only increase Eric's rebellion against me."

"A weak, pathetic sorcerer and a mere cartoon character?" scoffed John, as he inspected his glasses. "What damage can they do?"

"Not letting you see, for one thing!" snapped Jack.

* * *

><p>Eric escorted Bugs to the servants' quarters and let the bunny free.<p>

"This may be carrots to you, Bugs, but I have to go to work for my stepdad now," Eric told him. "These guys will fill you in and I will later." Eric clicked his fingers and he vanished.

"Boy, where am I?" asked Bugs. "And what is going on?"

"You're in Epic Mansion and on the Isle of Epics," said a voice. Bugs turned around to see a strange Jim Henson puppet-type unicorn walking towards him. "Hi, Bugs. My name is Sweet Corn."

"How do you know my name?" asked Bugs.

"Eric is your biggest fan," said an approaching giant puppet version of a troll, "and, whenever he watched it, _we_ watched it."

"Yeah, you're our favourite cartoon character, too, doc," said a Gerry Anderson puppet type of a dwarf, who was gathering around Bugs.

Bugs wasn't feeling scared, but he was feeling very confused and a little nervous, since strange live action puppet creatures was gathering around him. "That's really great, docs," the bunny said nervously.

"All right, guys!" cried an old voice. Everyone turned to see an Edgar Bergen puppet-type of a brownie walking towards them. "That's no way to treat the new slave here."

"Slave?" exclaimed Bugs.

"Just like from the movie _Space Jam_, I know," said the brownie, "but in this story, you are a slave just like the rest of use. But we are friendly. The name's Chocolate. Chocolate the Brownie." Bugs bravely shook hands with him. "You've met Sweet Corn the Unicorn, Trolley the Troll and Daniel the Dwarf. And you've met our boss, Eric Epic. Now, come on, it's time for entertainment."

"What are we going to watch?" asked Bugs.

"Probably the crowd throwing tomatoes at us," said Daniel. "Let's go, mate!"

Bugs followed the puppets outside.

* * *

><p>The dining room was as grand as far as grand could go. It was big as a rocky cave and had cream painted walls with a lot of large grand glass windows. It had the longest, strongest wooden table with about fifty seats, with a dozen chandeliers hanging above them.<p>

Sitting on the seats were the Epics and the American President and his wife and his Senate.

"Eric!" shouted Jack. "Bring on the entertainment!" Then he turned to the American President. "I promise you, Mr. President, this will be very entertaining."

"Hey, I trust you with my life," smiled the President. "After you helped me maintain order in all of America with those new laws, I am entirely in your debt."

"Yeah, because you've been brainwashed by me," said a moaning voice on a microphone. Everyone turned to see Eric on the big stage with a microphone. "Just checking it works," he explained before he went off the stage.

"Bring on the puppets!" yelled Jack.

Chocolate, Sweet Corn, Trolley and Daniel walked on the stage.

"Hello, everyone!" greeted Chocolate. "What's cooking? Roasted chicken? Roasted ham? Or a roast of comedy? Hey?"

There was a brief pause.

"Yes, we're wasting time, aren't we?" smiled Chocolate. "So, Daniel, which country makes wine that is both blazing hot as a pepper and cold as snow?"

"What?" asked Daniel.

"Chile! Get it?" Chocolate was laughing, but no one else was.

"Let me try, Choc," said Daniel. "How can you tell if an elephant's been in the fridge? By the hairs on the butter from his…"

"Anyway!" interrupted Chocolate. "I now present to you the good old slapstick part. Ladies and Gentlemen, Trolley and Sweet Corn."

Trolley was chasing Sweet Corn around the room with his enormous cane. Sweet Corn stopped and kicked the troll through the legs which made him stop and drop the cane on his think head, causing him to fall down.

The audience booed them all.

While serving the food – without magic – Epic, in his butler suit, saw what was happening on stage. He quickly ran backstage, where he saw Bugs getting the props and customers ready.

"Hey, Bugs," greeted Eric. "No need for that. You've got to go on stage and save the show."

"But, Doc, if no one knows you're a sorcerer, how can a cartoon guy like me go on stage?" asked Bugs.

"You'll see," smiled Eric. He lifted his straight arms up and down.

Later Bugs was pushed onto the stage. He looked at the audience who didn't seem to be a bit surprised.

"This is the best you can do, Eric? A man dressed up in a Bugs Bunny suit?" laughed Jim.

"What are you talking about? I am – " Bugs looked at himself and saw that he _was_ in fact a live action costumed version of himself like at Warner Bros. Movie World on the Gold Coast, only without a man inside of him. " – a man dressed up as Bugs Bunny."

Bugs did the best dance as he could do, but because he was now live action, he had certain limits to what he could do as a cartoon. And if that wasn't bad enough, the audience wasn't a bit impressed.

"This is the best entertainment you could bring, Bugs?" shouted Jim, rising from his chair. "Well, I suppose you do deserve something for your bravery and courage facing us. Here it is."

Jim threw a bunch of tomatoes at Bugs. On the stage, Bugs was preparing to get covered in tomato juice, when a tennis racket appeared in his hand. With it, he sent the tomatoes back to the audience, which exploded on the table.

"Couldn't you set the donator like two seconds earlier?" groaned John.

"Shut up, John!" snapped Jim.

"Eric!" shouted Jack.

* * *

><p>The puppets were cleaning up the mess of the table, while the Epics were having a word with Eric.<p>

"I didn't ruin your dinner with the President!" protested Eric. "You know your spoiled brat of a son threw the tomato grenades in the first place!"  
>"You call my sons, who have managed to prevented every war from happening and secure peace everywhere with Jim's strength to control every army in the world and John's brain to control all the politicians on the planet, SPOILED BRATS!" yelled Jack.<p>

"You know fully well, Jack, that everything you have ever done was because of my magic!" shouted Eric. "And I feel like I've enslaved the world for your own selfish gains!"

"Fifteen years and you still think the world revolves around you?" Jack chuckled. "It was _my_ idea to use your magic to make the world a better place. So, therefore, I'm the hero, not you! It's very lucky that our relationship with the President of the United States isn't ruined."

"Why worry?" scoffed Eric. "You know he's under a trance; a trance you made me put him under. He thinks you're helping him rule the country, when actually you control him."

"He's not in a trance if he doesn't know he is," said Jack.

"Yes, he is, Jack!" snapped Eric.

"I take you into my home and my family and this is how your gratitude? By giving me nonsense for fifteen years?"

"You're the nonsense, not me!" Eric shouted.

"Just get this room cleared up and get straight off to bed!" shouted Jack. "I expect better behaviour from you in the morning!"

Jack and his sons left the room.

Bugs Bunny, still as a live action suit, came by carrying a tray of carrot juice. As he put the tray on the burnt-up table, Bugs went back into a cartoon character.

"I know this seems to be confusing for you, Bugs," smiled Eric, "but you did really well and I want to thank you so very much. You were my childhood hero and you're still my favourite hero."

"Well, with dat magic racket appearing in my hand, you actually saved my life, too," smiled Bugs. "So, thanks! And the way you stood up to your family, awesome! But, Eric, why do you put up with dis? Why don't you just run away?"

"Because Jack Eric is immune to my magic and people who are immune to magic can control sorcerers and sorceress," Eric told him.

"Control? Ha!" laughed Daniel.

"You always say that everything Jack has done is because of you," said Trolley.

"That's because it's true, Trolley," said Eric. "He became a success _only_ since he found me in the orphanage. I remember the time he was just a coffee boy at a hotel that was losing money. Then he was so desperate for money and power that he went to see someone who was cleverer than him, though he'll never admit it. He came to an orphanage – the one where I was at – then he saw me play your cartoons on the wall. He saw my magic! Then he adopted me for one reason – to use my magic to help him rule the world. If I refused, he'll control me to destroy the world. That was the only choice I had. He forced me to make coffee so tasty that the hotel would be turned into a coffee shop. The coffee was so successful that coffee companies, like Costa or Starbuck's, would lose money and would have to work for Jack. He became so successful and powerful. He was not knighted, but made into a Lord by the Queen! Then the more money and power he got, the more he wanted. So he bought every supermarket, every car company, every building loan companies, every movie company – that CGI army was created by Pixar, Dreamworks Animation, Microsoft, Apple, you name it – and every government not just in England but everything on this planet."

"So how did your puppet friends become slaves?" asked Bugs.

"When Jack decided to move this unknown island," said Eric, "he found my friends here. They were so scared that Jack wasted no seconds trapping them and making them his slaves."

"Lucky Eric is here to support us, because he _is_ one of us," said Chocolate.

"This will never end as long as I have my magic," said Eric. "I have tried everything I can to get rid of my magic."

"When you say everything you can…" Bugs said.

"I meant there's one way," said Eric, "but it's so dangerous and I don't want anyone dying for it. But, if you must know, there are five magic orbs somewhere in this world or somewhere in the universe and, if we find them, I can perform the spell to rid me of this magic and the whole wide world – and probably the universe, if I can – will be free again."

"But what about all the wars and crimes that have been prevented by your father?" asked Daniel.

"What about all the education the kids are getting?" asked Sweet Corn.

"And what about yourself?" asked Chocolate. "If you get rid of your magic, won't you be getting of yourself?"

"It _will_ be a shame that countries will get their wars and their crimes back," said Eric, "but that is something the people themselves should sort out, not by my magic. Kids and grown-ups should have holidays, not just work and school all their lives. Controlling the whole world with my magic isn't the solution to all the problems of the world when it _is_ a problem itself. As for myself, if it will make the world a better place, then I'm willing to lay my life down and my mind is 100% made-up."

"Well, if that's how you feel," said Chocolate, "then let's go find the orbs."


	4. The Orb of Bravery

Eric, Bugs and the Servants went to the servants' quarters. They got scrolls and books and everything about magic.

"Hey, Eric?" cried Bugs. "Why not sneak into one of your brothers' room and see if he's got a computer? It must 'ave more information."

"A lot more information about people's own life and about beautiful people with no clothes on," Eric told him. "But you _have_ given me an idea, Bugs. Jack is immune to my magic, because he must have learnt it. But from what? He must have some ancient scrolls in his study. Come on! Let's go!"

Eric clicked his fingers and everyone went invisible. The door opened but there was a lot of clanging and bashing around the room.

"Guys, what's going on?" shouted Eric's voice.

"This muscle-bound fool of a troll just fell on me and now I'm squashed!" moaned Daniel with a muffled voice.

"Be careful where you trod, horn head!" snapped Choc.

"I poked you with my horn, because your long beard got in the way of my hooves!" snapped Sweet Corn.

"Guys, come on!" snapped Eric. But there was a lot of arguing and fighting going on in the room. The young sorcerer sighed. Then he heard someone behind his back, saying, "Right behind ya, doc!"

"Let's go, Bugs," said Eric.

* * *

><p>The grand corridors of the bedroom were silent with the exception of unmarked, let alone seen, footsteps.<p>

"This is very grand, Eric," said Bugs. "Would you run away from a place from this if it weren't for your nasty step-family?"

"I would rather live on the streets with no home and no money, but with a bunch of friends," Eric replied. "I only had two friends – a human and a mermaid, who were both orphans like me – and we would sit on the rocks near the beach and watch your cartoons and your friends' cartoons."

"What friends?" muttered an uninterested Bugs.

"What's happened?" asked Eric. "Did Daffy finally become the new star of Looney Tunes? Did you lose your friends? Has Lola run off with another rabbit?"

"More like a bunch of rabbits," Bugs told him. "She left me to pursuit her basketball career."

"You know, you don't have to help me with this just to take your mind off things," Eric said. "There is a lot more to life."

"That's what _you_ want rather than be trapped all your life," said Bugs. "So let's do this together and start a new life."

"Yeah, okay," said Eric. "Let's start with this door."

When they went through the door like ghosts, they saw Jack sleeping in his grand and warm bed. But he wasn't quiet.

"Boy, he snores louder than a klaxon," whispered Bugs.

"Then he can't hear us while we do our research," Eric pointed out happily.

Above Jack's large grand wooden desk, the drawers opened and the scrolls came flying out in mid-air and unrolling themselves out. Then some more scrolls appear out of thin air the same size of the scrolls.

"How often do ya do this, doc?" asked Bugs.

"This copying spell is the first time I've done this in my whole life," replied Eric. Then the copied scrolls vanished and he put the original back on the desk.

"Right, let's beat it!" shouted Eric.

Then the room went quiet once more and nothing was moving except the blinking eye of Jack!

* * *

><p>At the servant quarters, Eric and Bugs were no longer invisible and neither were the servants. And neither was the mess they created in the room. Broken beds, ripped wallpapers, food and water on the floor, what a nightmare!<p>

"I would explain, Eric," said Choc, "but it would be pathetic."

"No need," smiled Eric as he clapped his hands. The room was clean as someone who just stepped out of the shower, but drier.

"Now make yourselves usual by reading these scrolls and find out what you can," Eric told them, giving them each one scroll.

"I can't read this, Eric," said Bugs. "This writing ain't English."

"It _is_ English," said Eric. "These scrolls appear to be written by the earliest and most forgotten English language well before the Neolithic Age and all the Ages before that. And this one says here that ' the species of wizards and witches were created when the Gods of magic came down to enslave the world, but a few mortals defeated and stole their powers becoming sorcerers and sorceresses. They knew the mere mortals would attack them as if they were the Gods, so they lived their lives in lies. And – ' that's it? There must be more."

"Well, I've found something," pointed out Daniel. "It's one of the Orbs. It's in a little village in Japan; it's quiet, forgotten village in Mount Nantai."

"Fantastic!" smiled Eric. "Come on, let's go. Well, come on, guys, you know the drill."

"What drill?" asked Bugs, holding a drill tool.

"We're going to evacuate the whole building for a fire that isn't there," said Eric. Then he laughed. "Sorry, I couldn't resist."

"Ha, ha, very funny!" snapped Bugs. Then he turned to the audience. "Just my luck, I get kidnapped, I work in a strange environment and everyone is talking to me like I _know_ what is going on!"

The servants went to the cupboards and got out a bunch of wooden craved models of themselves. They also got out a wax figure of Eric. Then the sorcerer clapped his hands twice and the lifeless figures started to move.

"What about me?" asked Bugs.

"Taken care of," smiled Eric. Choc gave him a paper. "Thanks, Choc." He waved his hand and out of the paper appeared a copy of Bugs Bunny. Then the real Eric turned to the real Bugs. "You see, Bugs, the Epics always disturb me in the night, telling me to do something. That's why these brilliant guys here will cover for us."

"You must be a really clever wizard," thought Bugs.

"Well, I learnt it – all this sticking up to my step-family and cunning tricks to fool them – from the best," smiled Eric. "And not from creatures who control magic, but from one of my cartoon heroes who has managed to avoid and defeat every villain in his path."

Bugs felt happy for that compliment.

"And I'm very happy you agreed to go to help me through this because I can still learn more from you," Eric went on. "So, come on, let's get this orb before sunrise, because they want breakfast on the table by five o'clock in the morning."

Eric, Bugs and the servants gathered around in a ring. "Hold hands!" ordered Eric. They all did. "Now, while I chant, we all walk around and, when I finish, we all jump." Then Eric chanted in the ancient magic language and they all walked in the ring. Then when Eric stopped, they all jumped up and then landed.

"If I didn't know any better, which I don't," said Bugs, "dat ain't de oldest version of Ring a Ring o' Roses, ain't it?"

"Nah, I don't think so," smiled Eric.

"I'm certain dit dis!" Bugs said to the audience.

Everyone looked around to see that they were in a village that looked like the image on the scroll, but the environment wasn't live action. It was looked like some sort of cartoon.

"どういったご用件ですか?" asked a voice. (Can I help you?) Everyone turned to see a little Japanese girl with short black hair in a pink shirt, blue shorts and brown sandals in a wheelchair. She looked like she was drawn in anime.

"I forgot to point out," whispered Daniel, "that the village would be in Anime."

Eric slowly and friendly walked over to the girl. "こんにちは!" he smiled. "あなたは誰ですか、我々はどこですか?" (Hello! Who are you and where are we?)

"私の名前は千賀子だと私はあなたの助けが必要です。私の村が攻撃されている!" the girl answered sadly. (My name is Chikako and I need your help. My village is under attack!)

"誰によって?" asked Eric. (By who?)

"悪魔!" sobbed Chikako. (By demons!)

"Well, you heard the young lady," Eric called to the servants in English. "Come on!"

"How can you speak Japanese?" asked Trolley.

"If I can read and speak the oldest language on the planet, surely a modern language these days are easy to learn," Eric replied.

"Unlike most people these days who just can't be bothered to learn today just because English is the most spoken language these days," moaned Daniel.

"うわー！バッグス·バニー!" exclaimed Chikako, looking at Bugs. (Wow! Bugs Bunny!) But Bugs just sit there, not knowing what to do.

"I ain't got my Japanese counterpart to dub me," Bugs told me.

Then a Japanese version of Bugs came to him. He was wearing a crown and carrying a sword. He whacked Bugs on the head, making him fall down. Then he put the sword on each soldier. "I don't want to be a knight!" snapped Bugs. "I don't want that kind of dub!"

Eric and the servants couldn't help laughing. "That wasn't one of my spells, Bugs," laughed Eric, winking to Choc. "Chikako wants to meet you."

Bugs walked to Chikako and offered her his hand, but she grabbed him and squeezed her like a cuddly toy. "This had better be worth twenty four… million carrots I'm getting paid for this story!" the squashed rabbit sighed.

* * *

><p>The nearby village was anime. It was a nice area with lovely old fashioned houses with old-style thatched roofs, green grasses and trees and a beautiful stream running by. But it was not peaceful due to the fight that was happening. The houses were burning and the villagers were fighting with swords and pitchforks and other strong, steel tools against ugly, vicious demons of all creatures.<p>

Then everything stopped when everyone heard fireworks and saw them go off in the sky. They looked down to see the entrance of the village. There Eric was throwing tiny fireworks in the sky. Then he clicked his fingers and those tiny fireworks exploded into a large and colourful bang!

"Better grabbing their attention this way than joining their war and taking sides, wouldn't you say?" said Eric.

"My way of thinkin', too, doc," agreed Bugs.

"見よ、強力な魔術師、エリック·エピック!" announced Choc. "と特にごみディズニーチャンネルの番組で彼のライバルミッキーマウスよりも良いですすべての時間の最も偉大な漫画のキャラクター、バッグスバニー!" (Behold, the powerful sorcerer, Eric Epic! And the greatest cartoon character of all time, who's even better than his rival Mickey Mouse especially on those rubbish Disney Channel programmes, Bugs Bunny!)

"Choc, what are you doing?" asked Bugs. "My fame is over and my friends and fans are gone."

"Well, you are famous, so if you're around, people will listen to you and you will help Eric and us, your friends and your fans, easily that way," smiled Choc.

Then Eric and his friends walked to them. Chikako was pushed by Daniel. Eric approached the village leader, an old man with a white beard, and the demon commander, a jaguar's body with a giraffe's neck but black with a sheep's head.

"だから、誰が誰に何をしましたか?" Eric demanded. (So who has done what to whom?)

"これは、多くの数千年前に私たちの村であるために使用され、それが我々鬼が隠れているを停止し、我々はこの世界の場所を持って示すための時間です!" shouted the demon commander. (This used to be our village many millenniums ago and it is time for us demons to stop hiding and show we have a place in this world!)

"私たちの祖先は彼らの家を構築するためにどこかに必要な、彼らはこれらのモンスターとの合意に達することができなかったので、我々は彼らを追い出すことではなく、選択の余地はなかった！私たちは、どこかで平和に生きたかった、彼らは私たちを受け入れる場合にのみ、私たちは友達にしてきただろう!" protested the village leader. (Our ancestors needed somewhere to build their houses and because they couldn't come to an agreement with these monsters, we had no choice but to drive them out! We only wanted somewhere to live peacefully; we would've been friends if only they would accept us!)

"我々はこれらの話サルと友達になりたいなかった場合でも、鬼の王はそれを実現することができません。彼は同様に彼らと私たちを殺すだろう," said the demon commander. (Even if we did want to be friends with these talking monkeys, the King of the Demons would not allow it to happen. He would kill us as well as them.)

"待って!" cried Eric. "あなたの王はどこですか?" (Wait! Where is your king?)

"山の上に," answered the commander. "しかし、なぜ私たちはあなたを信頼するべきか？王は魔法とその神々について話してくれたとしました – " (On the top of the mountain. But why should we trust you? The King has told me about magic and their gods and - )

"まあ、私はそれらの物語の何も知らない," interrupted Eric. 私もずっと自分の魔法のを知りません。私が最初にウィザードまたは神のように悪くされていないことを意味しますように。だから私はリーダーに取る!" (Well, I know nothing of those stories. I don't know even much of my own magic. So that means I can't have been as bad as the First Wizards or the Gods. So take me to your leader!)

"はい...先生," sighed the commander. (Yes, sir.)

Eric turned around to see the village leader. "そして、先生、あなたの戦士を切り上げ!" (And you, sir, round up your warriors!)

The leader couldn't believe what he just heard. "なぜですか？なぜ我々はこれらの邪悪な生き物で動作しなければなりませんか?" (Why? Why must we work with these evil creatures?)

Eric calmly walked to him. "三つの理由：One：あなたはこれらの生き物は悪ではありません、彼らはそれらの良い持っていることを確認しなければならない。2：あなたがお互いに、三と停戦協定を構築する必要があります：すべての人の代わりに魔法に応じての事自体をすることを学ぶ必要があります！そうを動かしてみませんか？" (Three reasons: One: You must see that these creatures are not evil and they have good in them; Two: You must build a truce with each other and Three: Everyone must learn to do things themselves instead of depending on magic! So get a move on!)

"はい...先生," sighed the village leader. (Yes, sir.) Then he left to get his warriors ready.

Eric turned to his friends. "You see, I did it without magic."

"Well, ya did by using your brain," said Bugs. "And next thing ya'll be sayin' that's the true magic."

"Just like you'll be saying that's the true trick of all the tricks you used to avoid Elmer, Sam and all your rivals," said Eric. "You see, I always thought I related to you."

"よくやった!" cried Chikako. "あなたは、世界が彼の周りに回転しないことを私のお父さんを示した." (Well done! You showed my dad that the world doesn't revolve around him.)

"あなたが意味する、偉そう、つまり考える-HE-は-常に右、コントロールフリークのリーダーはあなたのお父さんですか？" cried Choc. (You mean, that bossy, think-he-is-always-right, control-freak leader is your dad?)

"Choc!" Eric warned with a look. "That's her father. The one who helped her mother give birth in the first place and raised her to become what she is."

"真実ではない!" Chikako pointed out. "まあ、私は7であった だけになるまで、彼はその後、村のリーダーになると約10年のためにそれらに焦点を当てているの職務をかかりました。彼も、誰も私を信じないないので、たぶんそれはない。私は私の人生にあった唯一の事はあなたの素晴らしい漫画です, バグ."

(Not true! Well, only until I was seven did he then take the duties of being the village leader and has been focusing on them for about ten years. Maybe it's because he doesn't believe in anyone, not even me. The only thing I had in my life is your wonderful cartoons, Bugs.)

She reached for the bunny and squeezed him dead tight.

"I know how you feel, kid," said Bugs. "I lost all my friends and fans. You've brought me happiness, too." Then he realized. "Hey, Eric, how can I understand Japanese?"

"Well, I don't like boasting about my magic," said Eric. "So, come on, let's go and grab that orb before more trouble comes."

The Demons took Eric, Bugs, the servants, Chikako, her father and the villagers to the very top of the mountain. There stood a giant door of an old stone giant temple. On the top of the door, there stood two demons of duck bodies with bat wings and hyena heads.

"Why does no one know this?" asked Sweet Corn. "Wouldn't the first people who climbed this mountain have seen this? What the TV documentary crews? What about the air tours?"

"My guess, Sweet Corn, is that there must be some power source in there that is making us, including me, not seeing it," replied Eric.

The Demons and the Villagers began to walk in, but the Villager Leader was blocked off by his daughter.

"あなたは何をやっていると思いますか?" he asked. 私が実行する仕事を得たので、私が通過ましょう！しました!" (What do you think you're going? I've got a job to do, so let me pass!)

"私が手助けをしたい!" begged Chikako. (I want to help!)

"ここに滞在して助けることができます," her father told her. "私が戻らない場合は、村のリーダーとしての役割を引き継ぐことになります." (You can help by staying here. If I don't return, you will take over as village leader.) Then he moved on.

A smiling Eric walked to Chikako. "、千賀子を心配しないで," he assured her. "それは私の計画のすべての部分です." (Don't worry, Chikako. It's all part of my plan.) Then he walked into the temple with the rest of his team.

* * *

><p>Everyone walked through the dark, damp, dangerous-looking temple. The rocks inside looked like they could fall down at any minute!<p>

"If people live here, they should find better builders," Bugs said.

It wasn't long until they finally reached some light. They were in a room with nothing but burning torches on the wall, a grand stone chair and smooth floor surface in the middle.

"何がここでありますか?" asked a nasty voice. (What have we here?) On the chair, a black snake-like tail approached appeared out of the shadows.

"彼の前にひれ伏す!" whispered the demon commander. (Bow down before him). The demons did, but no one else did. " 魔法や戦闘は何も解決しません!"

(Magic or fighting will not solve anything!)

Then everyone did bow down.

On the chair, the tail appeared to be actually one of the eight tentacles on the body of a black octopus with the head of sloth with a wolf's teeth.

"王を見よ!" said the commander. (Behold the King!)

"だから、私の友人は," chuckled the King evilly.

"あなたが私に降伏するようになったことがありますか?" (So, my friends. Have you come to surrender to me?)

"違う!" Then the village leader realised his mistake.

"私は、ええと、私は単にあなたとあなたの人々との休戦をしたいを意味します。だから我々は平和的に一緒に住むことができます." (No! I, uh, meant I merely wish to make a truce with you and your people. So we can live peacefully together.)  
>"そして、なぜ私はそれに同意しますか?" asked the King. (And why should I agree to that?)<p>

"そうでない場合," said the village leader, "私はあなたに、このウィザードを設定しますので!"

(Because if you don't, I will set this wizard on you!) He grabbed Eric and threw him before the King.

"でしょうか?" exclaimed Eric. (WHAT?)

"ウィザード!" exclaimed the King.

"私はあなたのような種類の人々を知っています。自分のために世界を支配する最初の場所であなたの神から魔法を盗んだような。まあ、それはここで！この場所は魔法に免疫がある!" (A wizard! I know people of your kind. The kind who stole the magic from your gods in the first place to rule the world for themselves. Well, not here! This place is immune to magic!)

"Probably because this place _is_ magic!" muttered Eric.

"だから私はあなたの場所にあなたを置くつもりだ!" announced the King. (So I'm going to put you in your place!)

Then Eric's arms and legs were wrapped around in chains. And then he was pulled onto the cell.

"Did Chikako ask you for help, too?" asked a voice nearby.

Eric turned to see another real-life man chained to the wall. "Jackie Chan!" he exclaimed. "How did you get here?"

"I was on my way home for Hong Kong on my private plane," Jackie said, "then I was hit by a storm and I landed outside the village, where Chikako found me. The village was attacked, so I used my martial arts just to scare them away. It seemed to work, so Chikako's dad sent me to the top of the mountain to sort them out. When I got there, I told the King that I wasn't planning to fight, but he wouldn't believe so he challenged me to the duelling monsters which I failed so I was chained up here and have been for about a week."

"Duelling monsters?" exclaimed Eric. "Are my friends going to…"

"Yep," replied Jackie.

* * *

><p>The King turned to the village leader.<p>

"あなたのためとして、あなただけの私に戦争を宣言しています。あなたは戦争とあなたが得ようとしている戦争をしたい. (As for you, you have just declared war on me. You want a war and a war you are going to get.)

"幸運を祈ります," whispered the demon commander, as he and his soldiers walked away. (Good luck.)

"Well, this looks fun and exictin'," said Bugs, "but I'm out of 'condision' and it will be an unfair fight, so I must back out." He tried to walk away, but one of the demon guards pushed him back with the servants.

The King clicked his tentacles and out of the darkness appeared a giant rock version of an ox with tusks, a giant slimy worm with spider legs and a Japanese Dragon, who was not Anime, but a giant puppet.

The King cried his battle-cry. The three demons charged for their foes.

The rock ox knocked the village warriors down easily like a bowling strike. The long-legged worm charged for the village leader and the magical servants. And poor Bugs was stuck up at a wall facing the dragon with its mouth opened. He got out a bucket of water and threw it in the dragon's mouth

"Thanks, Bugs!" the dragon said in English. "It's great when your hero gives you a gift when you first meet him."  
>Now Bugs was puzzled. "Boy, either I'm carrots or he's up his own smoke."<p>

"I don't want to fight you, Bugs," said the dragon. "So what's your plan for getting us out of here?"

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Eric and Jackie were still chained to the wall. They have been trying to get out, but they have had no success at all. They were standing on the wall, trying to pull the chain off.<p>

"We have tried everything we can to get out of these and the only thing we've done is revealed our butts!" moaned Eric. Then he turned to the audience. "Hey, guys, which one of us have the nicer butt?"

"Oh, shut up and come back down!" snapped Jackie.

Eric sighed and jumped down. "Have you got anything in your pocket?"

"Only a few cookies," replied Jackie.

"Delicious!" muttered the sorcerer sarcastically.

* * *

><p>The rock ox had covered the defenceless villagers cornered up by the wall. Their weapons were out of their hands. The rock monster's hands turned into the shape of an axe and lifted it high up. Then he was about halfway of lifting it down, but he stopped and screamed. He was burning like oil. He ran to the nearest water, which was water drops from the roof.<p>

Everyone turned to see the dragon panting with smoke coming out of his breath. "Don't thank me," he panted. "Bugs is the hero here."

"Always happy to help a fan, I am," smiled Bugs, coming from behind the dragon.

"Well, how about a little help here?" cried Daniel, as he, the servants and the village leader were walking backwards slowly as they were facing the long-legged worm that was chasing them.

"ましょう、これはより興味深いものに、我々はしなければならない?" smiled the Demon King in Japanese. He pulled down a lever near his chair. (Let's make this more interesting, shall we?)

Trolley was behind the group. Then he nearly fell down backwards, but he pulled himself up and stopped everyone in front of him. They all turned to see there was a giant brick on the floor missing. They saw more bricks in the middle of the floor were dropping like flies. Where the bricks fell, it looked like lava underneath.

Everyone had to get on either the left or the ride side of the room. But the worm could jump from side to side and could still chase them. It passes Bugs and the dragon.

"Can you breathe anything else besides fire, drag?" asked Bugs.

"Well, I can breathe grass if you give me grass seeds," replied the dragon. "If you give me batteries, I can breathe electricity."  
>"What if I give you some ice?" asked Bugs.<p>

"I would get a cold," replied the dragon. Then he got a bunch of ice from an ice cube tray forcing their way down his throat. He sneezed and he breathed ice. The lava was now an ice skating rink. The worm slipped on the ice and he skidded out of the temple.

"十分に!" shouted the Demon King. 私はあなたから始まる、あなたのすべてを殺すものは、裏切りの竜！

(Enough! I shall kill all of you, starting with you, you traitorous dragon!)

He got off his chair. His tentacles grew double size and he drew out two swords. He clicked his fingers and the ice melted with fire shooting out! It was like the core of the Earth was beneath them.

The King was chasing them around the room. His victims had to run around the room to avoid him; there was nowhere else to run and there was definitely nowhere to hide. And there was nowhere for them to avoid the mean king's attack.

Soon his victims were so out of breath that they just had to stop. They were in a group catching their breath, when the King appeared in front of them. He lifted his swords high and move forward, but as he lowered his swords, so too did his body. He fell on the rocky path nearly hitting the lava. Then he was lifted up in the air and he was pulled up into the air and was spinning around much faster than the tasmanian devil. Then he was thrown in the cell where Eric and Jackie were in. The King crashed into the wall where it fell on top of him. The broken wall now freed Jackie and Eric, who ran out as fast as they can. Then Eric closed the door behind him and Jackie locked it. Then he threw the key in the lava just before the floor was repairing itself with stone bricks.

"Well done, everyone!" cheered Eric, clapping his hands. "You did it without magic."

"But who grabbed the King and threw him to the prison?" asked Choc.

"Look below the chair," said Eric.

Everyone looked at the chair and looked down below where Chikako was lying on the floor out of her wheelchair.

"ちかこ!" exclaimed the village leader, running to her and putting her back in her wheelchair. "あなたは何をしていました?" (Chikako! What were you doing?)

Chikako tried to speak, but she was too afraid to speak.

Then Eric appeared in front of him and spoke. "私は彼女が何をしていたかを教えてあげましょう。彼女は村のリーダーとしての職務に比べてどれだけ重要でないあなたに証明しようとしていた." (I'll tell you what she was doing. She was trying to prove to you just how unimportant she is compared to your duties as village leader.)

"黙れ!" shouted the villager leader. "何も彼女より私にとってより重要ません!" (Shut up! Nothing's more important to me than her!) Then he turned to his daughter. "そして、あなたがやったことは、私は誰もが私の人生で何見ている勇敢なものでした。私はあなたを本当に誇りに思っています." (And what you did was the bravest thing I have seen anyone do in my whole life. I'm really proud of you.)

"And my spell worked," smiled Eric.

The Demon Commander walked to Eric. "氏賢者は、あなたの友人はこれを得るために非常に懸命に戦っています." He pulled down a lever and the chair opened up. It revealed to be a shiny green orb.  
>"それは勇気のオーブです." (Mr. Sorcerer, your friends are fought very hard to earn this. It's the Orb of Bravery.)<p>

"さて、あなたに感謝します," smiled Eric. "しかし、あなたは現在、村人と友達になりますか?" (Well, thank you. But will you be friends with the villagers now?)

* * *

><p>Much later, Eric, Bugs and the servants was greeted a big farewell from villagers and demons alike.<p>

Eric bumped into Jackie Chan on the way. "Are you sure you don't need a lift, Jackie?" asked Eric.

"No, thank you," replied Jackie. "Once I finish my vacation here, my new friends will give me a ride back home to Hong Kong. I know your journey isn't over yet, so good luck and take care!" He held a thumb up.

"You too," said Eric, returning his thumb to Jackie.

The last three people they saw were Chikako, her dad and the demon commander. Eric shook hands with the leaders and Chikako squeezed Bugs and the servants very tightly.

"Come on, guys, let's buck," Eric said, as they held hands.

"But we don't have any buckets," pointed out Trolley.

"No need," said Eric, as they all jumped and landed back in the servants' room. It was sun rise and their doubles looked exhausted.

"The Epics been working you too hard?" asked Bugs.

"Since you left for your mission," moaned Daniel's doubles, "we've been up all night giving John his medicine – three times an hour, making Jim had all of his twenty-four blankets on him and kept getting told by Jack to keep it down."

"Keep what down?" asked Trolley's double. "We weren't holding anything up."

"And we had to make them fifteen different types of breakfast," moaned Choc's double.

"Eric! Come to the dining room! NOW!" shouted the voice of Jack.

"Well done, you guys," Eric said to his and his friends' doubles. "We'll take it here from now. Here's your reward." He waved his hand and the doubles froze. "Get your rest. You'll need it for tonight."

* * *

><p>"ERIC!" cried Jack from the dining room.<p>

Jim and John, sat at the table, were drinking their glasses of orange.

"YES!" a voice shouted that made the twins choke on their juice. Behind them was Eric, Bugs and the servants laughing at their prank they just pulled.

"This fifteenth breakfast you made is the worst you made yet!" snapped Jack. "Make a good breakfast this time because we cannot work on an empty stomach. And get this place warmed up! I'm chilly!"

"Us too!" shivered John. Then he and Jim stopped shivering and were sweating and panting. "That's more like it," sighed John happily.

"You're on fire, John," said Jim.

"I know," said John happily. "I'm happy now I feel warm."

"No, you're on fire because your chair is burning!" shouted Jim.

John turned to see that his chair _was_ on fire! He got off and ran away. Jim's chair started to burn and he got off too.

Jack stared angrily at Eric. "What?" snapped Eric.

"I want to be warm, okay?" Then Jack was covered up in flames. He was then covered in soot. The Japanese Dragon Eric and his friends met in Mount Nantai was standing behind Jack.

"Are you happy now?" asked the fire-breathing reptile.

"Eric, what the hell is going on?" yelled Jack. "I don't give a fireball!"

"Well, you don't breathe fire, do you?" chuckled the dragon.

"Just get everything sorted out!" shouted Jack, storming out of the room.

Eric, Bugs, the servants and the dragon were laughing their heads off.

"So, what da ya call yaself, drag?" Bugs asked the dragon.

"Well, I was the Demon King's slave ever since I was an egg and was never named, but everyone kept telling me to 'Shoo Off'," the dragon told them.

"That reminds me of the Japanese name 'Shou' which means 'soar' and 'fly'," pointed out Trolley.  
>"My name: Shou Off?" pondered the dragon. "Yeah, I like it."<p>

Everyone started to make their new friend Shou Off the dragon feel welcome and part of their team.

Bugs joined Eric. "Eh, I've had a lot of success ever since I was created, but this has been the best day of my life."  
>"Mine, too," smiled Eric, but secretly he was sad. "But I just wish Diamond and Zack were here today."<p> 


	5. Zack's Adult Life and Career

_The air of the real life city of Washington D.C. was wailing with police sirens._

_At Metropolitan Police Station, the Superintendent was on the phone. "Major, I want an update on the Lincoln Memorial Statue."_

_On the phone he got a report that there was nothing wrong with the Lincoln Memorial Statue except Abraham Lincoln's own private bank account had disappeared._

_"Keep investigating!" the superintendent ordered. Then he redialled the phone. "Captain Thompson, Lieutenant Pan, I have a special job for you."_

* * *

><p><em>One police car was speeding through the street. It was a mean car pushing clearing crowded streets, standing on one wheel every time someone was crossing the road and making the cyclists in front of them go faster by making the sirens louder than they needed to be.<em>

_Inside Captain Thompson was driving and laughing very loudly. His partner Lieutenant Pan was laughing with him too. _

_"Yeah, show everyone who rules the road!" laughed Pan loudly._

_"Some gratitude these people are giving us!" moaned Thompson. "After all the criminals we threw in jail and the streets we're protecting."_

_"Especially that British twit, O'Marrows!" pointed out Pan. "Why the superintendent made him a sergeant I'll never know. I just hope he doesn't screw up with our mission like all the times he has done ever since he joined the academy."_

_"Speaking of our mission, who are we suppose to chase?" asked Thompson._

_"Well, the superintendent said it was two crooks in a Lincoln MKT," Pan told his partner. "Probably Abraham Lincoln's car. Get it?" He laughed. "Oh, and they're cartoon characters. How we're going to find them in this real-life city I'll never know."_

_He would know if they looked in the mirror, because behind them was a Lincoln MKT and inside were two cartoon characters._

_"Hey, look, Rocky," cried the big dumb one. "There's a cop car in front of us."_

_"Drive around them and drive much faster, Mugsy!" ordered Rocky._

_The car did go around the police car with a little bump. Mugsy popped his head out. "Sorry!" he called to the cops._

_"Get your head back in, you dimwit!" snapped Rocky, pulling Mugsy's head back in. "Step on it!" The Lincoln speeded._

_"That looked like a car with two cartoon characters in it," said Pan._

_"I'm on it!" cried Thompson. And the police car gave chase._

* * *

><p><em>The Police Car chased the Lincoln car through Lafayette Park, Franklin Square Park, every park there was, including the parking lots… In short, they chased the bad guys through the entire city of Washington until they came to the docks. Unfortunately, the docks were busy when they were going. The Lincoln passed through a crane that was lifting a crate of fish. But the Police Car was still driving through. The crane was forced to stop, which made the crate crash onto the car. <em>

_"Phew!" cried Thompson as he wiped the windscreen. _

_But Pan was having a swell time. He was chewing on a fish. "Hmm," he smiled. "Haddock! My favourite!" Then he offered another fish to Thompson. "Fish?"  
>"Fish off!" snapped Thompson. <em>

_Meanwhile, the Lincoln was driving past the fishing boat._

_"Keep on it, Mugsy!" ordered Rocky. "We're losing them."  
>"Oh, look, Rocky," cried Mugsy. "There's someone there."<br>Through his tight hat, he could see there was someone in front of them. "Drive around him!" ordered Rocky._

_The Lincoln drove on the right hand side. They could see the figure holding a small box of nails in his hand. And he threw them… behind him?_

_"Look, Rocky, he threw the nails behind him," Mugsy chuckled._

_Rocky laughed. "How is that going to stop us?" he asked._

_The Lincoln drove past the figure and drove on… the nails! The car wheels burst and the car stopped._

_"Come on, Mugsy!" cried Rocky. "Let's beat it!"_

_Rocky and Mugsy got out of the car and ran… on a big patch of sticky oil. They couldn't move._

_The figure came to them. He was a black man in fisherman's uniform. He held a police badge. "Sergeant Zack O'Marrows," the policeman said in his British voice. "You're all under arrest." He put manacles on the bad guys._

_"This is just like Bugs Bunny chasing us," said Mugsy. "I missed those good old days, don't you, Rocky?"_

_"Shut up!" snapped Rocky._

_"Yeah, that's how I learnt to discover all your tricks!" said Zack. "If he hops into you, tell him I said that."_

_Then the police car that was chasing them was coming towards them._

_"WATCH OUT!" cried Pan._

_Thompson steered the car away from them, but it skidded on the oil. And it fell into the sea. Thompson and Pan climbed out of the sea._

_"O'MARROWS!" Thompson and Pan shouted together._

_"Yes, pals?" asked Zack, walking to them._

* * *

><p><em>Zack, Thompson and Pan were in the Superintendent's office.<em>

_"Sergeant O'Marrows, do you have anything to say?" asked the Superintendent._

_"Yes, sir," replied Zack. "I am aware of the charges but I do not believe I deserve them."_

_"O'Marrows, you are both strong and clever," said the Superintendent gently. "You are an excellent cop, but, believe me when I say this, I do worry about you."_

_"About how I do my job?" asked Zack._

_"Despite all the success you've had all your life, you have an attitude problem," said the Superintendent. "You don't have friends and you get in the way of these well-respected officers."_

_"If it weren't for me, sir," protested Zack, "they would not have gotten the respect they get in the first place. Every time they have a success is only because of my interfering."_

_"Are you saying that you're a better cop than them?" snapped the Superintendent._

_Zack gave his boss a smug look. "I am, sir. You're the one who made me tough. You're the one who told me not to take nonsense from anyone. And that's why I don't obey them, even when they pull rank on me."_

_"How about we make a wager, sir?" Thompson asked the Superintendent. "For the next three weeks, you give him a leave of absence and we'll show you both that we can solve crimes without him."_

_"What are you doing?" asked Pan._

_"Shut up!" Thompson whispered._

_"I accept the wager," said Zack._

_"Very well," said the Superintendent. "O'Marrows, you will not work for the Metropolitan Police Department for three weeks. I will call you in and you will see the progress these guys will have made during that time. Right, dismissed, gentlemen."_

_Thompson and Pan walked out. Zack turned and began to walk away. Then…_

_"Zack, one more thing," called the Superintendent. Zack faced him. "There is one reason I don't fire you and that's because you do some good in this police force. Ever since you joined the police force, the streets are safer and more crimes have been punished just as they deserved."_

_"Then why are you worried about me?" asked Zack._

_"I know there's something that's been troubling you and I want you to sort it out while you have the time off," the Superintendent told him._

_"So this is a vacation?" Zack asked._

_"If you want to take it like that," the Superintendent said. "Now, go on. Stop wasting the free time you have."  
>And, with that, Zack left the building.<em>

* * *

><p>"…and that's whole story, Dr. Scratchansniff," concluded Zack, who was on the sofa in Dr. Otto Scratchansniff's office.<p>

"Well, your boss told ya all this yesterday," said Scratchansniff, "and you still don't feel happy or useful?"  
>The door opened and the Warner Siblings entered. "Oh, no," sighed Scratchansniff.<p>

"Maybe this will cheer you up," said Wakko, tickling Zack under his armpits.

Zack laughed his head off. "Okay, I'm happy now, Wakko."

Scratchansniff blew his whistle. Ralph T. Guard arrived, grabbed the Warners and escorted them out.

"They'll be back," Zack sighed.

"Do you think _I_ don't know that?" snapped Scratchansniff. Then he realized his mistake. "I'm sorry. Does yesterday make you feel better than the time those female robots seduced the whole police except you?"

* * *

><p><em>Two weeks ago, there were a whole population sexy women walking about Washington. They all went to a cop to pretend to ask for help when they were actually trying to seduce them. Cops on the street, cops in their cars, the entire police station – even the Superintendent was seduced – and with the female cops tied up wherever they were, no cop could resist them. When they say no one, they usually mean one – and that one was Sergeant Zack O'Marrows. A woman approached him, but for some reason, he was not seduced and pulled the beautiful wig of her head and saw sparkles coming out of her head. He saw more women coming. He went around the queue and ran to find out where they were coming.<em>

* * *

><p><em>He found them coming out of a laboratory. He entered it, pushed his way through the marching women and entered the experiment room. There he saw the staff members were unconscious and an active machine was producing a lot of women.<em>

_"Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Pinky?" asked a deep voice._

_"I think so, Brain," said a squeaky voice, "but how will there be enough dresses for all these women?"_

_"No, Pinky!" snapped the deep voice. "We are nearly close to – "_

_"Taking over the world?" Zack cried._

_A tall thin lab mouse appeared on the top of the machine. "Egad, Brain!" cried Pinky. "We've got a guest!"_

_"Pinky, someone we don't want is not a guest!" snapped the deep voice. "He's an intruder!"_

_A short lab mouse one drew out a large laser gun at him._

_"I am trying to take over the world, so please leave," the Brain told him._

_"Shoot me, because I'm not leaving," smiled Zack smugly._

_"Very well." Brain fired the gun and out of it came a giant red laser beam. It got closer to Zack and closer and closer… Then Zack got a mirror which deflected the beam and it targeted towards the machine._

_"Oh, no!" cried Brain. "Pinky, move!"_

_"Where, Brain?" asked Pinky._

_Brain just grabbed Pinky as they jumped clear from the machine, which exploded. Brain's women stopped moving and their wires went haywire._

_Brain and Pinky ran for their lives as fast as they could. But they bumped into a black shoe and were picked up by a large hand. _

_"Why they call you the Brain is beyond my knowledge as I have just defeated you," Zack smiled smugly at Brain. Then he turned to Pinky. "Why they call you Pinky as you are _not_ pink but white as snow I will never know. The only thing I know is that this experiment to try and take over the world will be your last."_

_"O'Marrows!" cried Thompson's voice. Zack turned to see Thompson and Pan at the door. "What are you doing?"_

_The knocked-out staff members were up on their feet and the chief scientist walked to Zack. "You saved my lab mice, sir," he praised, taking them off Zack. He put them in the nearest cage. Zack towered above them._

_"You may have defeated me this time, my enemy," Brain said to Zack, "but I will back and I will take over the world next time."_

_"Yeah, after sixty-five episodes and thirteen episodes living with Elmyra Duff of failing to do so, I'm sure you will," scoffed Zack._

_"O'Marrows, stop playing with the mice!" yelled Thompson. "Help me get ready for the press conference." _

_"I've got my eye on you two," warned Zack, as he walked away. _

_Zack left the room with Thompson, Pan and the scientists. _

_"So what do you want to do for the rest of the day, Brain?" asked Pinky._

_"Same thing we do every time my plans for taking over the world fail, Pinky – think of another one!" answered Brain. _

* * *

><p>"Well, it does a little bit," Zack told Scratchansniff.<p>

"Are you still upset about this mermaid of your dreams is still in your head?" asked the doctor.

"We'll help!" cried Yakko and Wakko as they walked in the room.

Zack saw that Wakko had a device in his hand labelled 'Dream Remover'. It looked like a bike pump with a plunger on it.

"We'll pull the mermaid out of your head," Yakko told Zack. He put the plunger on Zack's head and Wakko started pumping.

"STOP!" shouted a girl's voice.

Everyone stopped but they couldn't see anyone. Then, next to Zack, appeared Dot wearing a mermaid's pink tail. She lied on the sofa like a mermaid.

"Is this how your mermaid acted?" Dot asked seductively. "Because you could move on, you know."

"No offense, Dot," said Zack, "but you're too… young for me." The Warners gave him a disappointed look. Zack had to come up with something. "I meant you're too young for dating, that is."

"Do I look like I'm six to you?" snapped Dot angrily.

"Yes, so let's forget the whole dating thing!" snapped Scratchansniff. He whistled and Ralph came in to take the Warners away.

"Unless you find your mermaid, I don't know how else you will feel better," Scratchansniff told Zack.

"I don't know how to find my girlfriend either," confessed Zack. "I met her when my best friend the sorcerer found her first. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have met her and never have known true love." Zack got off the sofa and gave the doctor cash. "Thank you for your time, Dr. Scratchansniff."

Zack walked out and passed the beautiful nurse. "Hello, Nurse!" Zack greeted like Yakko and Wakko.

"Hi, Zack," greeted the Nurse. "How are you doing?"

"Well, I know what I have to do, but what I don't know is if I can do it," replied Zack.

"Well, you are strong and brave and…"  
>"I meant it's impractical," interrupted Zack. "So how are you doing?"<p>

"Hello, Nurse!" cried Yakko and Wakko from behind the corridor. Hello Nurse looked at Zack and pointed behind her. Zack knew what she meant.

"Hey, where are you, you stupid Warner trespassers!" shouted Ralph's voice.

The Warner Siblings ran past Hello Nurse and Zack and hid under the rug on the carpet.

"Hey, you guys wouldn't have seen any Warner siblings, would ya?" asked Ralph.

"I have," replied Zack. "You'll find them…" He looked behind to check that Ralph didn't notice them under the rug. "… crawling through those air ducts."

"Thank you, sir," said Ralph. Then he pulled the cover off and climbed into the ceiling.

The Warners appeared out of the rug.

"Thanks, Zack!" smiled Dot.

"What do we own this pleasure?" asked Yakko.

"Keep this lark up, guys," said Zack, holding a lark bird high on his arm. "It's the only thing that makes my visits here very enjoyable. And my life happy."

Zack began to walk away.

"Don't give up, Zack," cried Hello Nurse. "I'm sure you'll find your mermaid friend and you'll live happily ever after."

"Thanks, Hello Nurse," smiled Zack, but that didn't make him feel confident. Then he walked out of the psychiatrist building that was in Washington D.C.

* * *

><p>Thaddeus Plotz was in his office doing his paperwork, when Ralph fell from the roof and landed on Plotz's desk.<p>

"Ralph, what are you doing climbing up through the ducts?" shouted Plotz.

"I was trying to catch the Warners, boss," explained Ralph. "Dr. Scratchansniff's patient told me they would be in the air ducts."

"And all this for a cameo after fifteen years?" snapped Plotz. "This is definitely not worth twenty thousand bucks. I should be paid twenty million bucks for all of this!"

* * *

><p>Soon Zack was walking through the Franklin Delano Roosevelt Memorial Park. Then an acorn fell on his head. He picked it up.<p>

"Sorry, Zack!" cried a kid's voice. "It just fell out of my hand."

Zack looked up to see a young brown squirrel on the tree. "Here you go, Skippy!" Zack cried, as he threw the acorn back.

"Thanks!" smiled Skippy as he waved to Zack.

"Skippy!" snapped an old lady's voice. Skippy turned around to see his aunt Slappy behind him. "I sent you out to pick acorns and you're making friends with – " She looked down and saw Zack. "Are you a real cop?"

"No, Ma'am!" cried Zack. "I'm an extra in the latest _Police Academy 8_!"

"Oh, great!" moaned Slappy. "Just when I thought all those garbage sequels were in the bin for good!"

"You've got a lot of gut talking about garbage in a cameo like this!" scoffed a smug Zack.

Slappy didn't know what to say. "He's right!" she moaned. "I haven't made a cameo for fifteen years. Why am I doing it now?"

"Now that's comedy," Zack said to the audience.

* * *

><p>Zack walked past the Vietnam Veterans Memorial. He had a cheese and onion sandwich that he bought. He took a bite but it tasted horrible.<p>

Then he heard voices arguing. He looked up at the Memorial and saw the Goodfeathers on the top and being loud.

"If I don't eat soon, I shall eat myself!" yelled Pesto.

"Now we don't want that," said Squit.

Then a sandwich was tossed up to them. They looked down to see Zack.

"Enjoy it, you dinosaurs!" cried Zack. He walked on, but then Pesto got in his face.

"What do you mean, dinosaur?" he demanded.

"All birds descended from dinosaurs and you're a bird," Zack explained.

"Are you saying that I'm a dangerous creature with sharp teeth and a bad attitude?"

"Yes, I am," smiled a cheeky Zack.

When Pesto turned around, Bobby and Squit flew in front of Zack. "Go on, get out of here, Zack," Bobby told him.

"We'll take the beatings," whispered Squit.

"But _I_ said it," Zack told them.

"You said the only thing no bird or any other creature can say to Pesto," Bobby told him. "Now go!"  
>Zack left.<p>

"Hey, Pesto, I'm the one who told him that," said Squit.

"You told him that? That's it!" shouted Pesto as he charged for poor Squit as always.

* * *

><p>Later Zack was sitting by the waterfalls. He looked at the water and every time he did it was like he was with his girlfriend Diamond the mermaid. But today he thought he could see her in the water or something like her. He took a closer look.<p>

"Hey, Zack," asked a soft gentle voice. Zack gasped and fell in. He picked himself up and saw Minerva Mink standing in front of him.

"Sorry I scared you," Minerva said, leaning closer to him. "Perhaps I could dry you off back at my place?"

Zack got out of the water. "Sorry, Minerva," he said, "but I'm a cop; I wouldn't give you enough time as much as you like and you don't want to even think about getting into a relationship like that."  
>Minerva jumped onto him, wrapped her arms around him and kissed him. "I don't."<p>

Zack had to come up with something good to get away from Minerva. He looked around and saw some beautiful purple flowers next to him. He put her on the rocks near the waterfalls.

"Minerva, stay on this rock and close your eyes," Zack told her. "I've got a surprise for you."

Minerva closed her eyes and kept them shut for a long time. "Can I open my eyes now?" she asked. She opened her eyes anyway and saw the purple flowers next to her. She smelled them and smiled.

"Maybe he's too shy to admit his feelings for me," Minerva thought to herself.

* * *

><p>Zack entered the docks, carrying a takeaway box.<p>

He entered a rusty little ship. "Rita! Runt! I've come with my share of the rent," he cried.

"Oh, boy!" Runt the dog jumped on Zack and licked his face. Then he went to into the takeaway box and started eating.

"Oh, boy, indeed," sighed Rita the cat, showing herself.

"Oh, boy, _not_ indeed," said Zack, getting out a bottle of milk and a fish. He chucked it to the singing cat.

"How's our_ Animaniacs _friends doing, Zack?" she asked.

"They're doing fine," said Zack. "Ever since you guys moved here from Burbank, everything's been fine."

"Well, you're not," said Rita.

"Well, I'm keeping the streets safe, which is what Otto is telling me to happy about," said Zack. "Plus I'm living in a rusty but home-like ship. We don't have to worry about money problems. And who needs entertainment when I have you two wonderful toon characters?"

"Probably Mindy," pointed out Rita, looking through the window.

Zack turned around to see Mindy outside the ship.

"Oh, this is the seventh time this month," groaned Zack. "Along with the hundred and twenty-nine times since I came here to America."

Zack went outside. "Hi, Mindy," he greeted.

"Hi, Officer," Mindy greeted back. "Why are you here?"  
>"This is where I live," replied Zack.<p>

"Why?" asked Mindy.

"Because I choose to live here."  
>"Why?"<br>"Because everyone's got to live somewhere."  
>"Why?"<p>

"To protect themselves from rough weather and somewhere to relax and rest."  
>"Why?"<br>Zack was getting fed up with these 'why's and he got out another rusty barrel. "Let me put you in here and you'll see 'why'." He picked up Mindy and put her in the barrel. Then her dog, Buttons, came to her.

"She's in here, pal," Zack told Buttons. "I put her in here so you can take her back home before you mistress comes back."

Buttons gave him a 'thank you' lick and dragged the barrel away.

"You're welcome again," smiled Zack.

Then he saw someone walking in a nearby restaurant. He looked very familiar to Zack. And he decided to follow.

* * *

><p>He walked to a fast food restaurant called Deep Fry Fats, where it served a lot of fried fish and French fries.<p>

It had a stage in it and the sign said 'Live Tonight: Ben Stiller and his British rival'. On the stage were Ben Stiller and Ben Miller in front of a red curtain.

"So what do want to do tonight, Miller?" asked Stiller.

"How about I make you and all your fellow Americans my slaves for my new British Empire?" said Miller.

"Now why would a Hollywood actor like _moi_ want to be a slave to an actor who has not had his own show like me?" asked Stiller. "You only had half a show, while the other one, Alex Armstrong, had the funnier half."

Miller got out a hammer and hit Stiller on the head.

"You may be a Hollywood star, but I still prefer Armstrong to you, Stiller!" snapped Miller.

"Why?" groaned Stiller. "What's special about him? Is the footprint on the moon his?"

On table eighteen stood Dexter Douglas with his laptop.

"Is this seat taken, pal?" asked a voice.

Dexter looked up and shook hands with the person very happily. "Zack! How are you, my old friend? Sit down!"

Zack sat down.

"Wow!" exclaimed Dexter. "You're a Police Sergeant?"  
>"And just under nine months since I graduated from Harvard," Zack told him. "So, Dexter, how's your business going? It's been about three years since you left Harvard and a lot more years since Freakazoid made an appearance."<p>

"Well, I do miss being Freakazoid," said Dexter, "but you know you're the only one who knows I'm Freakazoid so my family kept forcing me to study for university. And my company is doing very well. Dougless Computer Inc. makes more money every year. Besides I saw you took my old friend Sgt. Mike Cosgrove's training course and you did so well, I could say you were like the new Freakazoid."

"Thanks, Dex," sighed Zack. "That's the biggest complintment I've had ever since I came to America."

Then the ground beneath them shook like mad. Everyone in the restaurant screamed and left.

"Is that an earthquake?" asked Zack.

"I don't think so," thought Dexter. "It feels like a machine underneath."

Zack looked at him. "Come on, just like old times?"

Dexter sighed. "All right. I'm freakin' out!"

For the first time after many years, Zack saw Freakazoid in front of him.

"Hiya, Zack!" greeted Freakazoid, shaking him like mad. "How have you been? Found your girlfriend yet?"

"No," repiled Zack. "My police career hasn't been any fun without you around. Not to mention your friend Sgt. Cosgrove has retired and I don't like the new officers in his place."

"Well, all they need is a bit of old school," said Freakazoid, wearing a teacher's hat and robes. He also held a school cane. "So, come on, let's go down there and teach whoever it is some manners."

Zack happily followed Freakazoid out.

* * *

><p>Outside on the docks, the ground was shaking. Despite the shakiness, Zack could see the rest of Washington wasn't shaking.<p>

Then he and Freakazoid could see a large underground tunnel coming closer to them.

"It must be a large rabbit monster," said Freakazoid. "Well, I'm going to show him who's boss." He put on a black top hat with the word 'BOSS!' on it.

The ground got shakier and shakier. Up above Freakazoid was standing under the Deep Fry Fats sign. It fell off and hit him on his head.

"I think, Zack, I'm a little out of practice," groaned Freakazoid. "Give me a few minutes to get myself sorted out." Then he went out.

"Take all the time you need," muttered Zack sarcastically.

Zack didn't know what to do. He didn't what was underneath, he had no weapons at all and now he had no friend or colleague to help him. He looked at the tunnel coming closer to him and closer and closer and then –


	6. Buster's Guide to Stealing

"What?" Zack couldn't believe his eyes.

Out of the tunnel shot up a little blue rabbit dressed in a tuxedo. "Help! Help!" he cried.

Behind the rabbit was a giant metal machine that represented a giant mole with a vicious face and sharp claws. It charged for the rabbit, but it was greeted by water. The water was coming out of a hose pipe that was held by Zack. The machine went into sparkles and collapsed to the ground. Some CGI soldiers ran out of the machine. Zack aimed the hose at them. The soldiers dropped their weapons and put their hands up.

"Hi, guys," smiled Zack smugly. "Go back to your leader and tell him that Zack is back!"

The soldiers quickly pressed a button on their left arm and they teleported away like Power Rangers.

Zack turned to the blue bunny. "So, what happened, Buster?"

"The name is Bust," replied the blue rabbit. "James Bust."

Zack didn't buy that. He walked behind the bunny. "So, Mr. Bust, you wouldn't happen to know where Buster Bunny is, would you?" He stripped the tux off and the blue bunny was wearing his red jumper.

"All right, you got me, officer," sighed Buster.

"No, he hasn't!" cried another voice. "Don't worry, Buster! We'll save you!"

Zack and Buster looked up to see Plucky Duck and Hamton Pig in the sky charging for Zack in kung-fu style.

The policeman grabbed the legs of Plucky and Hamton. "And who are you guys suppose to be?" he asked them.

"I'm Chatter and this is my Chinese friend, Gee," Plucky replied.

"I didn't choose that name," explained Hamton. "We're spoofing _Rush Hour_."

Zack let go of them. "So the main male characters of _Tiny Toons_ are here. Where are your girlfriends?"

The boys gave an I-don't-know look. Then Zack could smell something. He followed it to three rusty upside-down barrels, which were standing on a plank. Zack stamped the other end of the plank, sending the barrels over. They landed next to the boy toons. Out of the barrels appeared the main female characters of _Tiny Toons Adventures_. They were dressed in _Charlie's Angels_ uniforms.

"Thanks for releasing your odor, Fifi," smiled Zack, walking to them.

"I am, how do you say,_sensation de faiblesse_," moaned a purple skunk with a French accent.

"Where are we?" asked the pink rabbit in a Jaclyn Smith voice. Then she turned to Zack. "You're going down!"

"Cut it out, Babs," scoffed Zack. "You haven't even got a vocal fold of Jaclyn Smith."

"Isn't the docks, like, supposed to be supervised by highly trained people?" moaned a blonde loon.

The pink rabbit turned to Buster. "Look here, Buster Bunny!" she snapped. "I always said your goofing off would get you into trouble, but this – "

"That wasn't him!" cried Zack. "It was me. And I take it you girls are a squad called Bunny's Angels? Let me guess your identities." He turned to the white loon. "Shirley the Loon." He turned to the skunk. "Fifi La Fume." Then he turned to the pink rabbit. "And last, but not least, Babs Bunny."

The girl toons got out of the barrels. Babs charged for Buster. "All right, Buster! It's time you told everyone what's going on! You've been avoiding us for a very long – "

"Babs, you're still, like, a fair distance away from him," Shirley pointed out.

Babs stopped and saw that she was right. She was moving her legs, but it was like she was on a treadmill. Everyone was confused, but this reminded Zack of his best friend, Eric Epic the sorcerer.

"Maybe I can't do this alone," thought Babs. She turned to her friends. "Maybe if we go together, we can find out what's happening. Come on!"

They ran to Buster, but they were pushed back into thin air as if they had stepped on a mine.

"Any explanation at all, Shirley?" asked Babs.

"There must be, like, an invisible force-field protecting Buster that he has just found," Shirley thought.

"Look!" exclaimed Hamton. Everyone saw that Zack walked behind Buster and lifted his red jumper off. It was revealed that on the blue bunny's stomach was the shape of an orb.

"Just what is so powerful about a tattoo?" asked Babs.

"Well, the fact that it's not a tattoo, but a magic orb and I'm immune to it, in case any of you was wondering," said Zack.

"How are you immune to magic?" asked Plucky.

"I had a friend who taught me about stuff like this and how to avoid it," explained Zack.

"And that's where I'm going," Buster told everyone. "I have to deliver it to a wizard." No one really believed him. "I know you wouldn't buy that, if it didn't even cost a penny, so I posted my latest cartoon on Youtube."

Zack got out his phone and tapped on his Youtube app. He clicked on New and top of the list was _Buster's Guide to Stealing_.

The other toons gathered around Zack as he tapped on it.

* * *

><p><em>The cartoon started. Buster appeared out of his hole. "Hiya, Toonsters," he greeted. "So you want to know about stealing, do you? Well, here's rule number one: Don't do it! Just be grateful for what you've got. Don't let the new expensive stuff get the better of you. Don't let the look of people who seems to have a lot of better stuff than you take over your mind! And don't let anyone talk you into it!"<em>

_Then a green flash appeared next to his hole. Out of the smoke appeared six characters. They looked familiar to the Looney Tunes, only more futuristic. _

_"Nice time jump, Tech," smiled the male rabbit called Ace Bunny at the coyote._

_"Well, if I do say so myself," said Tech E. Coyote, "I think I did excellent for the first test."_

_"Especially since I don't know why we had to come here in the first place," moaned the duck known as Danger Duck._

_"We're here because a wizard from the British Isles will make a big mistake by trying to get rid of his magic, but instead he will release it into the world," said the female bunny called Lexi Bunny. "That's where the magic monsters from our time will come from and we will never defeat them unless we find the secret orb – the Acme Orb."_

_"Well, we only have thirty minutes to find it and take it before we are forced to return to our time," Tech pointed out._

_Rev Runner, the road runner-like creature, spotted Buster next to his hole. He speeded to him. "Hey-kid-you-wouldn't-know-where-the-Acme-Mountain-is-would-you, huh?"_

_Buster had to take a few seconds to catch what Rev said to him. "Yes, I do," he finally replied. "Follow me, you guys, whoever you guys are."  
>"We're the Loonatics, kid," Ace told him. "We're from the future and we're in kind of a hurry."<em>

* * *

><p><em>Buster led the Loonatics to the mountain, which was a five-minute hop. They were on a ledge of a hill opposite to it. At the bottom of the mountain, there were CGI soldiers patrolling it. They had a large CGI machine drilling through the feet of the mountain.<em>

_"How do we get past them?" asked Ace._

_Slam Tasmanian muttered a few words, but the other Loonatics disagree with him._

_"The moment you show them your presence, Slam," Lexi said, "they will come on top of you."_

_"Then we must come on top of _them_," thought Duck._

_"Just how do you suppose we do that, Duck?" asked Ace._

_"This!" Duck vanished._

_"No!" screamed Ace._

_The Loonatics looked down at the CGI soldiers at the bottom and they were getting pushed down. Then Duck was seen lying on the floor both by the Loonatics and the CGI soldiers._

_"Whoops! I must have hit my invisible pack by mistake," said a sheepish Duck._

_"What-do-we-do-now?" asked Rev. "All-our-covers-have-been-blown!"_

_"And we have only fifteen minutes left," Tech pointed out._

_"What we could distract the soldiers away from the mountain, while one enters it and find the orb," suggested Lexi._

_Ace turned to Buster. "Hey, Buster, the legend says if you do this job, you will get the greatest reward of all time."_

_"The coolest video game ever?"_

_"Hmm, maybe. But if you do this job, you will save the world and become a hero."_

_"Okay, I'll do it," Buster said. Then he turned to his 'Toonsters'. "Now, Toonsters, if rule one doesn't work, here's rule number two: Make sure that no one is around where you want to steal. Like these bad guys the Loonatics are clearing away for me."_

_The Loonatics was busy getting the soldiers to chase them._

_"Rule number three: When the coast is clear," Buster went on, waiting for a giant tidal wave to past, "go for it!" The blue bunny jumped down to the ground and entered the mountain where they had been drilling. _

* * *

><p><em>Buster grabbed a lighting torch and walked through the mountain.<em>

_"Okay, rule number four: Be on the alert for traps," Buster told the Toonsters. "You may never know what may happen."_

_He stopped and looked like he was groaning. "Oh, I don't feel good," he moaned. "I'm going to – " It looked like he was going to gag, but instead he let a great big burp. "It was a gag after all, get it?" he chuckled. "But even that is unpredictable."_

_He entered the middle of the mountain and found a shiny white orb on an altar with rocky stairs. He tip-toed over the slates, walked on the steps steadily and slowly and he checked no one was around to see what he was doing. He reached for the orb and then everything went white and everything went clear again._

_A confused Buster looked around to see that everything is the same. He looked under his shirt and saw that there was an orb shape on his chest. "Now that's weird," he muttered. "I like weird."_

_He walked down the stairs and began to walk back out, when the ground was shaking. He turned to see a CGI metal mole machine appearing from the ground. _

_"Rule number five: If someone does see you, RUN! Or, better, HOP!" Buster jumped into the ground and started running underground. The nose on the machine was a digger drill and was chasing him. _

_Buster's phone rang. He answered it. "Hello?"_

_"Buster, tell me you have the orb," Ace said on the other side._

_"I do, Ace," said Buster, "and they're chasing me!"_

_"Tech, can we do something?" asked Ace on the other side._

_"Sorry, Ace, we have about ten seconds left," sighed Tech. "When we get back, it will take me a couple of hours at least to get enough power to come back here."  
>"Sorry, Buster," sighed Ace. "You're on your own now. You must take the orb to the wizard. It's thought to be around near the British Isles. We'll be back whenever we can. But, in the meanwhile, good luck!"<em>

_Buster's phone went dead. He focused on his digging his way out. He quickly turned to his Toonsters. "Rule number six: Let no one else know about this!"_

* * *

><p>Then the cartoon ended.<p>

Zack turned to Plucky and Hamton. "How did you guys become involved in this?"

"Well," began Plucky, "there were those CGI soldiers that were attacking our school and I was the only one brave enough to – "

"Plucky!" warned the other toons.

"Hamton, in your own time," Zack said.

"When is it my time?" asked Hamton. "It's half past four."

"I meant please tell me the story as soon as possible," Zack explained.

* * *

><p><em>Outside the Warner Bros. studios, the place was busier than ever. But if you were to ask anyone who was the busiest, they would say themselves, especially Plucky Duck and Hamton J. Pig.<em>

_"Hamton, where's my lemonade?" snapped Plucky. "I ask for one only thing from my personal assistant, while Daffy asks me for a lot of things."_

_Hamton quickly gave him a glass of lemonade. "Gee, I thought you would be happy," Hamton said. "You're working with your idol, you're his assistant and you're getting in the scenes with him."_

_"Hamton, my faithful assistant, I _am_ happy," smiled Plucky. "The only thing is that Shirley isn't interested in me anymore! I invite her and introduce her to my new rich apartment but it doesn't interest her! I need a vacation."_

_"This is only your second day," Hamton told him._

_Then below them a large rabbit tunnel passed through. "Keep breathing! Keep breathing!"_

_"Gee, that sounded like Buster," said Hamton._

_"That blue long-eared rodent is trying to steal back his glory? Forget it! It's my turn now!" shouted Plucky. "I've waited for so long and worked so hard for this. Nothing's gonna make me wanna change my mind."  
>"Hey, Plucky, I've waited two hours for a coffee!" Daffy called from the studio. "I want a word with you in five minutes."<br>"Oh, dear!" cried a panicking Plucky. "I'm going to be told off. There must be something else we can do to avoid him."_

_Hamton was already on his bike, following the rabbit tunnel. Plucky, on his bike, overtook him. "I'll lead!" the green duck snapped._

_Then they followed it until they came to the docks…_

…and Zack knew the rest. Then he turned to the girls. "All right, let's hear the ladies," he said.

"Well…" began Babs.

* * *

><p><em>At the Acme Park, Babs was reading and Shirley was mediating. "Oh, what a loon I am," she chanted.<em>

_Babs put her book down. "Oh, our afternoons used to be fun," she moaned._

_"Well, we only live, like, once," Shirley said. "So I said we should move on. And we did. Although I do miss Fowlmouth and Plucky trying to compete over me. Now Plucky thinks he's so such a big shot because he's an assistant to the new star of Warner Brothers, Daffy Duck."_

_Then Fifi came to them. She looked worn out and in a mess._ _"_Bonjour, les filles_. Sorry I am late.__"_

_"What's happened to you?" asked Babs._

_"Oh, I am…" Fifi tried to think of something. "How do you say… Great!"_

_"Are you sure, like, your new famous and handsome boyfriend hasn't been dancing you so much that you're bruised and hurt?" Shirley asked._

_"No, I have finally found my true love," said Fifi. "I am dating _le plus célèbre _skunk dancer on the planet, Alex Jackson."_

_"Just because he's a blonde skunk doesn't he's your true love," Babs pointed out._

_Fifi got angry. "What do you mean by zat?"_

_"I just meant by the… blonde bit," Babs said._

_"Oh, you got right to tell me about my true love when _your_ relationship with Buster is troubled," snapped Fifi._

_"You know what he did!" Babs snapped. _

_Then they were all in the air and back on the ground, landing on a giant rabbit tunnel. _

"_Help! Help!" cried a voice._

"_Buster?" Babs was surprised. "What's he doing now?"_

_Shirley put her head on the tunnel. "According to what I can hear under this tunnel, it's a digging machine like digging very fast. It's probably chasing Buster or whoever it is."_

"_Well, count me out!" snapped Babs. "Nothing is going to make me wanna go after – "_

"_Ohh, three cute girly curly pets for me to take home to hug and kiss and love you!" cried Elmyra Duff from the other side of the park._

"_On the other hand," said Babs, looking at her left hand. "RUN!" She jumped into the tunnel, followed by Fifi and Shirley._

_Elmyra tried to jump in, but it was blocked off and she felt her head._

_"Oh, I hit a metal pipe," groaned Elmyra._

* * *

><p>"…and then we finally came here and we sneakily dressed up as – " Babs stopped when she saw that everyone was asleep. She screamed very loudly, but no one heard it because a cruise horn took over the screaming.<p>

Zack and the guys woke up. They saw the cruise approaching the docks.

"That's the ticket!" Buster exclaimed, walking to it. "I just go on the cruise and get to British Isles and – "

He was caught off by Babs. "You're not going anywhere, mister! Not without me!"  
>"And just who put <em>you<em> in charge?" snapped Buster.

"Yeah, I agree!" said Plucky, putting on a captain's hat on. "Sailing ships through rough seas are my speciality."

"You can never totally find your way from school to your house!" pointed out Shirley. "My powers will get us there in no time."

"How about givin' a skunk a chance?" snapped Fifi.

Everyone was arguing, until they noticed the only one who wasn't was Hamton. He was just standing there looking at them.

"What?" he asked. "I don't wanna be a leader."  
>"Then you get to pick one," Buster told him.<p>

"Okay." Hamton looked around and pointed his finger out. He moved it along. "I pick… Sergeant O'Marrows!"

Zack was walking away. Then he stopped suddenly. He turned to face them. "Oh, no," he said modestly. "I couldn't."

"You're a police sergeant, aren't you?" asked Hamton.

"Do you not mess your home country?" asked Fifi.

"I'd say you're so totally have leadership skills just by looking at you," Shirley pointed out.

"All right, here are my qualifications," Zack said, as he got out the papers.

Babs, wearing her glasses and putting on an unemployment agent's suit, took the papers and read them. "Wow!" she exclaimed. "An all A+ student from high school. And what a Harvard man! Degrees from Law School, Business School and School of Engineering and Applied Sciences. Oh, and it says here that you were part of Harvard's football team and you beat Yale for three years. You're hired!"

"Okay," said Zack, "but I just want you guys to know that I'm not one of those protagonists that pretends to be a hero and later reveals to be a fraud. We're not going to have _that_ kind of story."

The toons nodded, agreeing to that.

"Now let's get on this cruise!" Zack ordered, leading them.

They were walking to the cruise when a hurrying man bumped into Zack.

"Careful, mate," said Zack, as he helped the man up.

"I'm sorry, mate," said the man, looking at Zack.

Zack couldn't believe his eyes. "Are you Johnny Depp?" he asked. "Where are you going?"

"Well," said Johnny Depp. "I was supposed to take a cruise, although I'm not sure which one is which."

Zack looked ahead and saw that there were now two cruises standing there. Both captains were standing out there. They looked very much like Johnny.

"Hi, Mr. Depp," greeted the captains.

"Which cruise are you taking?" asked Zack. "The Disney Cruise Line or the new Warner Bros. cruise?"

"Let me just check my tickets," said Johnny.

The captain of the Disney Cruise wearing a uniform that looks a lot of Johnny's character, Captain Jack Sparrow from _Pirates of the Caribbean_, walked to Johnny. "Mr. Depp, my ship can offer you cheap food and the most exotic location you can go to, under the command of Captain Jack Sparrow XII, which is me. Savvy?"

"Cheap?" cried the other captain. "On my cruise you get a lot of free food and less strict rules. And I bet that the Warner Bros. Cruise under the command of Captain Mack Burrow, which is _Moi,_ can go even further than Disney can. Suvvy?"

"And what's your name, sonny?" asked Captain Jack. "And where are you planning to go to?"

"My name is Zack O'Marrows," replied Zack. Then he turned to Johnny. "I was born before your _Pirates of the Caribbean_ movies, Johnny, so don't think I got the name from you."

Johnny sighed. "Why is it always Captain Jack Sparrow? Am I being type-casted?"

"No, you're not," said Buster, who has dressed up like Edward Scissorhands. He hands even had scissors like Edward. "Meet Buster Scissorhands."

" _Prepare to face the wrath of Babsy Todd _" sang Babs, dressed as Sweeny Todd.

Johnny sighed. He turned to Fifi. "What?" she asked. "I am, how do you say, gulping grapes."

"What's next?" muttered Johnny. He saw a dark coat walking around with no head and duck feet underneath it.

"Can you see my head?" asked Plucky's voice through the coat.

Johnny then turned to see Shirley dressed in green clothing a green hat. "I am so Peter Pan," Shirley told him.

"I didn't play Peter Pan," Johnny told her. "I played his author in the movie _Finding Neverland_."

Johnny then turned to Hamton who looked like a man in a suit with scruffy hair. "Who are you suppose to be?" he asked the pig.

"I'm just showing respect to a great movie director, Jim Curtain," Hamton told him.

"More like making fun of one of my best friends," moaned Johnny.

"Come on, guys," Zack called to the toons. "We're getting on the Warner Bros. cruise." The toons came to him. "This one should get us to Europe and then we'll decide what we do from now on then."

"Pleasure you guys could become our new stewards and stewardesses," smiled Captain Mack. "Under the command of our new chief steward, Zack here."

"Come on, guys," said Zack. "We've got a lot of work to do. We are cleaning every room on every deck."

"WHAT?" The toons couldn't believe what they heard, except a happy Hamton who loved cleaning.

Captain Mack walked on the ramp to his ship. Zack turned to the toons. "Sorry, but, A, this is the only cruise going near the British Isles, B, we'll be look less suspicious and, C, this will be fun. It'll be like James Bond or something like that." The horn went off. "Come on, they'll be setting off soon."

Hamton walked first on the ramp, followed by Shirley, Fifi and Plucky. The bunnies were the last, who were looking annoyed at each other.

"Ladies first, Barbara Ann," said Buster.

Babs glared at him as she stomped forward. Zack didn't like seeing his two favourite _Tiny Toon_ characters treating each other like this, but then he thought this was _their_ business and, as long as it didn't interfere with the mission, it would be best not to interfere it.

Then the cruise sailed off into the sunset.


	7. Rock 'n' Loose

"ERIC!" The Epics had been saying that all day, but, since the first day he lived with them, this was Eric's first day where he actually enjoyed his day with all the commotion. As for his friends Bugs Bunny and his faithful servants, this was the first good day they had in their careers too. Because they found the Orb of Bravery, they were laughing and having fun and keeping their spirits up despite the Epics' bullying.

By dinner time, Jack and his sons were at the dining table waiting for their food. "ERIC!" shouted Jack. "How long does it take for you to cook something?"

"Yeah! Don't you know a spell that will cook everything in about five minutes?" added John.

"FYI," cried an appearing Eric, scaring John whose face fell in the gravy boat, "you've been sitting here for about fifteen seconds and here's your food." He clapped his hands and a giant feast of fruit, vegetables, garlic bread, pizzas, burgers, pork, chicken legs and olive oil and vinegar appeared on the table. Eric blew on the giant red candles in the middle and they lit up. He began to walk away when –

"Hey! Wine!" ordered Jack.

"Oh, I work hard all day," whined Eric in a feebly girly voice. "My friends and I try to impress you and we don't even get paid a – "

"Give me a bottle of Jacob's Creek!" shouted Jack.

Eric slyly pointed to the table and a bottle of red Jacob's Creek appeared in front of Jack. Jack poured it himself and began to drink it.

"Hey, Eric!" shouted Jim. "A bottle for us each!"

Eric pointed each to where Jim and John were sitting and they each got a bottle of red wine. They began to drink it.

Eric muttered a few words and the Epics' heads fell onto the table. They had barely even had a mouthful.

"I take it ya wished them pleasant dreams, Doc?" asked Bugs.

"Yup," replied Eric. "Easy enough for Sleeping Spell No. 45 to work."

"No. 45?" exclaimed Bugs. "Eh, what about, uh, the other 44 spells?"  
>"Not practise them much," answered Eric. "No. 45 is the only sleeping spell I've been good at."<p>

Danny the Dwarf came by for the food. "Can we have a bite before we go to the Island of Talandlent?"

"Talandlent?" said Eric. "The island that where talent was invented?"

"Why not just call it Talent Land?" suggested Bugs. "That would make more sense than usin' anagrams."

"That's where the word 'talent' came from," Eric told him. "And all the other different languages, too, whatever word they use for 'talent'.

"Anyway, that's the island the next orb we have found in the scrolls is on," Danny explained, reaching for an apple without looking. "It's near the British Isles." He opened his mouth and closed it, thinking he's hit a hard apple. He looked down to see that he did _not_ have an apple in his hand or anything in it at all!

"You've had your bite now!" laughed Bugs.

"Very funny!" snapped Danny.

Eric waved his hand and the table was cleared. "That's fake food, Danny," the young sorcerer told him. "I put it there to fool the Epics. But when we go to the island, we'll get a bite to eat, I promise. Now go and get the rest of the guys here."

* * *

><p>Shortly, the rest of the gang arrived.<p>

"Let's get on the table," ordered Eric. They all did. "Now I will chant the spell to get us to this island of Talandlent and, when I clap or stamp or nod, you just copy the same."

"Why's he usin' these nursery rhymes as spells, Choc?" whispered Bugs.

"Because they _are_ the oldest spells, Bugs," replied Choc. "These 'Nursery Rhymes' as you know were once spells that were – "

"Guys, may I begin?" asked Eric.

"Sorry," Bugs and Choc apologized.

Eric chanted the spell and when he clapped and stamped and nodded his head, they all copied him and they vanished into thin air.

Then Jack's eyes opened, his mouth was breathing and his body was picking himself up.

"Wake up, boys!" shouted Jack. No one seemed to hear him. "WAKE UP!"  
>Jim and John quickly woke up.<p>

"It's finally working!" Jack grinned evilly. "Eric is getting the orbs thinking he's going to end our magic including his and, when he gets all of them, we'll steal the orbs and his magic and put it to good use."

"You mean, like make the world fair and more happier and less stress and – " John babbled on.

"No, rule the entire world, you twit!" snapped Jim. Then he turned to Jack. "But, Father, neither he nor we can do anything without the long-hidden Acme Orb."

"That's why you sent your best men to find it, is it not?" said Jack.

The only thing Jim feared was his father. "Yes, sir. Don't worry. They'll find it."

Then lighting appeared behind him. The Epics turned to see three CGI soldiers panting in the dark corner.

"Sergeant, have you found the Acme Orb?" asked Jim.

"We found it," reported the Sergeant. "But we lost it."

"WHAT?" exclaimed Jim.

"James Epic!" yelled Jack. "Are these really your best troops?"  
>"No, sir," sighed Jim. Then he turned to the soldiers. "Tomorrow, you will be sentenced to – "<p>

"But, sir, it wasn't our fault!" pleaded the Sergeant. "We found it, but then came this cartoon blue bunny who took it and we chased him but he was stopped by a policeman who threatened us with a hose pipe – "

"STOP!" yelled Jim. "Blue bunny? Policeman? Did your automatic cameras take any pictures?"

One soldiers pressed a button on his arm. Pictures came out of a slot on the stomach. Jim took them and looked at it. He smiled. "I have a great idea!"

* * *

><p>"Something smells like it's burning plastic," moaned Danny as he, Eric and the rest of his friends were walking through dark woods.<p>

"Can't be," said Choc, surveying the ground. "This ground is made out of clay."

Bugs was digging a hole. "Building homes ain't ever been any easier."

"When you found out that the orb was on this island, Danny, did it say anything about the island at all?" asked Eric.

"All it said was that it was above England," Danny told him.

"Hmm, because I have a funny feeling – " Then Eric looked up to the sky. "Hey, Shou Off! See anything?"

"I see a building about two miles away," reported Shou Off. "It's made out of wood and there are people coming out of it. They looked like clay models but they're moving like people."

Soon they arrived at the wooden inn called The Wood's Inn. They walked in and saw that everything that Shou Off said was true. The people inside was a mixture of large dolls with moving joints and moving clay models.

"I knew it," said Eric. "It's a stop-motion animated island."  
>They went to sit at a table and looked at their menus. Their faces made the food looked promising. They began to like this Inn already. It was large and cosy and warm.<p>

Eric clapped his hands and clay waiters were already around the table. They put the food down on the table. Eric's friends smiled because he had got them the correct food they wanted to eat.

"Beats orderin'," said Bugs, drinking carrot juice. "But, Eric, why can't ya just live here and keep your magic powers here?"

"I tried running away from the Epics once," Eric told him. "I went out to sea to find Zack and Diamond. I spent six months but I couldn't find anything, so when the CGI search party for me finally found me, I gave up and I decided that's why I must end my powers once for all. Besides this is an unknown island – an island that Jack does not know about. If he did, it wouldn't be like this anymore. That's why certain places in the world like this island or that Anime village or your cartoon land in Hollywood are safe from the rule of the evil." Then loud annoying music cut him off. Everyone in the inn covered up their ears.

"But not from annoying music!" moaned Danny.

They all looked ahead to see the band playing on the stage on the other side of the inn. A black robbed guy who looked very much like a Nazgul rider was on the drums. A blonde Fireman Sam-type of elf was playing the guitar. A clay-animated green orc was on the piano. "They're missing one thing," said Choc through the loud noise.

"The lead singer," said Eric and Bugs together.

There was a black microphone on a stand unused. Then behind it singing came out of it.

" Dip-a-dough-in-soup " sang a female voice. " Sip-a-lemonade " Something bright and sparkling came above the microphone. It was a Postman Pat-like type of animation fairy! She was a black fairy with blonde hair and white wings. She was wearing a purple dress. " By the way, check out the hay for you long-faced horses " She sang the last words out of tune.

"Amazing!" muttered Sweet Corn sarcastically. "Ripping off one of the greatest songs of all time."

"Eh, it's a Disney song, Sweet Corn," said Bugs, "and as this is a Warner Bros. story, we can take the Mickey Mouse outta them."

"Oh, yeah," said Sweet Corn.

"Eric, can we take this food as takeaways?" asked Danny.

"Let me think," said Eric, putting his finger on his chin. Then all the food on the plates was now in cardboard takeaway boxes and their drinks were in plastic cups.

* * *

><p>Eric and his friends walked out of the Inn. They had just starting walking away when they heard the door at the Inn opened and three figures flew past and landed in front of them. It was the band! Eric and Bugs helped them up.<p>

"Don't give up, guys," said Eric kindly. "Like Rocky Balboa says, 'Winning is all about how hard you can get hit and keep moving on, not how hard you hit.'"

"Thanks, mate," said the orc, putting out his hand. "The name's Ugster."

Eric shook his hand. "My name is Eric Epic," he said, as he took his arm away. But Ugster was still shaking hands with Eric's arm! He was holding a plastic arm.

"What? How did you – "

"I'm a sorcerer," Eric told him.

"Wow!" exclaimed Ugster. "I thought the sorcerers were – "

"Rare!" interrupted the elf. "No one has seen one for years. Not on this island anyway."

Eric began to think about what they had just said, but he shook it out of his head and focused on the present. "Anyway, my friends and I have come to find a magic orb on this island somewhere."

"You mean the ultimate prize of winning the Mount Rock Stadium Battle of the Bands competition judged by Rock Lord Cliff Griff tomorrow?" said Ugster. "You need to be a band to even get into Mount Rock Stadium."

"Well, we'll do you a deal," said Eric. "We come with you to Mount Rock Stadium, you get into the battle of the bands and if you win, we will take the orb and you will become famous and successful."  
>"Eh, Eric, why don't you use a spell to make all of that work?" suggested Trolley.<p>

"Because, Trolley, A: That spell won't work on this Cliff Griff, B: I don't like using those spells; it makes me feel like I'm no better than the Epics and C: this chapter will end quickly and the readers will stop reading the rest of the story."

"Oh, that makes sense," said Trolley.

"We forgot one thing," said Ugster. "We need a singer."  
>"You mean your singer is a waitress?" asked Choc.<p>

"Not anymore," said a female voice.

Everyone turned around to see the fairy behind them.

"You guys going without me?" she said to her band.

"No way, Michelle," said Ugster. "We couldn't go without our First Lady."

"And who are our new friends here?" asked Michelle.

"I'm Eric Epic, Sorcerer and Manager of… whatever you guys call yourself," Eric told them. "Meet Sweet Corn, your new roadie. Danny, your security guard. Shou Off, your new transport. Choc, your new stylist. And Bugs Bunny, your agent.

"Agent?" exclaimed a surprised Bugs.

"Well, I'm Michelle," said Michelle, "and you've met Ugster the Keyboard guy, Jeff the guitarist and Dark Robes the drummer."

"What's drumming?" asked Dark Robes, the black robed creatures. His voice didn't sound menacing at all, but Eric's friends were still suspicious of him.

"And we're called – um, er…" Michelle couldn't think of a name for the band.

"Well, you can think of a name as you practise on our way to Mount Rock Staduim," said Eric. "Now's let's rock 'n' roll!"

He started to walk when rocks were rolling pass him and his friends and the band were rolling on them.

"We've got a long way to go!" Eric sighed as he carried on walking.

"Eh, we'll get there," smiled Bugs as he put his hand on Eric's shoulder.

* * *

><p>Wild animals like deers, bears, owls, ducks and many others creatures (animated as if they were from Cosgrove Hall) were enjoying the gorgeous sunshine, the tasty river and the delicious greens. That was before horrible music was in the air and they got scared and frightened.<p>

"It's hunters in the woods!" cried an owl. "Let's hide!"

And some hid in the trees, some hid under them and the big ones like the deers ran further to hide somewhere else.

The hiding animals had a peek to see who was coming. When they saw that the trespassers were just the band playing annoying music, they were really mad. They all got out.

"Hey!" shouted the owl.

The band went on, but Eric stayed behind.

"We're trying to enjoy a little peace here!" the owl went on. "Cut the racket!"

"Okay!" Bugs held a tennis racket and he cut it with a pair of scissors.

"We'll get out of your sight now," said Eric. "Sorry to disturb you."

"We'd better not see or hear from you again," warned the owl, "especially on Stop Mo FM!"

"What?" said Eric and Bugs together.  
>A squirrel got out a green wooden radio and turned it on. "This is Jackel Muck and this is Stop Mo FM. We will be now playing <em>I Woke Up to Smoke<em>."

"_I woke up to smoke_…" sang the voice on the radio.

Eric and Bugs rushed off and rejoined the gang.

"Eh, Doc, I know you're tryin' to help me but why am I da agent?" Bugs asked Eric.

"Because you're more famous than we are and you promote a lot of things for Warner Bros, like _Tiny Toon Adventures _for new stars like Buster and Babs Bunny," Eric replied.

"Oh," said Bugs. Then he turned to the audience. "This quest and this story may not make sense, but _he's_ da the only one who makes sense."

* * *

><p>The annoying music from the band went on and on and, by the time they made camp at the bottom of the mountain by nightfall, they were no better.<p>

"All right, let's call it a night," said Eric.

"What sort of night should we call it?" asked Sweet Corn.

"A really chilly night," said a shivering Bugs.

"Well, you're a bunny," said Eric. "Why don't you see if there's a rabbit hotel or motel down below?"

"Why do you think I've been going underground all these times?"  
>"To avoid hearing our garbage music?" said Jeff.<p>

A whistle as loud as a football referee's whistle came out of Eric's mouth. "All right, guys," he said. "Let's calm down and hit the hay."

Everyone got up and started punching bales of hay that were hanging down on ropes from the trees.

"How are we ever goin' to win this contest tomorrow, Doc?" asked Bugs.

"I might be wrong, but I have a special job for you tomorrow, Bugs," said Eric. Bugs's ears rolled up like a rolled-up paper and Eric whispered into his ears. Bugs seemed to like his idea.

"Like I always do," said Bugs.

"Like you always do," said Eric.

* * *

><p>Morning arose and sunshine covered the entire island. It even covered up the top of the mountains, which was where Mount Rock Stadium was.<p>

"I think it's going to be a beautiful day," smiled Eric, as he reached the surface on the mountain.

Bugs, the servants and the band, who were carrying all the equipment, were panting next to Eric.

"Well, _I_ think it's going to be an easy day," said an American voice. They turned to see a squad of stop-motion characters including a boogyman holding a drum kit, a joint snake holding a bass guitar, a thunderbird holding another guitar, a jackalope holding a keyboard and… the Jersey Devil! Holding a microphone! They were greeted by another live-action character wearing the same clothes as Eric.

"And who are you?" asked Eric.

"My name is Eric Epic," said the man in an American voice. "And we call ourselves Nuclear Meltdown."

"That's awesome!" cried out Trolley. Everyone gave him a glare. "Sorry," he apologized.

"Who are you anyway?" asked the American Eric.

Eric knew he couldn't use his name, so he tried to think of one. Then he got one. "The name is Perry. Terry Perry. And we call ourselves…the Rock Cakes!"

Bugs and the band went 'What?' on their faces.

The American Eric and Nuclear Meltdown laughed their heads off.

"You should call yourselves the Rock Cans," said the American Eric, "because you're all going to be living in one on the street when we win this thing. Lose well!" Then the American Eric and his rock band walked inside the stadium.

Bugs, the servants and their band were nervous.

"We don't deserve to even show our faces in there," moaned Ugster.

"We might as well be dusting a record shop," moaned Daniel.

A loud referee whistle came out of Eric's mouth. "What kind of talk is that? Well, it's not… cool! It's the complete opposite of awesome. We don't want that. We want awesome! What do we want?"

"Awesome!" shouted everyone.

"I can't hear you!" shouted Eric.

"AWESOME!"

"I think I'm going deaf," muttered Eric.

"AWESOME!" Everyone shouted that word so loud that it flew him to the wall. A rock fell on top of his head. "Now that's… rock…"

He got up, but he could barely stand. He fell down and started rolling. "…'n' roll!" Then he got up and he stood on his legs just fine. "I'm sorry. I'm okay. I don't do stuff like this very often, you see. I just – Anyway, let's go in there and show the world what rock 'n' roll is!"

Everyone agreed and cheered and went inside the stadium.

* * *

><p>They walked through the rocky corridors until they came to the rocky grounds of the stadium. There they saw the American Eric and Nuclear Meltdown performing Aerosmith's <em>Dude Looks Like A Lady<em> with the Jersey Devil singing. They were performing on stage in front of a lot of stop-motion creatures, including elves, dwarves, orcs and many other creatures.

Nuclear Meltdown was on the stage in front of one judge who was the stop-motion giant griffin known as Rock Lord Cliff Griff.

Nuclear Meltdown finished the song and they were greeted with a mountain of applause.

"Very good," Cliff said. "You guys are No. 1 on the top of my charts." He squawked to the right to the nearby griffins who were standing under a giant rock acting like a screen. On it were the names of the band with their ranking numbers. The griffins move Nuclear Meltdown to No. 1.

"Now we have our last contestants – the Rock Cakes," said Cliff.

The Rock Cakes walked on the stage and started playing Smash Mouth's _Hang On_. To both the band's and Eric's amazement, the band was playing the song very well and Michelle was singing very beautifully. Then Eric noticed that no one in the audience was impressed.

Cliff looked very bored. He squawked to the left to a griffin next to a gold gong with a red cross on it. The griffin hit the gong with a mallet. On the right, the Rock Cakes got a red cross on the charts.

"What was that, man?" snapped Cliff. "Today, we've had ten rock bands who – only one of them – will change rock 'n' roll forever. And now we get the first loser band for today! You're not even half as good as rank No. 10. Now get out!"

The Rock Cakes walked back to where they came from, but when they tried to pass Eric, he held his hand out and they couldn't walk pass him.

"What are you doing?" asked Michelle.

"Our career is over, man!" moaned Jeff.

"Wait five more seconds and your career will have begun," said Eric, looking at Cliff.

Cliff stretched his wings and he was about to fly away when –

"Wait! Wait!" shouted a strange voice. Behind the nest Cliff was underneath, a grey bunny wearing a grey and black tunic appeared and bowed before him. Eric, his servants and the Rock Cakes knew it was Bugs Bunny.

"What are you?" asked Cliff. "A one-bunny band looking for more success?"

"No, I am the oracle known as Bugacle," said Bugs. "And I have something you might wanna see." He got out a pot of water and he poured purple powder into it.

Cliff looked into the water and saw that all the top ten bands had something inside the instruments they were playing and the microphones the singers were singing with. They had something inside each of everything – an IPod! An IPod in each instrument and each microphone to make each band sound just like the song and the original singer. The singers were just lip-syncing and the band members were just putting on an act.

Cliff looked at Eric. "You, magic dude!"

"How do you know I'm a magic dude?" asked Eric.

"I just know! Now just prove this vision is true," he ordered.

Eric walked to the centre of the stadium and clapped his hands. With the exception of the Rock Cakes, all the instruments and microphones were in pieces and the IPods were in them just like Bugs's vision showed.

"Rock Cakes, replay your song," Cliff ordered.

The Rock Cakes got their instruments out and they played _Hang On_ again. This time the audience loved it and so did Cliff.

After they finished the song, Cliff flew to the centre of the Stadium. "It is my pleasure to announce the winner of this 77th Mount Rock Stadium Battle of the Bands Competition which is… Rock Cakes!"

Everyone cheered and applauded.

"Furthermore," went on Cliff, "I am totally honoured to reward this cool band a sum of one million shiny golden coins."

Everyone cheered and applauded more, as the Rock Cakes received about a dozen wooden chests filled with golden coins.

Then Cliff flew to Eric. "As for you, young wizard, here is the Orb of Patience for helping the band."  
>"Thank you, Your Lordship," smiled Eric as he took it and put it in his pocket.<p>

"It's been a long time since I saw a wizard or a witch," said Cliff, "but you are absolutely nothing like them. You're more totally awesome. You are the best. Keep rocking."  
>Eric wanted to know more, but Cliff flew away before he could ask.<p>

Bugs rejoined Eric. "How did he know dit was ya who provided the magic, Doc?" he asked.

"He must have met more wizards and witches than I have," said Eric. "He must know magic and a magic person when he sees one."  
>"Well, let's get out of here before someone else notices you," said Danny.<p>

"Not yet," said Eric. He walked to Nuclear Meltdown and walked to the American Eric. "Hey, American remake of me, I have something to show you as a token of no hard feelings."

He reached into his pocket and gave him the Orb. The original Eric's friends couldn't believe their eyes.

The American Eric gratefully took it. "You probably have the season reasons why I'm doing all of this, too… Eric."

"Are your friends a mermaid and a really cool but strange dude?"

"Were you adopted by an evil man who rules the world with his two sons?"

They smiled as each other and shook hands.

"Hey!" shouted two British voices. The Erics turned around to see two young live action men standing there.

"That's my stepbrothers – the American Jim and John Epic," the American Eric told the original Eric. "I've got to go. Good luck."

"Come on!" shouted John in a British voice.

"Father wants his haircut four hours ago," snapped Jim in a British voice.

The American Eric followed his brothers away.

"That American remake of Jim and John don't sound American to me," said Sweet Corn.

"That's cause they don't know how to Americanise stuff," moaned Bugs. "Not even da writer of dis story. Nothin's makin' sense. I just wanna go back home to America."

"Well, the sooner we find these three remaining orbs, we'll free the world from magic and you'll go back to America as a hero, Bugs," said Eric. "But not tonight because I'm rocked and rolled up. Let's rock out of here."

"Wait!" cried Michelle. "We'd all like to thank you awesome guys for helping us win this competition and giving us a career."

"You're welcome," said Eric, as he rejoined his group. "Before we go, we're going to do a little magic dance to teleport us away, but we need some music."

The Rock Cakes played plain rock music and Eric and his friends were dancing like Michael Jackson. But Trolley was no good at dancing and he fell over and landed next to the dining room table. He picked himself up and saw the rest of the gang picking themselves up on the table in the Epics' dining room.

"Two down, three to go!" cheered Eric.

"But didn't ya gave the orb away to da American remake of you?" asked Bugs.

Eric got the Orb of Patience out. "I gave him… a copy."

"Why?" asked Trolley.

"Because if I was in his position and I was a British remake of _him_, I'm sure he would've done the same for me," Eric said. He saw that the bodies of Jack, Jim and John have disappeared. "The Epics are in bed. Let's go and celebrate our success! In the kitchen! Everything on me!"

"We don't want to eat anything from your body, Eric," said Trolley.

"Yeah, you're our friend and we're vegetarians," pointed out Sweet Corn.

"And your clothes have never been washed," added Choc.

"No, I meant anything you want in the kitchen you can have," explained Eric, "and if there's a problem, I'll take care of it."

Everyone cheered as they walked out.

They happily walked through the corridors of the house. No one noticed an eye peering from the keyhole from a well locked-up door.

* * *

><p>From the other side of the door, a CGI Soldier was looking through the keyhole. He walked down the stairs to the enormous and busy hanger. He pasted the busy CGI engineers and soldiers who were working on the CGI ships. The giant ships were manatee-shaped and the size of manatees too. The small ships were boomerangs-shaped with about six tank-like guns on it.<p>

The solider reached the top of the balcony, where Jack, Jim, John and Jengheng were talking.

"Sir, Eric's returned with the Orb of Patience, sir," the soldier reported.

"Right, report to your ship, private," Jim ordered.

"Yes, sir," said the soldier, saluting before he left.

"So you three idiots know the plan?" asked Jack.

"No!" said Jim, John and Jengheng together.

"James, you tell me that the secret Acme Orb, according to these pictures your best spies took, is in this cartoon blue bunny and his friends and with O'Marrows," said their father, holding pictures of Zack and the Tiny Toons at the docks.

"Yes and O'Marrows is Eric's best friend and he really likes that blue bunny," Jim added.

"So, if we kidnap them, we'll get the Acme Orb and we'll get Eric to do whatever we want him to do," said John.

"That's what I said in the first place, you dolt!" shouted Jim.

While they were arguing, Jengheng turned to Jack. "Boss, what about Eric?"

"While they're finding the Acme Orb, you will speed things up for my magic son so we will have the orbs and the world will be ours!" He laughed evilly.

Jengheng joined the laughing. Jim and John joined in too. So did the entire CGI staff and army.

"Well, what are you standing there with your ugly faces?" snapped Jack to everyone. "Get out there and find them! I want them found two thousand years ago!"

The entire soldiers and staff went back to work.  
>"Yes, sir!" said Jim and John. Together they walked down the stairs.<p>

"Yes, sir," said Jengheng, saluting his commander-in-chief. Then he walked down the stairs. "All right! You heard the big man! Let's go! Go! Go!"

What could Jack be planning? By the look of his evil grinning face, anyone would say his latest and most evil plan was coming close to completion, whatever it was.


	8. The UnSuite Life of Zack Without Cody

Morning arose on the Warner Bros. Cruise. They were in the middle of the ocean. People got up early to have their breakfast.

Later it was Zack's turn to have his breakfast. When he sat down, he was joined by the Captain.

"How long have you been in the cruise whats-it, Mr. O'Marrows?" asked Captain Mack.

"This is my second day on my first cruise, Captain," replied Zack.

"Because almost every single passenger has passed me and said the rooms are…"

Zack looked worried.

"…cleaner and clearer than the sunken diamonds at the bottom of the sea," said Mack happily. "How did you and your tiny crew do it?"

"Well…" Zack didn't know how the rooms got clean, but he had to come up with something to say to the Captain. "Well, I – "

"You don't wanna give away any details, do you?" said Mack. "Well, keeping secrets and making mysteries is a lot of fun and I like it. Just keep up the good work and everyone will be happy, Suvvy? See you later."

"Yes, sir." Mack got up and walked away.

* * *

><p>Zack walked through the corridors, where he found Babs, Plucky, Hamton, Shirley and Fifi, wearing cleaners' uniforms, next to a cleaner's cart.<p>

"_Monsieur_ O'Marrows, zere zis a problem!" cried Fifi.

"It's time to start cleaning and it's already been done!" cried Hamton. "Who could've done it?"

"Like, I'd say it was a ghost that's living on this cruise," thought Shirley.

"If it's a spy or a monster, I'll get him!" yelled Plucky. "I'll give him what for!"

"Well, get it ready, Plucky," Zack said, walking away from them.

"What do you think, Zack?" asked Babs.

"I think I know who did it," said Zack, walking to the cleaner's room. He opened it and said, "I think it's no one other than – "

"Buster Bunny!" cried the Tiny Toons.

In the room, Buster, wearing a cleaner's uniform, was hovering in the air above a cart. He had his eyes closed and felt so relaxed.

"Goofing off, Buster?" asked Zack.

"Yes," said Buster dreamily. Then his eyes woke up, suddenly realising what was happening. He fell to the floor. "Hi."

"Don't 'Hi' me, Buster Bunny," snapped Zack. "What were you doing before six o'clock this morning?"

"Well, I was feelin' a little seasick," said Buster, "so I went out to get some fresh air and I saw people getting up for their breakfast and – "

"Let me guess," interrupted Zack. "You saw an opportunity to clean every room… with the Acme Orb?"

"Well, I didn't do it without a uniform or a cart," said Buster. "Look, I even got the gear."

Zack went in to look closely at the gear. He felt the stuff. "Cleaner's gear," he said. "Plastic. Toys. Made by Tomy."

"Tommy who?" asked Babs.

"Oh, look," went on Zack, looking at the plastic yellow wheels on the cart. "Even the cart is plastic." He turned to Buster. "You used the Orb to make a bunch of children's toys grow to make them look real."

"Well, it worked until you found out, Sherlock O'Marrows," chuckled Buster. "Besides, I'm trying to make your career look good."

Zack tried to speak, but he felt so defeated that he just walked away. Then he quickly turned around to face the mischievous bunny. "Don't think that just because I'm not speaking to you means you've talked your way out of this." Then he turned to his crew. "Take the rest of the day off, guys." Then he walked out.

The Tiny Toons glared at Buster.

"What?" said the blue bunny. "You've been given a day off now, thanks to me."

Everyone sighed and walked away.

* * *

><p>Zack walked through the cruise. He bumped into a guide who was Porky Pig. "Hey, sir, are you l-l-l-l-l… unsure where you want to go?"<p>

"Sorry, Porky," Zack apologized. "I need to wander off by myself sometimes to relax myself."

"Well, whatever p-p-p-p… suits you," said Porky, walking off.

Zack carried on his walking when he passed the perfume shop.

"Ah, what do we have here?" asked Pepe Le Pew. "A lost miserable soul who without a girlfriend, no? Well, maybe this will cheer you up."

Pepe got out a spray can labelled _Docteur d'odeurs_ and he squirted it on Zack's cheeks and under his arms.

The romantic skunk smelled him. "Ah, _douce_!" he sighed. "You smell like a gentleman. Go and show those _beau_ girls what you are made out of."

"_Merci_, _Monsieur _Le Pew," said Zack, as he walked away.

An announcement told Zack to go to the dance club. He gave the message to the bartender, who was Beaky Buzzard, and he waited for him to come back. As he was waiting, he greeted by a trio of dancers, who were wearing bikini tops and shorts and boots. They passed him before they went up the stage. Then he saw a cartoon girl bunny dancing with them too. She was wearing purple shorts and a white bikini top. It was Lola Bunny!

When the girls finished their dancing, the three live-action girls got all the money thrown at them and they were fighting over the money they got. But Lola got nothing at all, except her miserable face.

"Here you go," said Zack, holding a few five-dollar bills.

"Thank you, sir," said Lola, taking his money.

"Where's Bugs?" asked Zack, sitting in the empty seat next to the stage.

Lola sat on the edge of the stage. "I was sent away to play for basketball, only to find out that I wasn't good enough. So I went back and I discovered Bugs wasn't there. I waited for him to come back, but he never did. And there was nothing for me to stay there, so I came here and ended up as a dancer."

"Hey, O'Marrows!" cried Beaky. "You don't want to make this first class star waiting, do you? He could sue us for 'not being reliable'."

"Yes, sir," said Zack, taking the drinks on the tray away with him. "And he sounds despicable himself," he muttered to himself.

Zack took the drinks to the first class lounge. When he walked in, he saw Daffy Duck sitting next to Melissa Duck and her father.

"Just what's wrong with me?" Duck demanded to know.

"Yes, daughter, what's wrong with him?" asked her father. "Is he not good-looking enough? Does he… Ahem!"

"No!" snapped Melissa. "He is so self-centred and he wants to date me just to make his career look good!"

Zack put the drinks down and Melissa swiped hers. "Thank you," she said to Zack, before she stormed out. Zack then turned to Daffy and Melissa's father.

"What do you want?" snapped Ducky.

"Anything else you'd like?" asked Zack.

"Yes, privacy!" yelled Ducky.

"As you wish… sir," said Zack, leaving the room.

Zack couldn't believe what was happening to his heroes. Not only had the Tiny Toons fallen out with each other, but the Looney Tunes, despite being together still, had changed, gone their own ways, and were miserable. But why?  
>"Excuse me, young man," cried an old lady's voice. Zack turned to see Granny, holding a magnifying glass. Behind her were Sylvester, Tweety and Hector.<p>

"You solving a mystery, Granny?" asked Zack.

Granny gasped. "How do you know that?" she asked.

"I've seen _The_ _Sylvester and Tweety Mysteries_," Zack replied.

"Well, I haven't solved a mystery since then," said Granny.

"So what's going on?" asked Zack.

"We're getting some power failure on this ship," Granny told him.

While she told him everything what she found out, Sylvester saw his chance to try to catch Tweety, who was on Granny's shoulder. He tried jumping up and down to catch the yellow canary, but he was too high.

Then the black and white cat saw a fire extinguisher. He picked it up and let it ripped! He was flying to Granny's shoulder and, with eyes closed due to his confidence that he will get Tweety, he reached his hand out and he caught something! He opened his eyes to see that it wasn't Tweety, but Hector's nose! For that, Sylvester received a big punch from the bulldog that sent him flying to the ice machine which made him freeze into a giant ice cube.

"So there's no power in the electricity room, the boiler room and everywhere that makes this cruise work, yet it's still moving," said Zack. "Maybe someone's controlling the ship on a small device or something. He or she could be a spy. We'll have to keep a closer eye on everyone, staff or passengers. Let's go."

"Come on, boys," said Granny. Tweety and Hector followed.

Sylvester broke out of the ice and coldly followed them.

* * *

><p>Zack and Granny checked around the entire cruise.<p>

"Well, we've looked around the cruise and haven't found anyone or anything out of place," said Granny.

Then a brown mouse and a blue cat passed Zack. "I have," he said. "Tom and Jerry has appeared in this Suppose-to-be-all-Looney-Tune-and-related-story."

"Well, they don't have to be the _only_ ones, do they?" said Droopy, walking past him too.

"What do you mean, Droopy?" asked Zack. "Explain yourself."

"Having a little trouble, Granny?" asked a male voice belonging to none other than Fred Jones. He was with Scooby Doo and Mystery Inc.

Zack couldn't believe it. He went outside to get some fresh air to see if he _was_ imagining it, but sadly he wasn't. He saw a lot of other Warner Bros. yet non Looney Tune related characters, such as Yogi and Boo Boo Bear, Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble, Top Cat and his gang and many other characters that Warner Bros. produced.

"Excuse me," said a male teenage voice. Zack turned around to see the Teen Titans behind him.

"You wouldn't have any change for a soda pop, would you?" asked Robin.

"You guys are superheroes," said Zack. "Make your _own_ money!" He stormed off.

"Have you ever seen _our_ show?" asked Robin.

Zack walked to the starboard side of the cruise and breathe over the sea.

"Feeling sick, huh?" asked a male voice.

Zack turned around to see… "Kermit the Frog!" Then he said to the audience, "Now I know this is unreal. Tell me I'm right."

Then Kermit's tongue hit his face, before it went back in the frog's mouth. "You had a fly on your face and I thought it was bothering you."  
>"Why are you in this story, Kermit?" asked Zack.<p>

"You said there was too much Warner Bros. cartoon characters going on," Kermit explained, "so the writer thought you could use a non-Warner character like a Disney or Muppet character like me. Besides, I could be the bad guy you're looking for that you and Granny are looking for. Or it could be this guy over here."

Zack looked over Kermit. He saw a completely covered-up man in a giant white raincoat and hood holding something like a GPS.

"Excuse me, sir," cried Zack. "May I look at that device?"

The figure just turned and walked away. Zack ran after him and took the hood off. He wasn't surprised at all to find a CGI man standing in front of him!

Zack grabbed the spy by the collar. And he snatched the device out of his hand. He saw on it that the cruise had been taken off course from its voyage to the British Isles and had immediately been taken to the bottom of South America. This CGI spy had been controlling the entire cruise.

"How long until we reach them?" Zack yelled.

The CGI spy just smiled. "Too late!"

Zack looked ahead to see nothing on the sea. Then, out of invisibility, an entire CGI naval fleet appeared.

Zack threw the spy into the rails and quickly ran down the stairs.

"I'm outta here," said Kermit, jumping off the cruise. "Last time I appear in a Warner Bros. Picture!"

"You know, that's the first smart thing we have heard the frog ever say," said Statler, who was on a deckchair.

"Is it?" asked Waldorf, who sat next to him. "I was hoping he'd say this was the last thing he appeared in anything." The two old gentlemen laughed their heads off.

"What are _we_ doing in this Warner Bros. picture anyway?" asked Waldorf.

* * *

><p>Zack ran to the corridors where he caught up with the Tiny Toons, Granny and her pets, Lola, who was wearing her yellow tank top and purple shorts, Daffy, Melissa and Porky.<p>

"What is it, Zack?" asked Buster.

"They're here for you," said Zack.

"Wow!" exclaimed Daffy. "Is there room on the boat for another VIP like… who knows?"

"There's a seat with the name of Daffy Duck on it," said Zack, "in the slaughter-boat of Jack Epic."

Daffy gave a goofy smile. "Is there somewhere else to go?" he asked.

"Somewhere a-a-a-a…. to get away from them!" Porky shouted, pointing to behind Zack.

Zack turned around to see a bunch of CGI soldiers running towards them.

"Go, Zack!" ordered Granny, getting on her knees. "Get these characters and yourself off the ship."

"What are you doing, Granny?" asked Zack.

"I'll be all right," said Granny. "Go on! Do your quest!"

"Bless you, Granny!" cried Zack as he and the rest of the Warner Bros. characters ran, except Hector who stayed and growled at the CGI soldiers.

Zack and his crewmates were looking for something to get them off the cruise.

"We can't get to the lifeboats," said Lola. "The decks are crawling with CGI soldiers."

They had a peek through the glass door and she was right. All the crew members, passengers and cartoon characters were on their knees and hands behind their heads. CGI soldiers were patrolling around them. A big black helicopter landed in front of them. Out of it came Jim and John Epic wearing white suits and black sunglasses.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," said John, "welcome to the Epics' party! We're going to be shaking butts and – "

"John!" snapped Jim, grabbing his face. "It's _not_ that type of party! It's the war party!"  
>"<em>War!"<em> yelled John.

"That's right," said Jim.

"_What is it good for?" _sang John.

"A fight, probably," said Captain Mack, drawing out a pirate sword.

Jim drew out a medieval sword and whacked it out of the captain's hand. "On your knees!" he ordered.

Mack obeyed. "Well, what else can I do, Suvvy?" he said to the rest of the captives.

Back behind the glass door, Zack had an idea. "To the Captain's cabin!" he ordered.

* * *

><p>After avoiding the CGI soldiers, everyone entered the Captain's cabin. Zack knew what he was looking for. Shortly, he looked at the shelf and said, "Found the ticket!" He took out a ticket and threw it behind him. He found a jar full of water with a ship inside it.<p>

"What's on this ticket?" asked Plucky as he snatched it from Hamton who picked it up. "'One for a rerelease of _Batman and Robin_?' At least, it's a Warner Bros. picture."

"Also considered the Worst Superhero movie of all time," said Buster.

"Oh? Couldn't this parody of that Johnny Depp pirate do better than surrendering to our own garbage movies?" snapped Plucky.

"Quiet, Plucky!" yelled Zack, as he tried to take the stuck lid of the jar.

"Just what do you think you're doing anyway?" asked Plucky.

"Something from a recent movie that's so awesome you'll wish Steven Spielberg never cancelled your show and allowed you to keep on spoofing other movies," said Zack.

Meanwhile, Sylvester had not forgotten Tweety. Tweety was sitting on the bookshelf that had books and a small tub of industrial adhesive. He climbed the shelf and tried to reach Tweety, but a light stopped them. Then the bookshelf fell on top of both of them.

Out of the books climbed Sylvester. He had about two lumps on his head and he was feeling angry. "All right, you bird-brained… bird!" he shouted. "Where are you?"

"Right 'betind' you," said Tweety.

Sylvester turned around but there was no yellow canary at all. He walked past a mirror, looked in it and walked past it. Then he stopped and walked backwards. He found Tweety… on the back of his head! You could call them Ratchet and Clank.

"Well, aren't you going fly away when you have the chance?" suggested Sylvester.

"I can't!" shouted Tweety, as he flapped his wings but couldn't go anywhere. "I'm 'tuck' to you."

"Suffering succotash!" moaned Sylvester.

"Come on, guys!" yelled Zack. "Let's get away while we can."

Sylvester just walked to the broken window with Tweety behind his head.

"No good askin' me!" Tweety told the audience. "I don't know what's going on, because a bad putty pat is blocking my view as well as yours!"

* * *

><p>"We searched the whole cruise, sir," reported the Major to Jim and John on deck, "but not a so much of a painting, let alone a cartoon character."<p>

"What about O'Marrows?" asked John.

"There's no one down there, sir," reported the Major.

"So where could he be?" thought John.

The Major saw behind an old carrack wooden ship sailing away from the cruise. "Er, sir…" He pointed to it.

"Quiet when I'm thinking, Major!" yelled John.

But Jim turned around and on the ship he found Zack, the Looney Tunes and the Tiny Toons on it.

"So long, Techno Suckers!" yelled an Irish voice. "And you spoiled brats, you! Hey, Zack, put the black flag up!"

On the ship, a rolled-up black flag was pulled up and when Zack pulled the little string off to unroll it, the flag stretched out revealing on it a giant middle finger.

Jim took a closer look and saw on the rear aft of ship had a face on it. "Fascinating!" he exclaimed. "O'Marrows, Looney Tunes and the Tiny Toons on a _Tugs_-like talking carrack ship!"

"I see three bunnies, but no carrots," said John.

Jim took no notice and turned to his soldiers. "Right, attention! New orders! "Back to the fleet! We'll follow them and give them a present!"

"A cake?" suggested John. "A video game? A television set?"

"No, a free pass to siren land," grinned Jim evilly.

"You won't get away with it!" yelled Granny. "Zack is with the best of the Looney Tunes and Tiny Toons! They will put you and your computer army down like… dogs."

Hector grunted.

Jim chuckled and grabbed Granny by the chin. "Don't get your hopes up, lady. My CGI army has been growing stronger as much as the popularity of CGI movies since _Toy Story_. You think you've helped Zack by sending Sylvester and Tweety with him when actually you have sent them to their death."

He let go off Granny and walked away. He, John and the soldiers left the cruise.

"What can we do?" asked Captain Mack, as he and everyone got up.

"Well, _you_ can count how much money you're going to give back to your passengers for what has just happened," suggested Granny.

Captain Mack looked at the angry crowd of passengers marching towards him. "Now, listen," he said, as he tried to back away from them. "Now, you've got to call that excitement." The people weren't listening. They were still coming for him. "Look, I was a hostage too, you know. I should deserve some money too." By the time he reached the glass doors, he ran out of excuses and he ran for it, but he was chased by the passengers of live-action and animation.

Granny was alone on deck with Hector. "_We_ can hope that Zack and his friends will complete his quest. At least, they're on their way."

"Yeah," said Waldorf. "On the way to – Where?"

"Probably out to open sea," said Statler.

"They're there already, aren't they?" asked Waldorf.

"Exactly!"

Waldorf and Statler laughed at this. Then they both got hit on the head. They saw Granny holding her purse.

"Insult my pets and friends, will you?" shouted Granny. And she chased them around the deck, hitting them with her purse.

"Careful, lady!" screamed Statler.

"What did we do to deserve this?" asked Waldorf.


	9. Chip's Latest Voyage

Granny was correct. Zack and his crewmates were on their way.

Zack walked over to the face on the boat. "Thank you for getting us away from the cruise, sir."

"_Sir_ is my father and _Madam_ is my mother," said the face. "Name's _Chip_."

"Do you have any sibling, _Chip_?" asked Zack.

"Brother boat's called _Cool Dude_ and Sister boat's called _Hot Boat_," _Chip_ told him. "Besides, this mission is the least I can do for you and your friends for freeing me from that jar bottle like in _On Stranger Tides_. You're very clever, so you are."

"Well, I'm not a genius, Captain," said Zack modestly. "I just watched all these movies and TV when I was little and – "

"Captain?" interrupted _Chip_. "No, a ship cannot be its own captain. But it can choose one. Get everyone here."

"Guys, come here!" cried Zack. "Our good friend _Chip_ wants to have a word with us."

The cartoon characters walked to him and looked at _Chip_.

"We need a captain and, as I'm a boat who can talk, I feel like _I'm_ the one should pick," said _Chip_.

"Is it really the ship talking?" asked Babs in a mocking female Irish voice. "Or is it just some Irish dude hiding behind the face and controlling the ship?"

"Does this answer your question?" _Chip_ blew his air – real breathing air – out of his mouth.

"Eww!" moaned Babs, as she struggled to fight his breath. "Get this ship a different type of oil that smells better."

The blowing was as powerful as the high wind. It blew Babs to the mast. She crashed in it.

"Okay, I'm convinced," she said. Then the mast fell down on top of her. "I'm double convinced," she moaned through the fallen sails.

"Well, that's one person who's unfit for the duty of captain," said Buster.

"Well, since you're the one who's carrying the burden of that Orb in your body, you don't need the burdens of being captain as well," _Chip_ told him.

"But I'm not burning," protested Buster.  
>"Now," said <em>Chip<em>, looking at everyone, "I pick for captain…" He looked from Daffy, Sylvester who turned around so _Chip_ could see Tweety, Plucky, Hamton and Porky to Lola, Melissa, Shirley and Fifi.

"…Mr. Zack O'Marrows!" announced Chip.

"Why me?" asked Zack. "Why do I always pick to lead?"

"Come on, Zack," said Buster. "Can you image Daffy or Plucky in charge of this ship?"

"Hey, don't forget I'm Duck Dodgers!" snapped Daffy in his Duck Dodgers uniform. "I'm the hero of the 24½th Century."

"That's still three centuries away," Buster said.

Plucky turned to Shirley. "I'll do you a deal, Shirl. You brainwash everyone to make appoint me captain of this ship and I'll take you anywhere you want. I'll take you around the whole world!"

"Get realistic, Plucky!" Shirley snapped. "Like, I think you're just doing this for yourself. Haven't you, like, got enough money and power being Daffy Duck's personal assistant? What do you need me for?" And she hovered away.

Zack had been watching them. Then he turned to Hamton. "Hamton?"

"Yes, Captain?" said Hamton.

"What has happened to your friends?" asked Zack. "Both the bunnies and the birds have fallen out with each other."

"Well, it all began when Bugs Bunny left Acme Loo and was replaced by Huey and Louie Finn, taking the names of Ted and Zed Schneebly," said Hamton. "Huey was the Jazz Band teacher and Louie was the Dance teacher. And since that happened, everything and everyone changed, especially with Buster and Babs."

"Yeah, and then Mr. Wearing-No-Pants here stated dating…" Zack and Hamton turned to Babs, who wore _Family Guy's_ Meg Griffin's clothes, hat and glasses. She even put on the face.

Zack couldn't believe it. "Buster dating Meg Griffin from_ Family Guy_?"

"Eh, she was the only exchange girl student left to date," Buster replied. "But she was better than who Miss Who-Has-Her-Ribbons-On-Too-Tight here dated!" They turned around to see Buster wearing Mr. Bean's clothes. He even had Rowan Atkinson's face on his face. He grumbled and mumbled like Bean.

Zack tried to keep a straight face as he turned back to Babs. "You were dating Mr. Bean?"

Babs had dressed in a white dress and had put on a pig nose and ears props. She stood like Miss Piggy did. "Well, better than whom he dated next!" she said in a Miss Piggy-like voice. She walked to Buster. "Hey, what that's up there?"

Buster looked up. Babs cried and tried to strike him like Miss Piggy, but, without looking, Buster got out an anvil and put it where Babs tried to strike him.

Buster had looked and dressed up like ALF the alien. "Nice try, babe!" he said, putting on an ALF voice. "But that's not even half as good as this weirdo you dated next!"

Zack had watched the whole thing. Even though this was serious and upsetting, watching the bunnies couldn't stop him laughing. He didn't stop until he saw the other toons just staring at him.

"Well, I'm just glad they're not dating or befriending Elmyra or Monty," Zack said. "That would've been much worse."

Then he stopped laughing and pulled himself together. "Right, positions. Daffy, you're the janitor and Buster and Plucky will be your assistants. Sylvester, Tweety, you're on guard duty. Melissa, you're helmsduck. Hamton, you're the chef. Babs, Shirley, you girls are in charge of the sails."

Everyone just looked at him like they weren't happy with their jobs.

"What? I'm the captain!" said Zack. "I've got the hardest job of them all. Now get to work."

"What about me… Captain?" asked Lola.

"And _moi_," Fifi joined in.

What jobs Lola and Fifi got you would have expected them to have the happiest job in the world for attractive females like them, but sadly they were bored. They were standing on the bow of the ship just looking pretty. They were acting as bait to trick enemies so Zack and the rest of the crew can take them by surprise if any came.

If that wasn't bad enough, everyone was having a hard time. Daffy, Plucky and Buster were aching with their mops and buckets, trying to keep everything clean. Babs and Shirley were struggling to keep in charge of the sails. Sylvester and Tweety were fed up being stuck together and seeing nothing out happening to sea.

As for Zack, he was his totally calm and cool mood. On the sunny days, he would do his routine inspection via skateboarding around _Chip_. On the rainy days, while the crew was wearing waterproof coats, Zack would wear swim shorts, black flippers and a diver's mask.

"This is my idea for preparing to get wet and I don't like walking around in wet clothes," he told them one rainy day.

* * *

><p>One day, the day was calm with no wind.<p>

"Like, what happened to 'days off'?" moaned Shirley, as she and Babs finished the sails.

Everyone was still working in the heat, but slowly. Lola and Fifi, still in their posing positions, were baking in the heat and sweating. The cleaners had ran out of water to clean the ship and Hamton couldn't make any food or drink cool.

"What's this, guys?" asked Zack, as he walked on deck. "I know how to keep us cool and move _Chip_."

Zack went behind _Chip_'s face.

"What's he up to?" asked _Chip_.

"I don't know, but I thought _we_ were wacky and insane," said Sylvester.

"You're right," said Daffy. "There's something wrong with him."

Then, above _Chip_'sface, appeared a giant fan above.

"_Chip_," said Daffy, walking to _Chip_. "How would you like to change your captain to someone who's… Um… Smart, strong, good-looking…"

"Too late anyway, Daffy," sighed _Chip_.

"No, it's not!" snapped Daffy.

The fan started.

"Yes, it is," argued _Chip_.

Then the sky was filled with spinning air and screaming by the toons, as the fan was spinning on the sails.

_Chip_ was like the road runner on the sea now (or what he would call the "Sea Sailor").

"Whoo hoo!" cheered Zack as he walked out. "I fixed it on myself! What do you think?"

All he got was moaning and groaning sounds from the toons hanging over _Chip_'s starboard side.

"Well, what needs to be done needs to be done," said Zack. "Besides, it runs on solar power. The wind comes out when the sun goes down."

He was right. The wind came up when the sun went down. The sails blew and _Chip_ sailed smoothly.

The crew weren't seasick, but they finally had enough of being stuck on the ship.

"C-c-captain Z-z-zack," said Porky. "The crew w-wanna know what's t-t-taking so long."

Zack got out his phone and clicked on maps. "Look, here we are at the bottom of Argentina." Everyone gathered around and saw that they were. Zack pressed WEATHER and on the screen it looked like it was going to be a beautiful bright day. That made them think what could be wrong. He pressed TRAFFIC and saw there were no ships at all.

_Get to the point!_ Babs shouted in her head.

She "got the point" when Zack pressed CGI Fleet and everywhere there was a CGI boat appeared on the world. It looked like their way to the British Isles was blocked off, but taking to the Pacific Ocean way was the only way to go to avoid Jack Epic's fleet, despite it meant taking the long way around.

"Does that make any sense to you?" asked Zack.

The toons nodded understandingly.

"Good! Now let's – "

Then a blue light shot pass _Chip_.

Zack checked his phone and his map showed no CGI ships.

Then another shot passed. The crew saw in the corner that there were some CGI ships about five miles away sailing towards them.  
>Zack thought it couldn't be true, but he knew he couldn't take any chances. He looked around and saw some dark dangerous rocks hiding behind fog. He could just see a road between them. "Melissa!" he cried to the helmsduck. "Head for those rocks!"<br>Everyone went 'WHAT?'

"Trust me!" Zack told them. "Those ships can't catch us through there and I know all the dangers that can happen! Now, let's move!"

Melissa did as she was told. _Chip_ went into the valley of dark and foggy rocks.

No one noticed that those CGI ships further away vanished like ghosts.

* * *

><p>About ten miles away, in the real CGI fleet, on their chief ship, Jim and John were sitting in the computer room and laughing their heads off!<p>

"Those mirages were a very good idea!" laughed Jim.

"You see how clever I am now?" said John.

"It maybe have been your idea to use it this," said Jim, "but _I _invented this whole thing for something I like this before you mentioned it so therefore I'm smarter! And therefore I hardly need to remind me about the next step of the plan."

"You mean the CGI sirens?" John pointed out.

"See?" sighed Jim. "That's my point. I sent them out five minutes!"

While they were arguing, the Major was standing by them. A CGI soldier appeared.

"Permission to ask a really important question, sir," said the soldier.

"Fire away, Private," ordered the Major.

"When are those two ever gonna get along?" was the private's question.


	10. Sirenbusters

"Quiet!" whispered Zack to his crew, as _Chip_ sailed through slowly and quietly. "We don't know what could be out there."

Behind him, the toons had white sheets over them and they were designed like ghosts.

Without looking, Zack smiled and said, "This is no time for horror parodies, guys."

"Boy, this guy is so hard to make him laugh," moaned Daffy under his breath.

"Shh!" ordered Zack. "Can you hear that?"

There was some singing in the background.

"What's that singing?" asked Lola.

"I don't know, but i-i-it's p-pr-pr – beautiful," said a calm Porky.

"Sirens," whispered Zack. "Boys, to the kitchen! Girls, stay on deck and run the ship for me!"

"What?" shouted the girls.

"You girls are in command of the ship and I'll let you pick who want to be captain this time," said Zack.

The male cartoons went into the kitchen. Zack was about to close the doors behind him, when he had just had one last command to give. "Girls, one last thing," said Zack. "Give _Chip_'s face some make-up."

"What?" Before the girls could ask Zack what he meant, he and the males had vanished.

"Well, what do we do now?" asked Melissa.

"Like, we need to vote for a captain," said Shirley.

"And here's your contestant," said Babs in a female pirate-like voice. She wore a pirate's hat, patch eye, coat, boats and skirt. "Well, don't just stand there! Get to work, you sea monsters!"

"Like, who voted for _you_?" asked Shirley.

"Me," replied Babs.

"I have been helmsduck since we left the cruise," Melissa pointed out. "I was hoping someone else would take over."

While most of the girls were arguing, Lola noticed that Fifi was not with them. "Girls!" she shouted. "Anyone seen Fifi?"

"Oh, la, la!" cried the voice of Fifi. Everyone turned to the bow and saw the purple skunk. "_Mon petite _skunk hunk!"

There everyone saw there was another skunk. He was blue, strong and… CGI!  
>"Girls, give <em>Chip<em>'s face some make-up now!" ordered Lola. They quickly obeyed.

"Hold me!" cried Fifi, as she charged for the male skunk. Then she tried to catch him, but he vanished into thin air and she fell over the side. Lola managed to catch her just in time.

"Where did he go?" asked Fifi.

"He's a siren!" Lola told her, as she put her back down.

A whistle came and Fifi saw the skunk sitting on the side. He patted on the empty space next to him.

"Wait for me!" cried the purple skunk.

Lola tried to catch her but she saw that the girls had been seduced by male sirens. Shirley was looking at a male blonde white bird wearing a blue jumper. Babs had her eyes on a rabbit that was an orange version of Buster and he wore a yellow jumper. A white version of Daffy was luring Melissa to him.

Lola realised she was the only one left. She quickly ran to the kitchen. Then she bumped into someone – a purple male rabbit that looked a lot of Bugs.  
>"You lost, doll?" said the rabbit siren.<p>

Lola's eyes lit up with flames as she stood up, trying to not look at the siren. "Don't call me…" But she couldn't take her eyes off the siren. "…doll," she finished, speaking like a zombie.

The siren was about to touch her, but then another "woman" got in her way.

"Don't choose her!" said a black cat, dressed in a yellow dress and putting on a female voice. "Take me!"  
>Lola saw a black and white tail from under the dress. <em>Sylvester?<em> she mouthed.

"No, take me!" squeaked a very high female voice. Lola looked up to Sylvester's head and saw Tweety painted in purple and wearing a green ribbon.

The siren rabbit turned Sylvester around and saw Tweety. "I'm sorry, conjoined twins, but I just can't choose between you two."

Meanwhile, all the sirens were attracted to the new "girls" walking on deck. The real girls could tell that the boys had dressed up like women. Daffy wore a white dress and a blonde wig.

"Wow! Marilyn Monroe!" cried the duck siren. He pushed Melissa away and charged for Daffy. "I thought you were dead, Marilyn!" he exclaimed happily, as he grabbed Daffy. "Are you going to be in any more movies?"

Daffy turned aside. "Not if I get kissed by him cause I'd be too embarrassed to show my face again," he moaned to the audience quietly.

Porky wore a duchess's pink dress and ginger wig. He was greeted by a male pig siren wearing upper-class clothes. He was holding a bunch of flowers and a box of chocolates. "Hey, madam, you are just my type of girl," he said in a posh voice, grabbing Porky. "Would you like to spend more time with me?"

"N-n-n-n-…" spluttered Porky, trying to talk his way out of it.

"Oh, come on, don't be shy," said the siren pig.

Then out from the kitchen came Buster wearing a giant red dress and wearing black wing in the shape of a butterfly, Plucky wearing a woman's black tank top and a blonde wig shaped like two daggers on each side of his head and Hamton wearing a brown hair wig and a purple bikini top and sarong.

Last but not least, Zack came out wearing a long black hair wig and a woman's yellow tank top and a woman's blue jeans. He went to _Chip_'s face. "I see you haven't had no make-up," he said in a female voice. He got a make-up kit and made _Chip_ look more girly.

"What are you doing?" asked Zack.

"Sirens are creatures that lure men to their deaths," Zack told him in his girly voice. "So I figured if we have to dress up and act like woman, we could avoid them. If these guys don't ruin it."

"Hey, you don't want her!" said Buster in a female seductive voice, passing Babs and walking to the orange rabbit siren. "You want me!"

"What _are_ you doing?" snapped Babs to Buster under her breath. "You haven't turned – "

"Shh!" Buster snapped back under his breath. "I'm trying to save your life from this!"

"What, with those clothes that don't match and that feeble fake voice? Come on, Buster! Is that the best you can – "

"Buster?" the rabbit siren gasped. "You're a male?"

All the sirens stopped what they were doing and looked at the bunnies.

"Way to go, Barbara Ann Bunny!" Buster scoffed.

Babs growled. "Call me that one time and I'll – "

Then more sirens came onboard. The female love interests of the male sirens, this time! They searched around the crew, but because they were all wearing female clothes make-up, no one could tell who was what. And the toons themselves were not seduced by them anymore. It seemed Zack's plan had worked.

"Well, guys," said Zack in his normal voice. "You've been searching my ship for about two hours now and you've found nothing. Why don't you go and find some other ship?"

"Okay," said the white duck siren. He began to walk away, but the white rabbit siren grabbed him and stopped him.  
>"Oh, we've just got one last thing to do," the purple rabbit siren said.<p>

"Oh, yeah! And just what is that?" asked Daffy.

The sirens' eyes glowed red and their faces grew meaner and uglier.

"You had to ask," moaned Melissa.

The sirens chased Zack and his crew around _Chip_.

The toons had their few tricks up their sleeves.

Melissa threw a bucket of oil behind her. The sirens chasing her slipped on the oil and got stuck on it.

A squad of male sirens saw Lola standing on the next to the mast. She stood like a model and it looked like she was willing to turn herself in. The sirens laughed and walked quickly to her. Then – CRACK! – they fell down into the cells of the ship.

"I made that hole myself," Lola said to the audience. Then she turned to _Chip_. "You ever catch any prisoners before you were jarred up, _Chip_?"

"No, I was the ugly duckling of the English fleet in the 16th Century," _Chip_ told her. "When Ireland was ruled by the British."

The Tiny Toons were cornered on the starboard side by the "tiny sirens".

"Like, what are we going to do?" yelled Shirley.

Buster saw the orange rabbit siren walked on the wooden floor and he saw the cracks of the planks. When he got on the end of the plank next to Buster, the blue bunny got out a hammer and hit the other end. That sent the siren bunny up and down and back.

"Grab a hammer each and let's get hammering," ordered Buster.

The Tiny Toons got out a hammer and hit their ends of the planks, sending the tiny sirens away from them.

Sylvester and Tweety built a model of a female white cat for the ginger male cat siren, as there was no female cat siren on _Chip_. He walked to the model and kissed it. Then he saw its "skin" fell off to reveal the cat was a model of bombs and dynamites! BOOM!

"Where did all these props come from?" moaned the cat siren.

"Well, Warner Bros. can afford all of this stuff in their movies," said the pig siren.

"No, I meant how they get all this stuff from an old ship," said the cat siren.

"Maybe it's just a hole in the plot," thought the pig siren. "These toons do it all the time."

As time went on, the toons were running out of tricks and they and Zack were trapped in front of _Chip_'s face.

"You should know that you can never outsmart us sirens," said the purple rabbit siren.

"Although they have more success than others before," said the white duck siren. "I'd say they deserve some credit."

The purple rabbit siren slapped him on the beak. Then he turned to our heroes. "Well, any last words?"

"Don't look behind you," said Zack in his confident voice.

The sirens looked behind them and back to them. "There's nothing behind us! What kind of last words are – "

Then they stopped, gasped and looked back again. There stood a live-action dark creature. Its bottom half was a big fish tail, while the top half was a black jumper and gloves with a black mask covering up a human head. Next to it was a tiny grey cartoon dolphin. The dolphin wore a purple dress and pink ribbon on her head. The Tiny Toons thought there was something familiar about her.

"Well, well, well," said the white rabbit siren. "If it's isn't the Sirenbusters! How are you doing, fish babe?"

"You know what happens when you call me that." The covered-up creature's voice was female and English.

"Bring it on!" said the pig siren.

"As you wish," said the figure. She got out a laser thing that was linked to something behind her back, like the Ghostbusters' proton packs. She turned it on.

"You're just trying to scare us," the white duck siren chuckled.

"Yeah, you can't fool us with that _Ghostbusters_ toy," laughed the purple rabbit siren.

The figure fired her thing and out came a wooden net that landed on the sirens and trapped them.

"_Ghostbusters_ toy, my… fins!" shouted the figure. "I created this myself, didn't I, Nell?"

The dolphin, which was called Nell, looked at the figure and nodded.

Zack and the toons were unsure about what was going on. They were glad the sirens were taken care of, but they didn't seem to trust the dark figure and her dolphin.

The figure picked up the net and she spun the sirens around and around, like Yosemite Sam spins his lasso around. Then they were sent up high in the sky.

"So long!" cried the figure. "That's what your flight is going to be – so long!"

The Captain drew out his sword and walked to the dark figure. "Listen!" he ordered. "Take that thing off your back and swim away."  
>"My invention!" snapped the dark figure. "I do what I like with it! Also I have put patent pending on it."<p>

"Right! You were warned!" shouted Zack, as he drew his sword to strike, but he was stopped by another sword held by the dark figure.

"Nell, take the helm!" the figure shouted to the dolphin.

Nell nodded as she hopped over the helm.

"Get away from there, little girl!" warned _Chip_. "You don't know what you are doing!" But Nell was busy operating the helm.

The toons had been watching everything, but didn't know what they could do. Then Daffy saw Nell at the helm.

"Come on, guys!" he cried. "Let's get that dolphin away!"

Then they all ran for Nell and shouting her to get away from the helm. But, without looking, the dolphin got out a device with a blue button on it. She pressed it and a see-through blue shield appeared around her and the helm.

Now matter how strong the sledgehammers or how powerful the drills or how deadly the dynamite were, the toons were doing more damage to themselves rather than the shield.

Meanwhile, Zack had been chasing the dark figure with his sword through the entire ship. When the figure took a few moments to catch her breath, he finally managed to catch and hold her at the mast.

"Let's see who's behind the mask," said Zack. He took the cover off and it was the last person he'd expected it to be, but the first person he wanted to see. The figure's face was white and pale and had blue eyes and ginger hair.

"Diamond?" said Zack.

"Zack?" said the mermaid.

This made them remember the last time they were together…

_Fifteen years ago, it was the tenth day since Jack tied Dia and Zack together on the mast and sent them away so they don't interfere with their schemes and help Eric in any kind of way. It was raining heavily too. They were starving and had just survived by drinking the rain water, not the sea water._

_"You can go on without me, Dia," said Zack. "I'll find my own way somehow."_

_"Don't be silly," said Dia. "I know the seas and everything in it."  
>"Because you live in it," moaned Zack.<em>

_Then a giant wave flipped the raft they were on over and they were upside down. Another tidal wave flipped the raft back and Zack coughed. He saw that he was on his own._

"_Dia? Dia!" he cried, but he was alone and he never saw his girlfriend ever again…_

…until today.

"Wow! Fifteen years!" they exclaimed together.

The ship rocked. "Hey, Captain, am I interrupting something?" cried _Chip_.

"Do you still trust me?" Dia asked Zack.

"I guess," replied Zack.

"Get our heroes away from the shield," Dia ordered.  
>The toons were still hysterically trying to break the shield.<p>

"Crew! Step away from the shield!" Zack ordered.

The toons turned around and began to protest.

"That's an order!" he shouted.

With that, the toons walked away.

"All right, Nell!" shouted Dia. "Let's go them home!"

Through the shield, Nell heard her and pressed the red button on her device.

Everyone heard rumbling. They turned to see a little cave in the middle of the sea. In the middle, a rock was opening like a crocodile's mouth.

"Where are we going?" asked Sylvester.

"Trust us," said Zack. "She's a big fan of you guys as much as I am and she wouldn't lead us to anywhere dangerous."

"Can we at least panic?" asked Daffy. "Just to make us feel better."

"Fine," sighed Zack. Then everyone panicked and screamed.

Even a fine old military ship like _Chip_ was scared. He was about to enter the cave. He shut his eyes. He saw nothing and heard nothing but screaming. Then the screaming stopped.

"Are we dead?" asked _Chip_. He opened his eyes and saw that he was inside the crystal-light lit-up hand-drawn animated cave. And that his crew was alive and well. He parked next to the dock. Nell hopped off to tie the ship.

"Wow! That was amazing, Dia," smiled Zack.

"Not as amazing as you," said Dia, wrapping her tail around his body. She kissed him!

The toons were watching them and were so confused by this event. Porky even fainted.

"Zis zory zis getting very zrange, no?" thought Fifi.

"Oh, of course," said Dia. "You'll want a tour of Dolphin Grotto. Just a minute."  
>She let go of Zack, took her black jumper off, revealing that she was wearing an orange bikini top, and jumped in a pair of strange large blue mechanical jeans. She then put on her glasses which were shaped like shells.<p>

"Are those techno jeans?" asked Zack.

"Yep," replied Dia. "I've even got Julian Knott's techno trousers theme."

She pressed the blue button and the music played. Then she pressed the red button and the techno jeans moved like Wallace and Gromit's techno trousers.

"Well, don't just stand there, guys," said Zack, preparing to leave _Chip_. "Let's follow the tour guide."

The toons just didn't know what to do. They have been through many crazy adventures, but this kicks the butt out of all of them.

"What do we do now?" asked Melissa.

"The best thing to do is just follow the live-action captain and his live-action girlfriend," said Lola. "Come on."

They walked off _Chip_.

"Don't worry, _Chip_," said Zack, as he got off. "If I see anything you might like, I'll get it for you."

"Well, I suppose it's better than being stuck up in a jar for half a millennium," _Chip _told himself.

Two hours later, he muttered, "I might as well be in that jar again. I'm so bored! There's no one around or going to come!"

Then a large cartoon white marine boat arrived. Out of it came a dolphin wearing a black jacket, white shirt and blue tie. He was a paper-cut animated dolphin, animated just like _South Park_, and he was on the phone.

"Well, that's not good enough, you moron!" the dolphin shouted on the phone. "Just tell the employees to accept the time changes wherever they're happy or not!" He turned his phone off.

Two more white marine boats came up and out of each one came out a paper-cut animated dolphin. One was female wearing a purple dress, while the young one was male with spiky hair and was wearing a red shirt saying, 'Look Up To Me! I'm Your Best Role Model!'

The dolphins jumped off their boats and hopped away.

"What's your problem?" asked the father rudely.

"I have just stood still for that _Dolp_ magazine about fourteen hours today," moaned the mother.

"And I have sung twenty of my songs at the Reef Stadium," said the son.

"So what are you complaining about?" snapped the father. "You're the most successful singer in the whole Coral Sea…"  
>Luckily, during their arguing and shouting at each other, they didn't notice <em>Chip<em>. The ship wanted to help his crew, but what could he do to help? He was an old ship. He had no phone, no radio signal or anything to warn them. The only thing he could do was say, "God help them!"

* * *

><p>The dolphins silently and coldly hopped to the elevator. It went up about three floors and they hopped through the corridors of their home. The lit-up shells help them see and hop their way through sandy floors. Above them were the shell-framed portraits of their ancestors if they ever cared to look up at them.<p>

"Diamond!" they cried. They opened a coral-made door and hopped through the sunken wooden room, where only Diamond and Nell were sitting on their pillar-coral made beds.

"Diamond! Nell!" shouted the mother. "Where have you been?"

"We three work so hard all day whereas you just sit and lie around all today and you can't even prepare a meal for us?" shouted the boy.

"If the dining room has no food in about five minutes..." the father warned. Then he slammed the door behind him.

"Okay, guys, the coast is clear!" Dia shouted.

Apart from the two beds, there was only two little ship windows and a lamp like a pillar reef. Zack and the toons came out from under the beds. The boys were out of their girly make-up and clothes and back into their normal clothes. Zack had his jacket off and was wearing his yellow sleeveless shirt.

"That's your stepfamily?" asked Zack.

"And Nell's, too," added Dia.

"What kind of family adopts and gives you a lot of trash, while they have the best for themselves?" moaned Daffy.

"Who says they have the best?" asked Dia. She pulled a level down. Out of the walls turned cream white and the glass shell lights in the whole grotto appeared. Out of the now-tiled floor came a glass table and with glass chairs. And a soft white mat appeared up too. Finally, but not least, came a bookcase, a giant TV and a cabinet of drinks, including milkshakes and soda pops for the Tiny Toons. They were standing in the best room of the whole grotto.

"Did you d-d-d-d make all this b-b-b-b on your own?" asked Porky.

"Well, I can't take all the credit," said Dia. "Nell helped me and these John Lewis magazines gave me the ideas."

"Where did you get all this stuff?" asked Buster.

"Well, people keep throwing stuff in the sea and damaging the marine life," Dia said. "Nell and I just find what we can, take it back here and put it to good use."

"Well, let's put them to good use ourselves," said Daffy. "Let's chill out and relax."

And all the toons walked and partied around the room.

"Follow me," Dia said to Zack.

He followed her to a glass door which she opened. They walked out onto the balcony of the paper-cut animated grotto and looked at the live-action nightfall on the Australian Sea.

"It's so beautiful," said Zack. "I have never seen a more amazing place."

"Not even in your life in America where you were friends with Yokko, Wakko and Dot and Freakazoid and all the _Animaniacs_?" asked Dia. "Anyone would have loved the life you had."

Zack remembered his first day in America.

_The Warner Siblings were on a beach. While Yokko and Dot were sun-bathing, Wakko was fishing. _

"_I can taste the fish already!" he cried. Then he turned to the audience. "That's because I'm eating all the little prawns I bought from the supermarket."_

_He caught many things. First, he could a drowned, full-of-holes boat, then he caught a rusty kettle, then he caught a surfboard – only the top end – and then he caught a glass bottle and opened it, thinking it was a treasure map. On the paper, he read, "'A sergeant orders a soldier to give him twenty push ups and the soldiers says, "Sir, push up twenty what, sir?' What kind of joke is that? Must be when the world had no sense of humour!"_

_He scrunched it up and threw it away. Then he got his rod and threw it in the sea. Five seconds later, his hook went down. He tried to pull it up, but it was too strong._

"_Guys, come and give me a hand!" he cried to his family._

_Yokko and Dot ran to him and held him, as he tried to pull the thing up. They all fell down and saw the thing in front of them was a ten-year-old Zack._

"_Hi, guys," smiled Zack. "I'm just spoofing Steven's _An American Tail_."_

_Later, he was taken to see Dr. Scratchansniff and Hello Nurse. As he had no family, he was transported to the Acme Orphanage in Washington D.C. When he was living in England, the orphanage was empty with only Eric Epic. But this orphanage had lots of cartoon human kids and kittens and puppies and other creatures. He could never be alone, despite being the only live-action person._

_He went to Harry Connick High School where he became friends with Dexter Douglas and they stayed friends until they went to Harvard University. All that time he was checked on by Scratchansniff, Hello Nurse and the Warner Brothers and the Warner Sister, as they all (including the entire Animaniacs cast) were living in Washington after leaving Burbank since their show ended. _

_Then he went to join the Metropolitan Police Force and had become a success at such a young age and moved into a rusty ship in the docks with Rita and Runt. _

"Yeah? Well, they can have it," said Zack. "Seeing their shows _with_ you all those years ago were the best things that has ever happened to me."

"Me, too," said Dia. "And also with Eric. I miss him so just as much as I have missed you."

"Yeah, I have, too," Zack said, looking away from her, because he didn't want to see his worried face.


	11. Not Alone in the Universe

Even with the terrible twins out of the mansion, life on the Isle of Epic was like they were still there.

"Eh, I had more pleasant times with Yosemite Sam and Elmer Fudd than 'ere," Bug moaned, dusting the hallway with his sorcerer friend. "No offence, Eric."

"None taken, Bugs," said Eric. "I actually agree with you. Sam and Elmer would make much better company than Jack."

"ERIC!" shouted the booming voice of Jack Epic.

Eric and Bugs looked down to the ground floor where Jack was waiting.

"What?" Eric shouted.

"My computer has broken down!" shouted Jack. "Go to the computer room and fix it!"  
>"Since when do you work with computers?" asked Eric.<p>

"Just get over there and do it!" shouted Jack, walking away.

Bugs turned to Eric. "We ain't gonna do it, are we, doc?"

"Not for him," Eric told him.

Eric, Bugs and the servants went to the computer room. It was a small room with a large metal something that looked like a cooling tower with wires being connected to the walls instead of using steam.

"What's so special about this salt pot?" asked Sweet Corn.

"This 'salt pot' is the power supply that powers not only this island, but this entire planet," Eric told him.

Choc surveyed it. "This technology looks like the CGI army's type."

"That's because it is," Eric said. "Ever since they crash-landed to Earth about half a century ago, Jack spared their lives and offered them a place to live, as long as they help him rule the world. Movies, TVs, phones, Internet, Wi-fis, take your pick. Jack bought them and updated them with this power because this stuff is what people love and he thinks it gives him power. Giving us earthlings this technology was obviously the cake."

"Those CGI people gave us cakes?" exclaimed Trolley. "Wow!"

Eric ignored him. "Now, come on, guys. I need some volunteers quickly."

"I'm in," said Bugs, walking to him.

"Count me in," cried Danny walking to him.

"Will you require any means of transport?" offered Shou Off.

"No, they won't, Shou Off," said Eric. "Sweet Corn, do you mind going?"

"Am I a flying horse?" Sweet Corn went up and joined them.

"Doc, you ain't comin' with us wherever dit dis we _are_ goin'?" pondered Bugs.

"I have to stay here so things don't look too obvious for Jack," explained Eric. "You'll be all right when I teleport you to the CGI people's planet." Then he turned to the power supply. "Open sesame!" At the bottom, a tiny door opened. "Get in, you three."

Bugs, Danny and Sweet Corn crouched and squeezed in. The door closed behind them. Then bright lights shone in front of them and they felt like they were shooting up like a space rocket. Then everything stopped and the door automatically opened. They walked out and saw they had just walked out of metal crate.

"That's one small step for rabbit," said Bugs.

"One giant leap for dwarves," cried Danny, jumping over Bugs.

Sweet Corn jumped ahead of them both. "And four hooves for unicorn… kind-ish?"

"Nah," said Bugs and Danny together.

* * *

><p>The sky was pink as a pink rose with dark green clouds. It was hanging over the mega city. It was full of buildings – all made out of glass. The pavements and roads felt they were made out of rocks instead of tar. But that didn't bother the cars as they were hovering above them. And the people were walking just fine. These CGI people not only included humanoids, but it also included furry creatures, scaly creatures, bird-like creatures and even robots were walking like citizens. They were all wearing clothes. Everyone was busy walking and minding their own business that no one noticed three black hooded covered-up figures walking by them.<p>

"Lucky these robes were in the garbage nearby, I suppose," moaned Danny.

"Oh, come on, they aren't bad," said Sweet Corn. "I imagine this is up Dark Robes's street."

"Eh, wish this Orb were up this one," said Bugs.

"Three aliens want help?" asked a female voice.

They stopped and turned around. They were in front of a completely covered up building.

"Look below," the female voice ordered.

They looked down and saw a CGI black woman behind bars that was lying on the pavement.

"How can a prisoner like you help us?" Danny demanded.

"Because Clive knows three guys are aliens," said the woman.

"Clive?" cried Bugs. "Clive who?"  
>"Clive Boun, at three guys' service," said the woman, putting out her hand through the bars.<p>

Danny and Sweet Corn were unsure about shaking it, but Bugs was brave enough to shake it and it felt all right.

"So three guys want to find the Orb of Selflessness?" said Clive. "If Clive helps three guys out, will three guys promise to get Clive out of here?"

"Yes!" cried Sweet Corn straight away.

"Why did you agree quickly?" asked Danny. "She could be leading us into a trap."

"What's the worst that could happen?" asked Sweet Corn. "If we do, Eric will come and rescue us!"

Bugs ignored their arguing and walked to Clive. "Since we made a promise, doc, where is dis Orb?"

"The Orb is on the top of the Mount Myjast," Clive told them.

"Mount Myjast?" laughed Sweet Corn. "More like 'Mount, my a – "

"It's very tough," Clive went on. "It's in a private area. A sort of, how do Earthlings say, National Park. Three guys can't use a hovering car even if they stole on and tried to sneak above them. It's well guarded."

"Well, how do we get there, then?" asked Bugs.

"Roll up! Roll up!" cried a robotic voice on a microphone. "Step right this way for a tour of the planet Hopcon. See the beautiful seas, skies, forests and mountains untouched by Neomaverks."

"Neo-what?" cried Danny.

"I assume it's de name for these CGI humanoids," thought Bugs. "Now let's get on board."

They turned and followed where the robot was announcing. They saw a queue on boarding a metal ship that looked like a double decker bus on the back of an eagle. They joined the queue, but they were the last three. They tried to get on, but the bus was full already.

"We need to get on this bus, guys!" snapped a panicking Danny.

Bugs looked around and finally had an idea. "Follow me, guys!"

Soon the ship lifted and took off. It was in the air and sailing through the air smoothly, except for the three stowaways on top.

"I don't feel good," moaned Sweet Corn.

"Join the club!" snapped Danny.

"Hey, guys, chill," said Bugs.

"But how?" yelled Sweet Corn and Danny together.

"With these cool drinks." The grey rabbit took out some water bottles that appeared to be bought in the cool section of a supermarket. He chucked them to his friends. They quickly drank it and they were chilled – and shaking!

"Ain't I a stinker?" he said to the audience.

* * *

><p>The bus was hovering above the sky. They saw some incredible sights on the way. There were giant mountains that looked exactly like Earth's, only they were the shapes of trees and bushes. The forests of trees and plants looked like bowling pins with branches coming out of the pins. And the seas were darker than the drains on Earth that it looked like it was…<p>

"Spilling oil!" snapped Danny. "What kind of sci-fi planet is this? Not even a pre-schooler would believe this."

"And this," said the announcer on the bus, "is the most famous mountain on the whole planet of Hopcon – Mount Myjast!"

Bugs, Danny and Sweet Corn leaned over on the side of the bus and saw the most beautiful sight on the planet – a giant mountain that was as large as Earth's Everest, only it had a large balcony that was like a white half-moon on its neck.

"This is our stop!" cried Danny, jumping on Sweet Corn.

"I know you're made of wood," moaned Sweet Corn, "but you're still a heavy dwarf!"

"Hop on, Bugs," Danny said.

Bugs jumped on behind the dwarf.

"Cowabunga!" screamed Danny, as he pulled the reins and made Sweet Corn jump off the bus. Sweet Corn and Bugs screamed, while Danny was 'yahoo'ing all the way down! They were getting closer and closer to the balcony, but they missed it. Finally, Danny got out his axe. He stuck it into the mountain.

"Wow! What a ride, hey?" the mad dwarf exclaimed.

"Yeah, except we are fifty miles under the balcony!" snapped Sweet Corn.

"Well, we didn't have any parachutes and, if we hit the balcony, we'd be painted all over the balcony," Danny said. "Besides, I happen to be a faster climber. Let me show you."

Danny climbed the three of them up and it took them about…

"Thirty seconds!" exclaimed Danny.

"Probably because de editor used fast motion to make it look possible," said Bugs.

The alien trio were now on the balcony. It was all white from the edge to the room it led to. Inside the room was a giant bowl of water and above it was the Orb!

"You guys go get it," Danny ordered. "I'll be on guard."

Sweet Corn lifted Bugs up with his nose. The grey bunny reached for it. He also got it when –

"Wanna touch it?" said a powerful voice. Bugs gasped and fell into the water. He, Sweet Corn and Danny looked up to see a white Neomarvek in black robes and with a gold chain around his neck with a crystal on it.

"Thanks for the cover, Dwarf Brain!" Sweet Corn snapped at Danny.

"He just came in like a ghost," said Danny.

"Eh, what's up, doc?" asked Bugs, as he climbed out of the water.

"How did you get here? And why are you here?" asked the Neomarvek.

"How about asking de question, 'Who are you?' to us?" suggested Bugs. The Neomarvek didn't. "Oh, well. I am Bugs Bunny, King of de Planet… eh…"

"Well, King Bugs Bunny of the Planet Eh, I am President Dobt," said the Neomarvek. "I rule everything and everyone of Hopcon. What brings you here?"

"I was hopin' we could build a truce – and a bridge too – between our two planets," said Bugs.

"Oh! And you thought we could do that – by stealing my Orb?" shouted President Dobt. "Guards!"

Behind them, about a dozen guards, wearing the same suits Jack Epic's Neomarvek Soldiers wear, pointed their guns at Bugs, Danny and Sweet Corn.

"Three aliens arrived here and jumped on the most secret spot on Hopcon and has arrived with no gadgets, no weapons and no allies to – "

"Surprise you?" said Choc, holding a sword that shone green.

"Is that supposed to be a lightsaber?" asked Danny.

"No," replied Choc. "It's supposed to be like Frodo and Bilbo Baggins' sword, _Sting_. Only it flashes green instead of blue." Not only that but it also sang _Message in a Bottle _by Sting the singer. "Ha, ha, rip off," moaned Choc sarcastically.

Trolley appeared behind the guards and knocked them down with his cane like bowling pins.

Dobt tried to run away from this "alien attack", but he was trapped in a ring of fire coming from the mouth of Shou Off. Dobt looked around to see if there was a way out. There wasn't but he wasn't alone. "Hello, Mr. President," Eric Epic grinned.

"Eric Epic?" cried Dobt. "The evil son of Jack Epic? He warned me about you, so I've come prepare!" Behind his back, he got out a metal stick with red electricity glowing spear heads on each end. He struck for Eric, but the young wizard lifted his hand and the spear was out of Dobt's hand. It turned into a metal chain and it wrapped around Dobt.

"If I was evil, Mr. President," said Eric, "I would take you out and you wouldn't know it."  
>"Where would you take him out to?" asked Sweet Corn. "A Bistro restaurant? A movie theatre?"<p>

He and his friends laughed at this.

"Maybe you're just trying to trick me," said Dobt. "Just like how your kind stole the powers from the God of Magic, Nymther! I know what you're trying to do and you can't have it, even if you try to destroy this planet. Which is probably what you're doing."

"What are you talking about?" Eric felt a little rumble.

Shou Off was forced to cease fire.

"Shou Off, get up in the sky and tell me it's not true!" Eric ordered.

The dragon flew up out and saw the mountains were falling down. "It's true, Eric!"

Eric didn't know what to do.

When everyone was witnessing the dramatic event, Dobt wriggled himself free out of the chains. "I'm going to get out of here and let you die in your own evil scheme." He walked away.

"You've got some talk about evil, walking away and letting the people you rule to die," said Eric.

The President stopped and looked at Eric.

* * *

><p>The pink sky and its green clouds were vanishing like ghosts. The sky was all space and stars.<p>

The oceans and the seas were draining. The trees and the bushes were being chopped down not by an axe or a chainsaw, but by some fuzzy grey figures. They had no arms, no legs and no facial features.

Now every Neomarvek on the planet was gathered into squares in the capital city of Seup. They were lying on the floor and coughing.

"Citizens of Hopcon, we computer viruses mean you no harm," said the chief of the fuzzy creatures know as computer viruses, "but this entire thing is for one wizard to turn himself in and bring the Orb of Selflessness with him."

"Okay, I'm here," cried a voice. The Chief computer virus turned around to see Eric Epic walking towards him. Bugs and the servants were also with him.

"And here's de Orb." Bugs produced the Orb in his hand.

"Give it to me!" ordered the Chief Virus.

"Not until you let those Neos go!" Eric yelled back.

"I do not take orders from anyone who is not an Epic!" the Chief snapped.

"I am the adopted son from Jack Epic!" shouted Eric. "That makes me an Epic and I order you to stand down!"

"You are not one of his blood sons," said the Chief. "You have no power over us. Now give me the – "

"Go ahead, Bugs," Eric sighed.

The grey bunny chucked it to the Chief.

The Chief inspected it. "Wait a minute! This Orb is…" He threw it down to the ground where it smashed into tiny glass pieces. "…a glass ball with a forty watts bulb in it." He turned back to Eric, not noticing some wriggly things coming out of the broken pieces. "Where is it?" he demanded.

"Up your nose, probably," Eric laughed meanly.

"Kill all those Neos until he takes this seriously!" the Chief ordered the other viruses.

Then he was groaning. All the other viruses were groaning.

"Why am I groaning?" yelled the Chief. "And what are these worms doing here?" Around all of him and the viruses were green techno worms.

"They're a little present from Eric," said Bugs.

"You've given them computer worms?" exclaimed Trolley.

"Yep, the worms are spreading around the viruses giving them tapeworms," smiled Eric.

"Tapes? You mean, you use these worms as measuring tapes?" asked Trolley.

"If you think this is going to make us stop," groaned the chief, "it won't! Master is preparing something worse than this!"

"What?" Eric demanded.

The chief tried to resist the pain, but he couldn't. "He's planning to rip this planet and all the people! I don't know how he's doing it! Honsetly!"

"Well, that's the reason why I gave you the worms," said Eric. "Thank you for cooperating." He wriggled his finger around and the viruses went down a big hole.

Bugs was confused. "Did ya just – "

"Nope, I just sent those worms through a wormhole to a virus-ish planet for them to live on," Eric told him. "And it's galaxies away so they won't cause any harm." Then he turned to the audience. "Now _this_ is how you get rid of computer viruses, kids."

"Do they still have the worms?" asked Choc.

"Well, every planet needs a worm to help the environment, don't they?"

Then the whole city rumbled and rumbled more than before. The buildings, the trees and the mountains were being pulled up to the sky and into a black hole!

"How could Jack create such a black hole?" thought Eric.

Then the streets and the skies were also being pulled into the black hole. The Neos screamed their heads off and began to run, but Eric put his hand out and everyone froze like statues. They couldn't move

"Everyone, please remain calm," said Eric. Then he whistled like an air raid siren and about a dozen grey ships – in all shapes and sizes – similar to _Battlestar Galatica's_ Colonial ships appeared above them. They hovered above them. A blue light from the biggest one shot down and landed on the floor next to Eric. The light grew to be a hologram of President Dobt.

"Mr. Epic, there are only five hundred seats on each ship," Dobt told Eric.

"There's no way we can save all 7.8 billion Neos!" Danny pointed out.

"There is one way," said Eric. Then he put scratched his chin as he thought. "7.8 billion times five hundred equals…"

There were more ships in the sky than there were stars in space.

"…enough ships," Eric finished with a satisfied smile.

One by one, all the Neos were teleporting off the planet like mad.

"We've got everything, Mr. Epic," Dobt reported to Eric. "We've got all the Neos, including the animals and the prisoners."

"Help! Help!" cried a female voice.

"Clive!" cried Bugs, Danny and Sweet Corn exclaimed. They had forgotten all about it.

"Mr. President, take off!" Eric ordered. "We'll find our own way out."

"Thank you, Mr. Epic," said Dobt. "And I hope someday you will – will – will – " His hologram was going static and it went off completely.

"Right, guys, time for you to do your part of the deal," said Eric, running to the prison.

"Eh, ya knew about dat?" asked Bugs.

"You think nothing happens to you without me knowing?" said Eric. "I know Danny can't really climb mountains in thirty seconds. It was the editor using fast motion to make you look good."

"Or embarrassed, looking at it that way," moaned Danny.

* * *

><p>Eric and his friends ran to the prison and saw the cell Clive Boun was in. In his hand a bowling ball appeared and he threw it to the bars. CLANG! All the bars were clear. Eric and Bugs helped Clive out.<p>

"Clive Boun at wizard's service," smiled Clive, as she was free.

"Eric Epic," Eric said. "Hey, how do you know I'm a wizard?"

"Well, Clive's not stupid," snapped Clive. "Clive saw Eric do his spells to free her out of here."

"And me too!" cried a voice that everyone knew very well. The figure climbed out of the cell.

"Marvin the Martian!" everyone cried.

"Everyone knows Clive's cellmate?" cried Clive.

"How did ya get 'ere?" Bugs yelled at his old foe.

"I crash-landed here," said Marvin, "then I was arrested not because I was different, but because I crash-landed on a farm and destroyed their house. Why are they complaining? No one was killed and all the trapped animals were free.

"Anyway, thanks for freeing me and in the nick of time, too." Marvin got out a remote and pressed it. His green ship hovered above him and beamed him up. Then the ship took off! But Eric and his friends were _not_ a bit surprised, as they knew Marvin wasn't the most generous alien in the universe.

"Maybe he'll save us one day in the future when all hope appears to be gone, which is not _today_," thought Eric. Then he turned to Clive. "Clive, do you have a ship?"

"No," replied Clive. "And judging by how much of this planet we have left – " Which was only half. " – the closet we have to a ship is – "

* * *

><p>"A junkyard!" moaned Danny. "Why it's always junkyards?"<p>

But Clive was right. If there was ever a place to a find a ship, with only about an eight of the planet left, it would be the junkyard.

"I "assome" the plan dis to find broken ship pieces and we built dem together to build a space ship," said Bugs.

"Nope," smiled Eric. "That's too obvious. All we need is…" He bent down and picked up something. "…this!"

"An uncompleted wooden… wood?" Danny laughed his head off. "It ain't got no engines."

"It doesn't even have a nose!" pointed out Choc.

"Maybe it could get away with lies unlike Pinocchio," Sweet Corn chuckled.

Eric rubbed his hands on the wood and it turned into a space shuttle.

"That's great, Doc," said Bugs. "But it's like a toy space shuttle."

"Well, just hop in," said Eric.

Bugs still couldn't understand him, but he was his new best friend and he trusted him. He hopped over the space shuttle and, very strangely, he was in the cockpit. "Start the engines, Bugs," a large Eric commanded through the windscreens. The grey rabbit did.

Back on the outside, Eric ordered his friends, including Clive to hop in the shuttle. They thought he was crazy but they did. Finally, the wizard jumped in and they were flying away into space, with the planet and the black hole solar systems behind them.

"Mission accomplished everyone!" Eric cried happily. "We're alive, we escaped an exploding planet and we saved an entire population!"

"We didn't get the Orb, though," moaned Trolley.

"Didn't we?" Eric reached into his pocket and pulled out the Orb.

"How did you get it?" asked Choc.

"It was Tricky Spell No. 12," Eric explained. "It was so tricky I didn't know _I_ could do it, even though I did. But I couldn't do it without any of you guys. And that includes you, Clive."

"Thanks, Mr. Epic," said Clive.

"So what did you get arrested for?" he asked.

"Clive was an orphan from the age of seven and she was living on the streets," said Clive. "Then, one day, when she was seventeen, Clive was walking in the Ghulanger Forest and then she saw something. A giant metal boiler from Planet Earth! Clive went for a closer look and saw it was actually a machine Jack Epic made that could create a black hole. It was just powering but Clive decided to try to deactivate it, but she was taken by soldiers. Clive tried to tell everyone that it was Jack, but no one would take a Neo's word against the word of Jack and Clive was found guilty and sentenced to life imprisonment. For five years…"

"Guys, I hate to interrupt but we got incomin'!" cried Bugs in the cockpit.

Everyone looked through the cockpit and saw a missile coming! There was no way of avoiding it and no way could Eric do a quick spell.

Clive looked at the computer. "Impact in five… Four… Three… Two… One…"


	12. You Ain't the Only Mermaid! Or Are You?

Dia gasped. She saw that she was in her room in her grand bed. She was glad she didn't wake anyone up. Zack and the toons were still sleeping soundly. Except Lola who just gasped too.

"You dreamed of Bugs getting hit by a missile?" Dia whispered to Lola.

"With your wizard friend in space? Yeah."

Dia checked the time on her clock. "Well, it's about time I got up." She put her glasses on, jumped into her techno jeans and starting walking to the door.

"I'll give you a hand," said Lola as she got out of bed.

"I don't need any more hands," said Dia. "I need a leg or two." She laughed at her joke as they walked out.

* * *

><p>"It's five in the morning," yawned Lola, as she was getting the shell-made plates ready on about a dozen rusty crates, acting like an enormous grand table.<p>

"Don't worry," said Dia, as she was making the porridge in a pan over the stove. "Just because I'm still a British mermaid doesn't mean I'm still on English time."

"No, that's not what I meant," said Lola. "I think it's so abusive of your family to treat you this way."

"That's the only reason they adopted me and Nell," Dia told her, pouring the porridge in the bowls. "So we could do servants' work without paying. We never even had pocket money. The only things they ever got me were these glasses."

"Why not just run away?" Lola suggested.

"Where would I go?" asked Dia. "Nobody else would have wanted a mermaid at all. Come to think about it, I haven't seen another mermaid for a long while. I think I might be going extinct."

"Oh, just like your lobster soup yesterday?" laughed the mean voice of Dia's stepmother.

Lola quickly hid inside an empty cupboard, as Dia's stepfamily sat at the table. Dia quickly served them the porridge. Just as she was about to walk away –

"Ew!" snapped the stepfamily.

"Are you trying to poison me, Dia?" yelled her stepbrother.

"Yes, I am," Dia smiled cockily.

"So you want us to starve?" yelled the stepfather.

"Us – the only family who took you in when no one else would have a mermaid?" screamed her stepfather.

"If I'm a rare mermaid," went on Dia, "you should treat me the way you treat your father's grand chair – safe and protected."

"Are you telling us how to raise you?" the stepfather yelled. Then he sighed. "I don't have time for you now. I'm late! I'm going!"

"Me too!" The stepbrother got up and hopped away.

"And you'd better cook something better than this for dinner tonight," warned the stepmother as she hopped out.

"Is the coast clear?" asked Daffy from outside the room.

"Yes," Lola told him, climbing out of the cupboard, who had kept an eye on the mean dolphins the whole time.

Then all the toons came rushing in to eat the porridge.

"This is really g-g-g-g… Excellent" exclaimed Porky. All the toons agreed with him.

Nell hopped to Dia, followed by Zack.

"I saw the whole thing!" Zack exclaimed happily. "You take no nonsense from them! Just like I do with my police buddies."

"Well, seeing you again have given me a lot more confidence," smiled Dia.

"Dia!" yelled the stepfather's voice. "Come down to the port and bring Nell with you!"

Dia sighed. "Come on, Nell."

Nell hopped onto Dia's back as the techno jeans walked them out of the room.

"Come on, guys," Zack cried to the toons.

The toons wondered what was going on but they followed their captain anyway. They went into the elevator and it went down quietly. They saw the dolphins had spotted _Chip_ and were looking at Dia.

"You didn't tell me you had a ship on your own," said the stepfather. "How much did it cost?"

Dia knew there could be no explanation at all. So she just remained silent.

"Well, no matter," said the stepmother. "You and Nell are going to escort us to work on your ship. And hurry!"

Dia and Nell climbed aboard _Chip_.

"Sorry about this, _Chip_," said Dia.

"Never mind me," said _Chip_. "What about the Captain and the toons?"

"Hey, they're the Looney Tunes and the Tiny Toons," said Dia. "If anyone can find a way to catch up with us, it's them. And they don't even need to do it together."

Back in the elevator, the toons looked unsure about what Dia said. "Anyone got any ideas?" asked Daffy.

"A practical but unsatisfying one," said Zack.

* * *

><p>"<em>This<em> is the best idea you guys could come up with to catch up with us?" moaned Dia. "By acting as stowaways?"

"We ain't 'towaways'," said Tweety. "We're 'tolunteers'. All of us, not just this putty tat."

"This is _our_ ship, anyway," pointed out Daffy.

"Besides, your stepbrother's a pop star," added Plucky. "We'll be going to a concert."

"Yeah, a concert that's for like fans of modern pop stars like Miley Cyrus, Justin Bieber and the Jonas Brothers," pointed out Dia. "You show your faces, no one will notice you at all, especially sea-life creatures who don't watch cartoons."

"What?" exclaimed Plucky.

"Yes, I'm afraid the world has changed since we last saw you guys in 1995," Dia went on.

"Hey, Dia, where did you find this crew?" the stepbrother shouted at her, throwing the plum juice and glasses at the Tiny Toons, who were serving them.

"This is the worst crew ever!" snapped the stepmother. "No wonder they got cancelled after three seasons!"

"Can't we get one good thing here?" snapped the stepfather, who was on a deckchair on the bow. Then a giant bag of gold coins was thrown next to him. "Hey, who threw that?" he yelled to the crew.

"Me, mate," said a charming Australian voice.

The stepfather turned back around and saw a handsome live-action merman with blonde hair and a green tail.

"What do you want?" the stepfather asked.

"Is that enough sunken treasure coins to have your mermaid daughter in marriage?" asked the merman.

The stepfather inspected the coins and grinned at the merman. "Dia! Come here!" he called.

Dia sighed and walked in her techno jeans to her stepfather. Zack and the rest of the toons stopped working and watched her.

"Meet your fiancé," ordered the stepfather.

"Hey, beautiful," said the merman charmingly. "What's your name?"

"My name's Diamond," Dia told him, playing along with the scheme _if_ it was one.

"That's my favourite name," smiled the merman. "Especially if you and I are the last merfolk in the world."

The last merfolk? Dia was getting suspicious. But she still decided to play along. "Well," she said, getting her seductive act on, "I suppose you and I must save the species." She put her arms around the merman.

The toons couldn't believe Dia was falling for the trick.

"_Je ne le crois pas!_" exclaimed Fifi. "What is Dia doing?"

"Trust her, Fifi," said Zack. "She knows what she's doing."

The merman went in for the kiss and Dia let him.

"What are you doing?" yelled Zack.

Then the merman laughed with his left arm sticking out. Suddenly and strangely, he went fuzzy and standing in his place was John Epic wearing black swim shorts.

"Nice try, John!" snapped Dia. "But even with those techno disguises, you can't fool me. I even knew you're arm pits would be hairy and sweaty."  
>"Eww!" moaned the toons.<p>

"John!" snapped another voice. It belonged to Jim who just climbed up on deck. "I can't even trust you with the disguises and fake voices!"

"FYI, while everyone was distracted by my act, those Neos have searched the whole ship," John protested.

Out of the kitchen, the Neo Army arrived and walked to the Epic Twins.

"Sir, we have found no trace of the Acme Orb or the blue bunny," the Major reported.

Everyone looked around to see that Buster wasn't around. And Dia couldn't seem to find Nell, either.

"Impossible!" screamed Jim. Then he turned to Zack. "Where is Buster, O'Marrows?"

"You underestimate these toons, Jim," snapped Zack. "And one day they'll get the better of you."

"Yeah, tell that to Bugs Bunny," said Jim. "Oh! Wait. You can't!"

"What do you mean?" yelled Lola angrily.

"I mean your fluffy lover boy's a fluffy lover dodo now!" said Jim. "Along with Eric!"

"You lie!" yelled Dia.

Jim chucked a tiny screen to Zack and he, Dia and the toons saw Eric, Bugs and their puppets friends on the space shuttle they were on. They saw the missile coming up and hitting the shuttle. They were totally upset, especially Lola who burst into tears.

"Why would we give up the Acme Orb if you did this?" asked Zack.

"Because your sorcerer friend isn't here to help you," smiled Jim evilly. "Now where is Buster Bunny?"


	13. How Many More Chases Do we Have to do?

Not even Buster himself knew where he was. He was lying down. He yawned and stretched himself. He got up and started to move. SLASPH! He pulled his head out of the sea. The sea? He climbed himself back on the surfboard he was lying on. He was wearing red swim shorts.

"Don't ask me, Toonsters," he said to the audience. "I'm away from my friends, I'm in the middle of open water and I'm getting sunburnt. Who knows what could be out there?"

"Me, for a start," said a female ten-year-old Australian voice belonging to someone who jumped on the other end of his surfboard.

"Hi, Nell," said Buster. Then he gasped. "Nell?"

"Let me explain, Buster," she said. "A: I can talk, as you noticed. B: I took you out here away from our friends because those CGI soldiers who are after you have taken over _Chip_ and C: - "

"My friends are still on _Chip_?" exclaimed Buster. "And they are with – I've got to help them."

"Think about it, Buster!" said Nell. "They only want you and the orb you're carrying. Our friends will be saved and let alone when they discover that you're not on _Chip_… Which appears to be now."

And she was right. A Neo Fleet of speedboats circled around them.

"What do we do now, Nell?" asked Buster, who didn't trust Nell at the moment. He couldn't see her at the moment. Then he and his board were up in the air. They flipped over the fleet. They landed about fifty yards away from them. Then Nell appeared in front of him.

"Yes, it _was_ me who did that," she said, "but what else could I do?"

"That was… awesome!" smiled Buster. Then they heard the fleet coming behind them. "Let's go!"

Nell jumped up and down in front, followed by Buster swimming on his board.

The speedboats were gaining on them.

"Your sister's really cool and she's a real true fan," Buster cried to Nell, "but you mustn't follow her every move. It could – "

"Dia didn't tell me to do this," Nell told him. "I thought of this by myself and, in answer to your next question, I'm making it up as I go along."  
>CGI bullets nearly got them. Then Nell swam to the left. "Keep going straight on!" she ordered.<p>

"What? Where are you going?" But suddenly Buster was gaining a trusting feeling for this weird dolphin. He headed straight on. Then he turned his head to see Nell jumping over the fleet of speedboat, dodging the bullets in the process. She didn't need to do it twice.

"She's not a dolphin, she's a daredevil," Buster said to the audience.

Then Nell appeared next to him. "That was no daredevil stunt," she said. "Any dolphin could find a way for them to run out of ammo."

"Yeah, but that's not stopping them," Buster told her.

Nell turned and saw that he was right. About fifty Neos, wearing wetsuits, were on surfboards and coming after them.

"They seem to be going fast and appear to be water-proof for a bunch of computer people," said Nell.

"Well, they're completely covered up," Buster said, "whereas you're wearing a dress and I'm just in my – "

"Let's not talk about stuff that's gonna be censored," said Nell. "Besides here's our chance to lose them."

"What?" Buster felt like he was going from horizontal to vertical. He saw he was falling down a giant tidal wave. He quickly stood up and rode the wave. Above him it was raining Neo surfers who had lost their balance and fell of their boards.

"That's not all of them, surfing Tony Hawk," Nell reported, jumping next to the blue bunny. "There's more behind us!"

"We can lose them on the big waves there," said Buster. "Let's go!"

Buster and Nell charged for the giant tidal waves, followed by the Neo surfers. Buster and Nell rode the waves like mad. For the chasing surfers, it was like standing on dodge cars and they were moving. They fell into the giant waves.

* * *

><p>Buster and Nell arrived at a nice, warm and white-sand cartoon beach.<p>

"That was the coolest thing that ever happened to me, Nell!" Buster smiled as he got off the board.

"Well, being Dia's companion helped me a lot," said Dia modestly.

Then singing could be heard.

"That doesn't sound like siren singing," said Nell.

Buster looked around too. He thought it was coming from behind a rock. Buster gestured Nell to go on the ride side of the rock. Buster went to the left side of the rock and peered over. He quickly grabbed…

"Hey!" cried Babs, wearing an orange bikini top and a golden mermaid tail.

"You know you look more like a worm on a hook than a mermaid," said Buster.

"Get a life, Buster!" shouted Babs. "Put me down!"

Buster let go.

"You've got a lot of nerve running away from us when we're trying to protect you," Babs went on.

"It wasn't him," Nell interrupted. "It was me. And if you think he was running off with me like when you ran off with that new student as Acme Loo, it's nothing like that at you."

"Is that what all this madness is about?" asked Babs angrily. "Me spending time with that new guy, Bucky Bunny?"

"I assumed that green bunny dance expert student was just a friend," said Buster. "But I saw you spending more time with him and even going out with him."  
>"You've been spying on me all this time?"<p>

"Like you'd know," scoffed Buster. "While you and Bucky were dance students for Louie Finn, I was a grade A+ student for spy comedy. Which make me the perfect part for this role in the story, don't you think?" he said to the audience. Then he turned back to the pink bunny. "Anyway, yes, I followed you every night until that night you and Bucky went to out for dinner and kissed!"

Nell had enough of their arguing so she hopped away. There she bumped into Plucky and Hamton. "How'd you guys get here?" she asked.

* * *

><p><em>About thirty minutes ago, Zack and the rest of <em>Chip_'s crew still didn't know what to do. They couldn't find Buster or Nell. And they were still upset about the fact that Eric Epic and Bugs Bunny might be dead._

_Then Zack had an idea. "Hey, Jim, here's Buster with the Acme Orb," he cried, chucking something that looked like Buster to him. John caught it._

_"Yeah, we've got him!" cheered John. "We've got him, men!"_

_The Neo Army cheered. _

_"HOLD IT!" yelled Jim. "John, does that look like Buster Bunny to you?"_

_"Well, he's blue and he's wearing his red jumper," John said._

_"Yes, but he's not moving and he's not breathing, is he?" snapped Jim._

_"Are you sure?" asked John. "He feels all nice and soft, so he must be alive."_

"_John, THAT'S NOT BUSTER BUNNY!" his twin brother yelled. "THAT'S JUST A DOLL VERSION OF HIM! This was all a little trick to – "_

_He saw Zack, Dia and the toons were not there._

_"Now look what you've done!" yelled Jim, smacking his brother's head._

_"Me? What did I do?"_

_Then Jim turned to the Neo Army. "And look what you boys have done, too!"_

_"What did we do, sir?" asked the Major._

_"You let O'Marrows and his friends take your teleport devices off you!" Jim told him._

_"Not true, sir," said the Major. He turned to the men. "Men, let's teleport away!"_

_He and his men, without looking, used their fingers to push on their teleport devices, only it wasn't there._

_Jim sighed, snatched a gun from the nearest Neo soldier and hit his forehead with it a few times. _

* * *

><p>"…so we three decide to follow you and Buster here instead of back to <em>Chip<em>," finished Hamton.

"When you say 'we', do you mean… it was just Babs?" whispered Hamton.

Plucky and Hamton checked on Babs, who was still arguing with Buster. Then Hamton said, "She won't tell us why, but she made us come here."

"But, at least, we're safe," smiled Plucky. "Sunshine, cool breeze and not a soul for miles."  
>"Yeah, more like three dozen soldiers under seventy-five paces," said Nell.<p>

"What!" exclaimed Plucky. He saw a squad of Neo soldiers running on the beach towards them… now fifty paces away.

"Run!" ordered Plucky. He and Hamton ran.

The bunnies were still having their heated conversation. Nell grabbed them. "Sorry to interrupt, but they're here."

The boys were running and the girls were hopping as fast as they could. Hamton looked behind. "It's no use! They're gaining on us!"

"Stop!" Nell yelled and they all did. "I've got an idea."

The Neo Squad followed the toons' tracks. Then they were forced to stop. They came up across three houses. No, it wasn't the three little pigs' houses. It was a house made out of sand, a beach hut and a beach house.

"Check all three!" ordered the sergeant of the squad.

They checked the giant sand house first, only for it to get knocked down. They found nothing.

Then they checked the posh beach house. They turned everything upside down yet found nothing.

"All's left is the beach hut," said one of the soldiers.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" yelled the sergeant. "Get 'em!"

The soldiers ran for the beach hut, but colourful shines blocked their eyes. They put sunglasses on to see about a thousand balloons coming out of the roof of the hut. They saw the hut even lifting from the ground. It hovered above the Neo Army who were so bemused, yet amazed that they forgot their job, even the sergeant. Then his phone rang.

"Hello," he answered.

"Have you got the Acme Orb yet, Sergeant?" asked the Major's voice.

"No, sir, it's in the sky in a flying hut with balloons on it," smiled the Sergeant calmly.

* * *

><p>"Let's all split into groups with one tech scanner per group!" ordered the Major. "Let's move!"<p>

The Neo Soldiers ran back to speedboats, followed by Jim and John.

On the only people left on _Chip_ was the dolphin family.

"Hey, what about us?" demanded the stepmother.

"What are we, seaweed?" yelled the stepfather.

"No, you're sand at the bottom of the sea," said _Chip_. "And here's your stop."

"Oh, finally!" moaned the stepson.

They dolphins got off. They saw that they were now stranded on a rock. It was too late to call _Chip_ back now.

"I'm clear now, guys," said _Chip_, holding a microphone on his face.

Then – out of a flash – Zack, Dia and the toons came back.

"Well done, _Chip_," said Zack. "These teleport devices we took from the Epics' Army really did the trick. Now, is everyone present?"

"Zack," said Dia. "There's only…"

Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, Sylvester and Tweety.

"Where are the others then?" asked Zack.

"We don't know!" snapped Daffy. "We teleported and came back as you ordered. There was no one else there."

"'Though we did manage to take a radio from the 'temeny's' camp we entered," said Tweey, holding a radio.

Zack took it and turned it on.

"Get those planes in the sky and shoot that house with balloons down now!" the Major ordered.

"Oh, no," cried Dia. "We've got to get to them before they take their spoof too far."

* * *

><p>"What I don't understand is why I have to be the damsel in distress," Plucky's voice said through the hut in the sky.<p>

"Because the bird _is_ the damsel in the movie we're spoofing and _you're_ the only bird on this hut," Nell's voice explained.

The door opened and Plucky came out not in green, but in blue. He looked exactly like Kevin the bird from the movie _Up_, only with his white tank top still on.

Then Plucky noticed the audience. "I know you guys are watching everything, but I was hoping you wouldn't notice this."

"Oh, gee, Plucky, it ain't so bad," said a mechanic voice. Plucky turned around to see Hamton covered up with Golden Retriever fur. He even had a collar. "They say this is one of the best movies that's been out for a while." The voice came not from his mouth but from his collar, just like Dug the dog from the movie.

"Well, I beg to differ," said Buster, who was dressed up in a boy scout's uniform filling the role for Russell. He was outside and panicking as he looked down, remembering his fear of flying.

"Sorry I didn't warn you, Buster," said Nell, hoping out dressed as the Pixar lamp. "But I had to think and act quickly at the same time. Besides, you're acting just like your character did when the house in the movie took off. He was just as scared."

"I don't blame him," said Buster.

"But why do we have to dress up like the characters?" asked Plucky.

"Because if those Neo soldiers are thick as you say they are, they'll believe we are the characters and they won't suspect us," Nell replied.

"All right," Buster sighed. "But you might wanna watch for – "

"Ah, ha, ha, ha!" heckled an old woman's voice. It came from Babs, who wore her glasses, a brown jacket and a brown skirt. She even had a cane with four tennis balls on them. "Well, don't just stand there!" she went on. "Help this old woman, who goes by the name of Carlisle Frederickson, get her house to – Where does the house go to in the movie?" she asked Nell in the strange old woman's voice.

"To a South African waterfall called Paradise Falls," Nell explained, "and, in _your_ case – not that you pack anything – you're doing this for your late husband, Eddie Frederickson."

"Guys!" said Hamton's collar. "We've got incoming!"

Everyone looked ahead. There was a squad of Neo planes coming towards them.

"Act natural!" ordered Nell. And they did.

The Neo planes surprisingly slowed down.

"Major," said the Captain of the air squad.

"What is it, Captain?" asked the Major's voice.

"We have found it," said the Captain, "in a city of flying huts with balloons. We can't tell which one is which. Even the people who live in each one look similar."

"Well, find it!" ordered the Major's voice. And the radio was cut off.

The planes did their best as they flew through each flying hut on balloons. The huts and the balloons were all different colours but the people on the huts – who were all dressed up as an elderly person, a boy scout, a bird and a Golden Retriever – were all the same.

The planes slowly passed the Tiny Toons. After a while, nothing was to be seen or heard.

Everyone 'phewed'.

"Well, that seems to be over," said Hamton's collar.

"Then let's land!" cried a still-scared Buster. "I've had more than I can – "

BANG! About half the balloons were shot and the hut was falling!

Everyone was screaming. Nell hopped back in the hut and started turning the ropes that were controlling the hut.

"Look!" exclaimed Plucky. "There's a blue thing we can land on."

Buster, Babs and Hamton looked down. "That blue thing being water," pointed out Babs in her normal voice.

"So?"

"You can't land on water, Plucky!" snapped Buster. "You'll get squished!"  
>"Let me try!" said Plucky.<p>

"I don't think so, Plucky," cried Nell, who was looking at a map. "I've got a better place."

Nell gave the hut a sudden jerk, but the Tiny Toons were happy when they came over an island.

"That's it, Nell!" cried Buster happily. "Just a little lower."  
>Then the Tiny Toons fell off the hut as all the balloons were popped.<p>

Down and down they fell! They screamed and had their eyes closed. Then, without looking, Buster, then Babs, then Plucky and finally Hamton felt something and grabbed it. Buster saw he was holding onto something like a rope but it was grey and scaly. He saw below Hamton was a light bulb on it. He looked down and saw they were approaching the ground.

"Here's our stop, guys," said Buster to his friends. "Jump!"

Still without looking, they all jumped off. They couldn't find the thing they were holding onto that dropped them to the sandy ground.

"Where's Nell?" asked Buster.

"Where are we?" asked Hamton's collar.

"What's that?" cried Plucky.

He was pointing to a lake nearby them and out of it came something wearing a diver's mask and a pink and white bikini top and black briefs with a scuba diving tank on its back. Something else came wearing a diver's mask and a scuba diving tank on its back but wearing a green swimsuit.

The Tiny Toons screamed and began to wait.

The first figure took out its diving regular. "Wait, guys! It's us!" cried a female voice.

The Tiny Toons stopped. "Lola?"

"What happened?" asked Babs.

Lola Bunny and the second figure, who was Melissa Duck, came out of the lake and started taking their scuba diving equipment off.

"Well…" they began together.

* * *

><p><em>After they teleported away from <em>Chip, _they landed on a Neo ship. And they were in the hanger of the ship with submarines hanging above them._

_"Why'd we come here then?" asked Melissa._

_"Maybe it's because I don't know how to work this remote!" snapped Lola._

_Then footsteps coming down could be heard._

_"Quick, Melissa," said Lola. "We have to escape."_

_"But how?" asked the duck._

_Lola looked around. "Follow my idea!"_

_"How can I do that if I don't know what you're thinking?" asked Melissa._

_"Just do what I do," sighed Lola._

_Soon Neo soldiers arrived. "All right, let's get those submarines in the water!" ordered the commander. "Today, people!"_

_Soon the first submarine was ready. It was being lowered down. No one seemed to know that underneath the submarine a beautiful rabbit wearing a bikini and scuba diving equipment and a blonde duck wearing a swimsuit and scuba diving equipment. Except one big, fat, stupid Neo who was directing the crane where to drop the submarine. He saw them and they gave him a 'shush' finger sign._

_The Neo nodded and turned to his commander. He passed on the 'shush' sign to the commander, who was most annoyed._

_"Who are you telling 'shush'?" the commander yelled, grabbing him by the collar. "Who told you to tell me to 'shush'?"_

_The stupid Neo pointed to Lola and Melissa at the bottom of the submarine before they were taken down._

_"Get after them!" ordered the commander._

_Down below, Lola and Melissa were swimming as fast as they could._

_"This is faster than taking the sub!" exclaimed Melissa through her breathing regulator._

_"Yeah!" agreed Lola. "But not as faster as them!"_

_In front of them came a whole squad of underwater motorbikes operated by Neos. They gave chase! The toon girls tried to swim away, but the Neos were catching up. Then Melissa had an idea. "Head for that seaweed forest!" she ordered. Lola followed her. _

_The Neos followed them too. They saw the toons were getting deeper and deeper into the seaweed. The brainless Neos tried to get that low too, without realising the tall seaweed was entering and jamming their engines. The bikes stopped and the Neos fell off, only to be wrapped in seaweed, like files in spiders' web. _

_Then the toon girls swam away from the forest and came up to land…_

* * *

><p>"…where we met you guys," Melissa finished. She and Lola were back in their normal clothes.<p>

"Wow! Like, that was totally awesome," said a thick valley accent.

Everyone turned around to see Shirley and Fifi behind them.

"How long have you girls been here for?" asked Lola.

"_Sur_ thirty seconds," replied Fifi.

"Now how about your story?" said Melissa.

* * *

><p><em>When Zack, Dia and the other toons sneaked on the Neo soldiers and stole their teleports devices away to sneak away, Shirley quickly grabbed Fifi and, when the good guys teleported away, Shirley used her powers to float away.<em>

_"This is, how do you say, the life!" screamed Fifi happily._

_"Oh, yeah!" agreed Shirley._

_Then Fifi heard a noise behind her and looked behind. It was a fleet of the Neos' own hoverbikes. They were each different coloured, but all darkened, fire-breathing dragon shaped and the fastest machines on Earth due their fast engines that make them go faster than Earth's fastest rockets. Yet they did not seem to be fast enough to catch the flying Shirley._

_"Like, they can't catch up with me, if they totally tried," boasted Shirley._

_"Which they are," Fifi pointed out, seeing the hoverbikes were coming up after them, now with the engines roaring louder than the dragon._

_But Shirley's aura had different ideas. It came out of her body and charged for the hoverbikes. It stopped, got out a mallet and knocked each and every hoverbike down with it. One by one, the Neos fell into the sea._

_With its work done, Shirley's aura flew back into the flying Shirley where she and Fifi approached the island where they caught up with their friends._

* * *

><p>"So all we need is <em>Chip<em>, Zack, Dia, Daffy, Porky, Sylvester and Tweety," said Lola.

"But where could they be?" asked Melissa.

BOOM! They heard an explosion nearby, followed by gunfire and jet-ski engines.

"That could be them!" exclaimed Hamton.

"Then let's go!" yelled Buster.

The Tiny Toons followed the path to where the sound was coming from. Lola and Melissa followed.

"Don't go too far now!" Lola cried to them.

"Ah, what's the use?" asked Melissa. "They're not at Acme Loo anymore."

The toons came to end of a cliff. On the other side, there was a giant waterfall. Far from it, they could see _Chip_ sailing away with Daffy, Porky, Sylvester and Tweety, while Neos on jet-skis were chasing Zack and Dia who had stole one of the Neos' jet-skis.

"Are you sure we trust _Chip_ and the toons not to be captured?" asked Zack, as he steered the machine.

"Yes!" Dia yelled. "I've given them directions and instructions! Now here are yours! Head for that waterfall!"

"WHAT?" exclaimed Zack and the toons on the other side of the waterfall all at once.

"Just do it!" Dia ordered.

Zack went for the waterfall. Beneath them, the rapids were getting rougher the further they went and behind them were the squad of jet-skis getting closer.

"Turn 180 degrees!" yelled Dia.

Zack did so. The Neo jet-skiers pass them and went over the waterfall.

On the other side, the toons cheered.

"If they watched us," said Melissa, "we must have taught them so well."

"Better than these kids have ever learned from us," whispered Lola.

"We heard that!" snapped Babs.

But it wasn't over for Dia and Zack. A fleet of giant helicopters hovered above them with Neo soldiers holding guns at them.

Zack looked behind him. "You ever jumped off a waterfall before?"

"Oh, no," said Dia.

"Can you think of anything better?" he asked. He didn't wait for her to think. He turned the jet-ski around and charged for the waterfall.

"What are they doing?" asked Lola.

Then the toons were surprised and shocked, when the jet-ski jumped off the waterfall and Zack and Dia jumped off!

"Now no one can catch us now!" said a cocky Zack.

Dia looked below. "Then how do you describe that?"

Zack looked down and saw another giant helicopter was below them. A hatch opened and Neos drew their weapons at them.

Then the live-action duo vanished into thin air.

Everyone was shocked.

"Oh, no!" cried Hamton. "Where did they go?"

"Right behind you, oddly enough," said Dia's voice.

The toons turned around and saw Dia and Zack next to them.

"How did you get there?" asked Lola.

"No idea," said Zack and Dia together.

"From Clive," said a female voice. Behind the live-action duo, a light flashed and there stood a CGI person in a spacesuit that was completely made out of metal. It reached for a blue button. Zack and Dia drew out their swords and the toons drew out their mallets, dynamites and other toon weapons. The figure pressed the blue button anyway. The good guys charged for the figure when out of the suit came two holograms.

"Eric!" exclaimed Zack.

"Bugs!" exclaimed Lola.

Everyone was happy that they were alive. The holograms vanished. They now saw a CGI woman with the suit off. She was wearing a white tank top and black shorts with brown socks and grey mountain boots.

"Yes, Clive was there with Eric and Bugs when the space shuttle was blown up," said Clive Boun.

"So how did you escape?" asked Zack.

"Eric used his spells to teleport everyone away," Clive replied. "Before Eric sent Clive here, Eric told Clive to find the Acme Orb before the rest of the Neos do. And Clive has found it…" She was showing everyone her tracker and it was pointing to Buster.

"Is blue bunny related to… ?" Clive whispered to Dia.

"No, he's just Bugs Bunny's greatest admirer or fan," Dia whispered back. "Or so he thinks. Because _I_ am."

"Ah, ha!" cried a voice. They all turned around to see three soldiers standing next to them.

"Look!" cried the leader of the three. "Hopcon's Most Wanted, Eric's friends and favourite toons all together! Lord Epic will delighted."

They drew their weapons. Then – BOOM! A giant hut fell on top of them. And on top of the broken hut was…

"Nell!" cried Dia.

"Better late never ever, eh?" she smiled.

Dia was annoyed with her sister. "What do you mean, by running off – "

"Cool it down, Dia," interrupted Buster. "She helped me to avoid getting captured."

"By spoofing _Up_?" laughed Zack.

"We were spoofing up what?" asked Plucky.

"I don't know!" Babs said still in her elderly voice. "But whatever movie it was, it must be – "

"Babs, you've stopped spoofing," said Dia. "You're not even in the clothes anymore."  
>" – a really – " Babs stopped and saw she was in her normal clothes. Then she saw Buster, Plucky and Hamton were, too. "Oh!" she said, feeling embarrassed.<p>

"HELP! HELP!" cried a loud Irish voice.

"It's _Chip_!" cried Zack. "Everyone, follow me!"

And they did, except Dia who had to hop, because she forgot all about her techno jeans.

"Put this on," said Clive, as she put a backpack on Dia.

"How does this - ?" Dia's question was answered as she was hovering above the ground. She turned around to see a CGI jet-pack on her back.

Then Dia saw Clive wobbling. "In return, can Dia hold Clive's hand?" she asked.

Dia looked embarrassed.

"It's not that!" Clive snapped. "This Earth is very different to Hopcon."

Dia took it and helped her walk.

* * *

><p>The good guys came out of the forest. Zack and Dia were laughing their heads off.<p>

Clive and the toons were puzzled.

"What's so funny?" asked Buster.

They saw _Chip _standard on the beach. He was being attacked by the bushrats with their spears. They just found it so hilarious.

"Take this, you lousy pests!" Daffy said, getting out a sack of rat poison.

"Daffy, put that poison away!" ordered Zack.

"But they're – "

"Just misunderstood little creatures," said Zack. "Now put it away."  
>Daffy did so. Past him was Sylvester who jumped off <em>Chip<em>. He started chasing the bushrats. "Come 'ere, you little – "

"Why did I do to 'terserve' this?" moaned Tweey on the back of Sylvester.

"Oh, no, you don't!" shouted Dia, picking up Sylvester by the back. He put him down. "Bad kitty!"

"Think she could be our new granny?" Sylvester asked Tweety.

"She ain't far off," said Tweety.

Porky was still on _Chip_. "Maybe this will make ne – Ne – Go – peace between the rats," he said. He got out a bit of cheese and chuck it to the bushrats. One caught it and ate a bit.

"This tangy butter is delicious," he said in bushrat language.

Then the other bushrats tried to take it from him and that started a big fight.

"Porky, chuck me the cheese!" ordered Zack. Porky did. Zack turned to the bushrats. "Hey, guys, you want more?" He threw it so far it landed on the other side of the beach. The bushrats ran for it.

Porky and Daffy jumped off _Chip_ and met up with the rest of the toons.

"Where are we?" asked Dia.

"Well, I haven't seen much episodes of this Looney Tune show," said Zack, "but I'd say we're on the island on Tazmaina."

"Taz?" said the toons. "As in the Tasmanian Devil?"

"Afraid so," said Zack.

Then rustling can be heard. It came from the bushes. Everyone feared for the worst. Something came out. It was a Tasmanian Wolf! It was Wendal T. Wolf.

"Hello, my new friends," said Wendal.

"Hi, Wendal," smiled Zack nervously. He shook hands with the wolf.

"Where do you guys come from?" asked Wendal. "Are you from America or England or Australia?" Then he turned to _Chip_. "Wow! Is this your ship? I know one or two things about ships. I used to be a cabin wolf on the H.M.S. _Golly_ and then I became – "

_Chip_ had never been so bored in his life; even his time in the bottle for half a millenium wasn't _this_ bad. Then he saw Zack and his mates were walking away. "Hey! Where are you going?" he cried.

"Oh, well, we're just going to get you some brand new oil," said Zack before they all vanished.

_Chip_ was an old ship, but he still wasn't an easily-fooled ship. "Oil, my butt," he moaned.

"Oil your butt?" said Wendal, grabbing an oil can and walking behind _Chip_. "No problem. I'm really good at oiling. Especially rear ends."

"I just had to open my big mouth, so I did," moaned the old Irish ship.


	14. The TazManian Chapter

"We've got to find a place to hide somewhere until the Neo Army moves on," said Zack as he and his friends walked the jungle of Taz-Mania.

"Somewhere quiet," added Clive.

"Somewhere where they can't find us," Dia said.

"Somewhere there's no Neo Soldiers!" yelled Daffy.

Everyone looked at him.

"That's what they've been saying, Daffy!" snapped Melissa.

"No more places to run from," pointed out Lola.

"And no more spoofing Disney high-flying movies!" snapped Buster.

"The sooner we find it, the better," Zack sighed.

"Activating montage mode now," said Clive, pressing a button on a device.

* * *

><p>The montage started with the gang just walking on the road. Then they all fell down. They were in the big hole. Then above the hole came Bull Gator and Axl who had a look.<p>

"What did you do this time, Axl?" yelled Bull, hitting his partner with his digging spade.

"I just did what you told me," Axl said. "I dug a really big hole as you said to trap the Tasmanian Devil and – "

"Put a rock in it!" snapped Bull.

Axl grabbed a rock and threw it in. It shook the ground. Bull put a rock over Axl's head and let go. Axl's hat was lifted up as a big bump grew from his head.

Then Bull turned back to the hole. "Listen, I am really sorry about all this – "

They saw the hole was empty.

"It's empty!" pointed out Axl.

* * *

><p>The next clip showed Zack, Dia and the team had entered Francis X. Bushlad's village. Zack was talking to him about accommodation.<p>

"Of course," smiled Francis. "We'd be very honoured to offer you our motels." He let them to the huts where they were to stay at.

"They are the best huts we can offer," said Francis. "Beautiful, isn't it?"

"Then, Mr. Bushlad, how do you explain these rips?" asked Dia, as she saw the rips of the tents.

"Oh, those." Francis tried to think of something. "They must be from the tigers we had here."

"You mean you were attacked by tigers?" yelled Daffy.

"Sufferin' succotash!" yelled Sylvester as he ran.

"Now, there's a bunch of worst putty tats than you," Tweety said to the black and white cat.

Everyone joined them.

"I meant they were guests!" Francis yelled. "They were large tigers and the tents were too small for them. They probably ripped the tents by stretching." But they were gone.

* * *

><p>Soon the gang met Daniel and Timothy Platypus.<p>

"Well, we'd be happy to build you guys a place to stay," said Daniel. "Wouldn't we?"

"Oh, yes, we sure would," agreed Timothy.

Then, with all their tools and everything, they started building 'a place to stay'. Zack, Dia and their friends watched as they build. Like in cartoons, it took the platypuses about thirty seconds to build and finish. But, also like in cartoons, the building that they made wasn't secure and not properly built. The wooden sticks holding the building looked like it was going to collapse! So did the giant rocks that were on the top of the very loose building.

The platypuses went in.

"You see?" cried Timothy.

"Safe as – " Then, guess what, the building fell down.

" – as rocks falling on top of your head," muttered Daffy.

"That's not very s-s-s – free from danger," said Porky.

"Exactly!" said Daffy.

"Thanks, guys," Zack said to the platypuses. Then the gang moved on.

* * *

><p>Sunset began and they walked and walked and found no place to stay. Then the keewee ran past them.<p>

"Hey, excuse me!" yelled Dia. "Could you – "

But he was gone.

"It's sunset and we haven't found anywhere yet," said Zack.

"Clive's getting tired," moaned Clive.

"So's everyone," moaned Lola.

The Tiny Toons were so exhausted they were crawling on their feet. Everyone, that is, except Buster Bunny.

"Well, I feel like I could keep on going," smiled Buster, hopping happily ahead of the gang.

"Probably because of that orb he's carrying," panted Babs.

Then they heard someone talking. Then they saw it was Buddy Boar on the phone.

"Well, then, do that and we'll see how it goes," Buddy said. "Oh, I've got to go now." And he turned his phone off.

"Excuse me, Buddy," Zack said to the boar. "Sorry to disturb you, but do you know a place where we can stay?"

"Well, yes, there's the Hotel Tazmania," Buddy told him. Then his phone rang. "Hello. Well, what went wrong?" And, with that, he was gone.

"Hotel Tazmania?" pondered Dia.

"How could you be the greatest Looney Tunes fan and not know about this series?" asked Daffy.

"Oh, I don't know," said Zack. "Maybe I was too busy watching Daffy Duck cartoons."

Daffy was taken aback by this. "Oh…"

"Hey, guys, I see it!" cried Tweety. Sylvester turned around and everyone else saw they found the hotel on the hill a distance away.

"Well, it's about another five miles away," said Zack. "Sooner we get there, the better. Come on!" Everyone groaned and started walking.

The calm and cool Buster cheekily pasted the panting Tiny Toons.

"You won't be laughing when you're finished with that orb!" Babs yelled after him.

* * *

><p>Finally, they arrived at the Hotel Tazmania.<p>

"Deactivating montage mode now," said Clive, pressing the button on the device.

Zack pressed the bell at reception.

Bushwhacker Bob arrived. "Yeah? What do you want?"

"Any rooms for about – " Dia turned around and started to count the toons.

"Sixteen," Zack finished for her.

Everyone was amazed with Zack's quick counting.

"Wow! That was amazing," said Dia.

"Well, I'm not letting you in my secret," Zack told her.

"Well, guess what?" snapped Bob. "We ain't got nothing for you!"

"'Nothing that we can't do for you', is what sonny meant to stay," said Bob's mum walking to the desk. Then she turned around her son severely. "Isn't that right, sonny?"

"Yes, mother," sighed Bob. Then he pressed the bell. "Bellboy!"

No one came.

Zack, Dia and their friends peered around the corner and saw the Tasmanian Devil with Didgeri Dingo.

"So you think I have nothing else to show you, Taz?" said Didgeri.

Taz nodded.

"Well, then, I bet you don't want to see this?" Didgeri got out a very large diamond.

Taz gasped with excitement and mumbled loudly. He reached for it, but it was pulled away.

"It'll cost you... all your ancient coins!" Didgeri said, holding his hand out.

Taz hesitated. Then he pulled out his bag and he and Didgeri swapped possessions. Taz was very pleased with the shiny diamond.

"You know, Taz," Zack cried from the corner, "that's not a real diamond. Didgeri's just bought that from the nearest mall and tricked you into handling over your real ancient coins."

"WHAT?" Taz turned around and saw Didgeri walking out. He began to spin out.

"TAZ!" Bob shouted from reception. "Quit playing around and show these people to their rooms!"

Taz sighed and let Zack, Dia and their friends to their rooms.

* * *

><p>After the rooms were sorted out, Clive went to the bar, which had no one around. Then she got out her remote and pressed the green button. The lights went off and the blinds went down. The room was as dark as the inside of a beehive without the bees.<p>

"Clive knows Zack and Dia are behind her," Clive said. "Clive knew Zack and Dia would be."

Lights around the live action characters shone from neck straps around their necks.

"We just want to check that what you said about Eric and Bugs being alive is true, that's all," said Zack.

"Gather around the pool table, then" Clive said. As they did so, Clive pressed the yellow button of the remote. Around the table, a digital blue map of Earth. Then a digital version of Bugs appeared on the island. Then he was transported to England. Then, like they were being fast-forwarded, Bugs arrived at England to meet the digital Eric and his puppet friends. Then it took them to Japan, to an island above England…

"As soon as Bugs joined Eric and his friends," Clive explained, "they've been after the Five Orbs to help Eric get rid of his own magic. Only Eric doesn't know he'll need the Acme Orb."

"Then why did he sent you?" asked Zack.

"Because Eric thinks it's just a back-up Orb, but must not be in the Epics' hands," replied Clive. "Now here's where everything got separated," she went on, demonstrating with the map. "They arrive on Clive's planet, to look for the Orb, then the planet is about to die…"

"Jack's trying to frame Eric," said Zack. "He's trying to make everyone in the universe hate him."

"Now he's replaced Matt Damon as Jason Bourne," said Dia.

"But," Clive went on, "Eric and his friends saved every living creature including Clive and her cellmate Marvin the Martian and then we were in space when a missile came from Earth and hit out ship. But Eric used his spells to send us away. And we landed…"

The map showed that they landed on Taz-Mania.

"While Eric and his friends went off to find the last two Orbs, Eric gave Clive the job of finding the Acme Orb and I found it with Buster."

The map went off and Clive pressed the green button. The room wasn't dark any more. Nor was it very empty either.

"Entertaining?" asked Clive to the toons.

"Yeah!" yelled the toons.

"But where's Bugs now?" asked Lola.

"Yeah, you haven't showed us that bit yet," Buster told Clive.

All the toons started asking questions.

"Clive don't know!" yelled Clive. "If Eric can make himself immune to Neo tracking, Clive's not going to be much use, is it?"

"Clive, did Eric say when we'll meet him again?" asked Dia.

"Eric said he will meet us when he is needed the most and the least expected," Clive replied.

"She's right," said Zack. "We must help Eric by getting Buster to – Did Eric say where to take the Orb?"

"Just a little unknown island that's about…" Clive got out her tracking device and checked it. "…429.7 miles southeast from here."

Zack yawned. "But not tonight. First round's on me."

"Oh, yeah?" The toons were wearing boxing gloves and started to make Zack out of the door by walking to him and getting their moves on.

"Guys, that's not the round I meant," said Zack. "This isn't funny!"

Only Dia and Clive were left. Dia, with her jet-pack still on, began to fly her way out. Clive got in front of her.

"Dia, here's the real truth that Eric asked Clive to tell Dia," she said. "If Zack knows about it…"

"Just tell me," Dia said. Clive went to Dia's ear and whispered in it. Clive walked out, leaving a stunned and puzzled Dia hovering above the room. Then the power of the jet-pack went out and she fell to the ground.

Then Mr. Thickly came in. "Do you need a hand, luv?" he asked.

"No, thanks," smiled Dia. Then a feather duster took over her.

"Do you feel better now?" asked Constance Koala. "Do you feel clean like the room now?"  
>The room was now a pool of dust.<p>

"Y-y-yep!" sneezed Dia, as she stood in the dust.

"Dia the mermaid says, 'Y-y-yep!'," Mr. Thickly said to Constance. He even imitated the sneezes.

* * *

><p>Soon, outside the hotel, Taz, Constance and Mr. Thickly was in charge of a barbeque. Everyone was there and was very excited to eat the delicious food. Everyone's plate was piled up like a mole hill and was eating happily. Everyone except Dia. She had her plate with food on it, but she just sat down on a deckchair near the pool and didn't eat her food.<p>

"Are you okay, hon?" asked a female voice.

Dia turned around to see Taz's mother, Jean Tazmanian Devil, who was wearing sunglasses and a brown dress, on the right-hand deckchair next to her.

"Did Taz burn your food?" asked Taz's sister, Molly Tazmanian Devil, who sat in the deckchair in a pink bikini next to her mother. "He can't cook and he – "

"No, nothing's wrong with the food," Dia told them. "It's just – "

"Let me guess," said Molly. "Is it two guys you can't choose from between?"

Dia looked away. "It's between that man here and a wizard whose friends to us both. Zack here's cool and adventurous which I like, but something tells me that I'm for Eric."

"Well, you've only met Zack yesterday," pointed on Taz's Father, Hugh, who sat on the deckchair on Dia's left-hand side. "Wait to you meet Eric, see what he's like and then make you decision."

"How do you know about my life?" asked Dia.

"It's all in the script, remember?" cried Jake, Taz's little brother, who was on the family's pet turtle, Dog, and he gave Dia a script. She read the scene they were doing now.

"We read it in the script reading before we appeared in this story, remember?" Jake went on.

"Oh, yes, that makes sense," said Dia. "But the other thing is I can't leave Nell behind. She needs me."

"Oh, your dolphin sister," said Hugh. "I think she's fine."

They looked ahead to see Nell sitting by the pool eating a plate of greens.

Behind her, the Tiny Toons were talking and laughing in a circle. Then Buster turned around to see the lonely dolphin. He got up and walked to her.

"Uh, listen, Nell," said Buster. "For helping me avoid getting caught like you did, I just wanted to say – "

Babs and the rest of the Tiny Toons were behind him. They approached Nell. And then –

PHOOSH! They were all wet.

" – thanks," Buster finished at last.

"Oh, so sorry about that," chuckled Nell, turning around to face them. "But I can't leave you fell for the oldest trick in the dolphin trick book."

Hamton got out a book entitled _Dolphin Tricks_. They read the first page.

"The oldest dolphin trick is when you approach a dolphin and they will shoot water out from their blowhole when you least expect it," Hamton read.

"Turn to the newest trick in the book," Babs said.

But as Hamton turned to the last page, they soon found out without reading. They were in the pool now.

"Sorry, I couldn't resist," laughed Nell. "But I _am_ a dolphin and dolphins are quite playful."

No one found it funny, except Babs who did her loud laugh. "For a tiny dolphin, you sure have a large sense of humour, Nell," she said.

"Why do you hide yourself?" asked Fifi

"Well, that's a long story, if you really want to hear it," said Nell.

It appeared that the Tiny Toons had made a new friend and wanted to know more about her, so they got in pool rings with drinks and sunglasses.

"Tell us where you come from, Nell," Buster said.

"Well, the earliest day I could remember seven years ago," Nell began, "was it was all dark and then one day I found light and I was swimming around but all the other creatures ran away from me. Then I saw Dia buying sea groceries. So I hid in her basket and then she found me. Then she quickly tidied me up before her stepfamily came to find me in the kitchen. Then they quickly became my stepfamily too. Dia let me into her room and, from that day, we share everything including our siren missions and her favourite shows and that means you, the Looney Tunes, _Animaniacs_, _Loonatics Unleashed_, _Taz-Mania_ here and so on. And that's what my life has been like ever since. "

"You see," Hugh said to Dia. "She'll be in good hands."

But Dia was still unsure where to go once the Acme Orb was delivered to the island.

* * *

><p>Sunrise came early the next day. Dia was still unhappy.<p>

"Something the matter, Dia?" asked Zack, as he sat next to her at the big breakfast table. All the toons were also there eating greedily and noisy like they always do.

"Nothing," said Dia. "It's just that… I'm not used to being served breakfast. I mean, there's nothing wrong with this food; it's delicious. But it's just that those dolphins have been working me too hard without a break."

"Well, those days are over!" said Zack. "I mean, they could be. If you want that."

Then Mr. Thickly arrived. "You guys want anything else?"

"More sugar in my tea, please, Mr. Thickly," said Zack.

"Constance, Zack says, 'More sugar in my tea, please, Mr. Thickly," Mr. Thickly told the Koloa.

Constance got out the sugar bowl and a spoon to spread the sugar, but she fell over and poured all the sugar in Zack's cup.

"Is that enough sugar, sir?" asked Constance.

"Yep," said Zack. Then he drank his tea with the mountain of sugar in it, but it wasn't sugar. "This is actually salt," he whispered to Dia. They laughed at this.

Then Zack turned to Clive, who was on her laptop. "Any news of the Neo Army, Clive?"  
>"Clive's laptop can find no trace of the Neos whatsoever," Clive reported.<p>

"I'm telling you, you can't stay here!" Bob's voice yelled. "I have no more vacancies!"

Zack, Dia and Clive got up and crept around the corner. It was Jim and John with the Neo Army!

"No, no, we don't want to stay here," said Jim.

"No way!" agreed John. "It's small and smelly and – "

Jim hit him to shut him up. "Mr. Bob, we are friends of your guests and we just want to pay them a little visit."

"Oh, fine! Then beat it, will ya?" Bob left reception.

Zack look at Clive. "Clive, I thought you said – "

"Clive couldn't trace or predict a teleport jump in five seconds," Clive protested. "Clive means, who could? Zack thinks someone like Bob could?"

Then Daffy, wearing a knight's shiny armour and helmet, appeared. "Don't worry. I've got a plan. Follow my lead!"

He ran for them with a sword and shield. Jim and John and the Neo Army turned around, looking unsurprised. One Neo fired at his gun at Daffy's shield, while another fired at his sword. Nothing happened.

"Ha ha!" yelled Daffy. "Is that all you got?" Then both his sword and his shield were falling down like dust. "Backfire," he said to the audience. "Run!" And he did. Zack, Dia and Clive joined him.

"Run!" cried Daffy. "They're here! Run!"

The toons didn't believe him.

Then Zack ran in. "He's right," he said to them.

Then the toons screamed, got up and ran like maniacs. The Epic twins and the Neo Army were chasing them through the hotel.

Zack, Dia and the toons passed Constance, who was on a ladder painting the ceiling. Luck was on their side when Constance fell off the ladder and landed on Jim and John. About half a dozen tins of white paint fell over the Neos.

Soon they caught up with them. Then Mr. Thickly appeared who was sweeping the hallway. The Neos fell over him.

Zack, Dia and the toons finally reached the entrance. "Look! The entrance is just there!" cried Zack. "Come on, guys! The sooner we – "

"Stop, the better!" smiled Jim nastily, pointing at a gun at the gang. They tried to turn around, but John was there with also a gun. But they were looking at his back!  
>"John, you're facing the wrong way," Jim told him.<p>

"Oh, okay," said John. He was now facing the gang, but his face was on the ground. "This better, Jim?"  
>Jim sighed. Then he turned to the gang. "It's been fun, O'Marrows, but I've have just had enough of this. So come on and – "<p>

Then Taz came around spinning around. He picked up Jim and then John. The devil stopped, but the twins were spinning like twisters.

"Thanks, Taz," said Dia.

"Spinning exercise," Taz explained.

The twins stopped and collapsed to the floor.

Jim growled. "SOMEONE PLEASE JUST GET THEM!" he yelled. The Neo Army, now clean from the paint, came rushing in.

"Taz, can you do five more miles of spinning exercise?" Zack asked.

Taz was panting. "Taz try."

"Good," said Zack. Then he turned to the rest of the gang. "Now, let's spin out of here!"

All the toons span like twisters out of the hotel.

"Hey, no spinning in the hotel!" Bob yelled. "How many Tasmanian devils do I have in this hotel?"

Zack walked normally and Dia hovered calmly past him. "Only one and that's you," they told him together.

* * *

><p>Back on the beach, Wendal was still cleaning <em>Chip<em>.

"…and then I got sick as a parrot," went on Wendal. "I mean, I_ was_ the parrot on that ship, metaphorically speaking, of course…"

_Chip_ sighed. "Twelve hours of non-stop talk," he muttered to himself. "I wish we'd be sailing off again, no matter how tired we all feel or how dangerous the waters are."

He saw Zack, Dia and the toons running towards him.

"Thanks, Wendal," said Zack, giving him some Taz-maian dollars. "He looks like new now. Now go!"

Wendal counted his money as he left the beach.

The gang used all their strength to push _Chip_ back onto the sea. When _Chip _was deep enough to sail away, the gang ran to the port side. Shirley used her powers to lower the ramp down into the water.

"Well done, Shirley," Dia said.

"Right! Everyone onboard!" Zack ordered. And everyone got on.

But the Neo soldiers were still coming. Wearing wetsuits, they ran in the water and they charged for _Chip_.

On _Chip_, everyone was working fast. The sails were released and Melissa had control of the helm, but there was no wind to push _Chip_ along.

Buster saw the Neo soldiers coming closer and closer. "You guys aren't going to get me _that_ easily!" he shouted to them, putting his fists up.

"Yeah, that's because he's got me!" Plucky shouted, drawing out a pirate's sword.

"Trying to be the hero again, Pluck?" Buster scoffed. "What else is new?"  
>"Well, not you for a change!" snapped Plucky. "You can't be this time anyway. They're after you."<p>

"Yeah, time for you to be protected for a change," said Babs, walking next to them with little pistols in her hands.

"And what will you do when you get captured?" asked Buster nastily.

"I _am_ an intelligent, independent… what is another 'in' word that make will me sound good?"

While the three were arguing, they didn't notice the Neos were coming near them. But Hamton did. He had a spare plank and he charged it at the Neos. They were knocked off! When he turned around, a pair of Neo hands caught their end of the plank and Hamton was thrown off!

"Hamton!" yelled Buster, Babs and Plucky together.

Everyone turned around to see Hamton in the hands of the Neo Army… literally. But he wasn't the only one.

"Nell!" shouted Dia. She ran after her dolphin sister, but Zack and Lola held her.

On the sand, the Epic twins arrive. The Neo soldiers brought Hamton and Nell to them.

"These are the wrong guys, you morons!" shouted John. "We want Buster Bunny! Does this pig or this dolphin look like a bunny to you?"

"Hold on, loud and babbling!" interrupted Jim. He aimed his gun at the big sail and fired. But it didn't put a hole in the sails. It made them sail away!  
>"Why did you send them away with a wind bullet?" John asked Jim.<p>

"Because, genius, this could be the only way to get Buster," Jim said. Then he turned to Hamton and Nell. "And you two are going to help. You're going to make your friend want to give up the orb and surrender to us."

Hamton and Nell gave each other worried looks.


	15. To Be C  C  C  You Know What!

_Chip_ was still blowing with the wind.

"How do we stop you from blowing all over the place?" yelled Daffy.

"I'm _Chip_ the ship!" yelled _Chip._ "I'm a ship; I'm not supposed to know what to do! Those are your jobs!"

"Working out how to stop you is very hard!" yelled Lola.

"Not as difficult as trying to work out why Jim fired that thing to send us away!" Zack shouted at the top of his thing.

"Wind bullet!" cried Clive.

"WHAT?" Everyone screamed.

"Clive has worked out what has sent us away!" Clive told them. "Jim fired at the wind into _Chip_'s sail and that's what's blowing _Chip_ away."

"Well, don't just stand there, Clive!" screamed Babs. "Do something to stop it!"

"Clive has," Clive smiled.

Babs's previous words were echoing through the sky, as _Chip_ had finally stopped.

"Why do I always get the embarrassing moments in this story?" Babs asked.

"Quiet, Babs!" Clive ordered, as she looked on her laptop. "Clive's getting through."

"Through what?" Zack asked. He and everyone gathered around.

"Yes, Clive's nearly there!" said Clive.

Everyone saw on her laptop that she was on an online maze game. She made it to the end. "Yes, Clive's through!" she exclaimed.

"Oh, well done, Clive," said Zack sarcastically. "But what has _that_ got to do with – "

"FZI – that stands 'For Zack's Information' – this is the only way to crack into the Epic Twins' private computer. We find them and we find Hamton and Nell. Which Clive has already done."

Everyone tried to see, but even the large screen on Clive's laptop was too small for everyone to see.

"Back away, everyone!" Clive ordered. "Get Clive a movie camera and SCART leads and she will show it on that giant sail."

In a quick second, Sylvester gave Clive a movie camera and Tweety gave her the leads. Then Clive connected the camera to her laptop. She turned the camera on and what was playing on her laptop was playing on the giant sail.

"When this voyage is over, I'll probably be a movie-theatre-while-sailing-in-the-sea ship," moaned _Chip_ to himself.

On the sail, they saw Jim and John in a dark creepy room.

"Zack," Clive whispered, holding a microphone.

Zack took the microphone. "Jim! John!"

On the sail, the Epic twins turned around.

"Hey, O'Marrows!" said Jim. "How are you doing? I see you managed to stop _Chip_ from my wind bullet. Well done."  
>"Oh, skip the pleasantries, Jim," said Zack. "I want to know what you've done with Hamton and Nell!"<p>

Jim and John moved out of the way and saw Hamton, wearing his green swim shorts and a diver's mask, was in a cage with water and a paper-cut animated crocodile! A snapping one, too!

"Can anyone chuck a piece of food so he doesn't just have to eat me?" asked Hamton through his snorkel.

The crew was shocked to see this was happening.

"Let them go!" shouted Zack.

"Only if you promise to give Buster to us!" Jim smiled evilly.

Hamton was doing all he can to avoid the snapping crocodile. He was trying to climb the rusty cage, but it was too slippery. There was nothing else he could do. He had no weapons to defend himself or anything except all the energy he had to run from his opponent.

Dia grabbed the microphone. "Where is Nell?" she snapped.

"Right here," smiled Jim.

Dia saw that Nell was on a roasting spit over a fire.

"Is this the best you can?" she scoffed.

"Nell, don't be cocky!" cried Dia. "You'll only make things worse."

"Listen to your sister next time," Jim said to Nell, "or there may not be a next time."

"There won't be one with you," said Nell.

"Very well," said Jim. He got out a can of gasoline and threw it on the fire. It grew and grew.

_Chip_'s crew began to fear the worst for Hamton and Nell.

"Look, just take me to there!" snapped Buster. "I don't want anyone dying on my behalf."

"Yeah, we'll just tell them some sort of lie," Dia said, "and then we'll trick them into giving Hamton and Nell over to us without giving Buster to them and – "

"They're not ones for taking lies easily," Zack told him. "Besides, I've seen your cartoons. Hamton will make it through in the end, I'm sure of that."  
>Dia still didn't look agreeable. "But, Nell, she's – "<p>

"Off the spit!" pointed out Melissa.

Everyone saw there was no roasting spit over the fire.

John was sitting on a deck chair, eating a packet of potato chips. He put a handful in his mouth. Then he went for more potato chips, only to find out the bag wasn't there.

Meanwhile, Hamton had run out of tricks. He had climbed up the very top of the cage, but he slipped and fell into the water. The crocodile came for him. Hamton dived down. He swam as fast as he could, but his large reptile opponent was still behind him.

"Hey, you don't wanna eat him," said Nell's voice. Both the boys turned to see Nell above them.

They all came to the surface and caught up with their breath.

"I don't?" asked the crocodile.

"No! He's not the tastiest bacon in the world," Nell went on. "So instead, have these!" She got out a bag of potato chips.

"Hey, those are mine!" yelled John.

"Hmm, these are good," smiled the crocodile. He had the last one. "I'm full now!"

"Like, she's totally good, Dia," Shirley told Dia.

"See?" smiled Zack. "They always come through in the end."

"Hmm, I don't know," said Dia. "Jim and John don't look defeated yet."

The cage opened and two Neo soldiers took Hamton and Nell out of the water.

"Well done, Hamton and Nell," said Jim.

"For what?" asked John.

"For surviving our little test," replied Jim, as he stroked Nell's head. Nell tried to bite him, but he quickly moved his hand. "Nice try, Nell. And for your bravery, I'm gonna…"

Hamton, Nell and everyone on _Chip_ looked hopeful.

"…give you a little present," finished Jim.

"Oh, that's nice," said Hamton.

"It won't be nice, Hamton," said Nell.

Jim and John walked through a metal door. The soldiers, holding Hamton and Nell, followed. Then the screen went fuzzy.

"Clive, what happened?" asked Zack.

"It's not Clive," replied Clive. "The Epics have turned it off, so we wouldn't find out about Hamton and Nell. But Clive has an idea. If Clive can upload the next channel…"

On the sail, the screening went back to normal. Only the screening showed a dark rocky cave with about twenty-four glass chambers filled with water. They saw a shark, an octopus, an eel, a whale squashed in his own chamber, a swordfish, a big jellyfish, a crab and other paper-cut animated aquatic creatures from all over the world.

"Clive, what is the point of this?" snapped Daffy. "We're supposed to find Hamton and Nell, not visit an aquarium!"

"Hey, look!" cried Babs. "It's Hamton and Nell."  
>They looked and saw Hamton, who was now wearing a diver's helmet, and Nell in a glass chamber each.<p>

"Look, they're gonna go helmet diving," cried Plucky. "That's their reward."  
>"I don't think so, Plucky," said Buster.<p>

Down Hamton and Nell went with all the other teenage aquatic creatures. The screen showed them going down to a deep-sea area. It had a few dim lights on the rockks, but the area was still rocky, dark and dangerous for anyone to be in, if you weren't a deep-sea creature.

On _Chip_, everyone was confused.

"What's with all those knives and forks, salt, pepper and ketchup?" asked Lola.

Then Dia gasped.

"Ten… Nine… Eight…"

Dia knew what Hamton and Nell was going to go through. She got out a paperback version of _The Hunger Games_ Trilogy by Suzanne Collins and showed everyone it.

"Five… Four… Three… Two… One…"

The games began! All the aquatic creatures grabbed their knives and forks and gears and charged for each other.

"This is h-h-h-h - awful!" cried Porky.

"What's the point of this?" Sylvester pondered.

"Probably just something another thing for this story to parody, I guess," said Zack.

"But where is Hamton and Nell?" asked Dia, panicking like the toons do.

"Clive has patched in one of the tv cameras filming this," Clive said. "It should come up… Now!"

And the sail showed Hamton and Nell… alive! Everyone was reviled.

"This is simple, Hamton," said Nell. "We find a way out and then we find _Chip_ and then we can get Buster to this island."

"But how _do_ we get out?" asked Hamton.

"Beats me," said Nell.

"Not as much as I will beat you!" yelled a male voice.

Nell and Hamton turned around and saw the big Pacific sea nettle jellyfish next to them. He had a woolly hat on his top and he wore sunglasses, too. He resembled a big bully. He chased them.

"Clive, do you have anything that can get us in there?" asked Dia. "Anything!"

"Clive has been analyzing the situation," said Clive. "There's nothing we can do. Clive can't even get communications to Hamton's helmet."

"Are you saying that they're on their own?" asked Zack.

"Clive's afraid so," said Clive.

All they could do was just sit and watch Hamton and Nell get cornered to a dead end. And the jellyfish was coming. There was no way to run.

The jellyfish came closer and closer and –

* * *

><p>RING!<p>

"All right! Closing up time!" cried Witch Hazel in an animated library. Mac and Tosh were still sitting on top of the really big book.

"Already?" exclaimed Tosh.

"Well, it _is_ a big book," pointed out Mac.

"Yeah, I know that," said Tosh, "but I was hooked from the beginning and I want to find out what happens next now."

"Me too," said Mac, "but this is a big book and we'll get to read it tomorrow."

"Yeah, you do have a point," agreed Tosh. "Besides, I'm getting excited and looking forward to find out what happens next."

"Me, too," said Mac. "But how shall we remember where we are?"

"How about putting this bookmark on this page?" suggested Tosh.

"Why didn't I think of that?" said Mac.

Tosh pulled the bookmark on the page and Mac closed the book.

"Now let's go home," said Mac.

"After you," said Tosh.

"No, after you, I insist," insisted Mac.

"Thank you," smiled Tosh, as they jumped off the book and walked out the library. The door closed on its own and the lit candles were blown out by themselves. The room was dark and empty.

To Be Continued…

* * *

><p><span>CAST LIST<span>

**Hero Cast**

Live Action Characters

BAFTA TV Award nominee** Matt Smith** (_Doctor Who_, _Party Animals_) as **Eric Epic** the young Sorcerer, the main protagonist.

BAFTA Orange Rising Star Winner** Noel Clarke** (_Doctor Who_, _Kidulthood, Adulthood_) as **Zack O'Marrow**, the main deuteragonist.

Twice Teen Choice Award winner** Emma Watson** (_Harry Potter_) as **Diamond** (or **Dia** for short) the Mermaid, the main tritagonist.

Cartoon Characters

_Looney Tunes Characters_

Bugs Bunny

Daffy Duck

Lola Bunny (_Space Jam_ Version)

Porky Pig

Melissa Duck

Sylvester the Cat

Tweety Pie

Granny

Tasmanian Devil

Elmer Fudd

Yosemite Sam

Foghorn Leghorn

Pepe-Le-Pew

Beaky Buzzard

Hector the Bulldog

Marvin the Martian

Witch Hazel

Mac and Tosh

_Tiny Toon Characters_

Buster Bunny

Babs Bunny

Plucky Duck

Hamton Pig

Shirley the Loon

Fifi La Fume

_Animaniacs_

Yakko Warner

Wakko Warner

Dot Warner

Dr. Otto Scratchansniff

Hello Nurse

Slappy Squirrel

Skippy Squirrel

The Goodfeathers:

Bobby

Squit

Pesto

Rita the Cat

Runt the Dog

Mindy

Buttons

Minerva Mink

_Taz-Mania_

Hugh Devil

Jean Devil

Molly Devil

Jake Devil

Dog the Turtle

Didgeri Dingo

Wendal T. Wolf

Francis X. Bushlad

Mr. Thickly

Constance Koala

Bull Gator and Axl

Daniel and Timothy Platypus

Buddy Boar

The Bushrats

Bob's Mum

_Loonatics Unleashed Characters_

Ace Bunny

Lexi Bunny

Danger Duck

Slam Tasmanian

Tech E. Coyote

Rev Runner

_Other Warner Bros. animated characters_

Freakazoid/Dex Douglas

_MGM/Hanana Barbara Productions_

Tom and Jerry

Droopy Dog

Yogi Bear

Boo-Boo Bear

Fred Flintstone

Barney Rubble

Top Cat and his gang

_Mystery Inc._

Scooby Doo

Shaggy Rogers

Fred Jones

Daphne Blake

Velma Dinkley

_DC Animated Series_

The Teen Titians

Neomarvek

**Zoe Saldana** (_Avatar, Star Trek [2009])_ is the motion capture of **Clive Boun**

President Dobt

The entire population of Hopcon

Puppets

Chocolate or "Choc" the Brownie

Daniel or "Danny" the Dwarf

Sweet Corn the Unicorn

Trolley the Troll

Shou Off the Chinese Demon Dragon

Anime Villagers

Chikako

Chikako's dad, the village leader

Villagers

Demon Commander

Demon Army

Stop Motion Characters

_Rock Cakes_

Michelle the Fairy (Lead vocals)

Jeff the Elf (Lead guitar)

Ugster the Orc (Keyboards)

Dark Robes (Drums)

Other Cartoon Characters

Nell the Dolphin (Dia's stepsister)

Model Ships

_Chip_ the Irish Carrack Ship

Non-Warner Bros. Characters

Kermit the Frog (from The Muppets)

Waldorf and Statler (from The Muppets)

**Villain Cast**

Live Action Characters

Golden Globe Award winner** Ian McShane** (_Kung Fu Panda_, _Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger's Tide, Deadwood)_ as **Lord Jack Epic**, Jack's adoptive father, the main antagonist.

Five-time Empire Award winner** Ewan McGregor** (_Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Shallow Grave, Trainspotting_) as **Jim Epic**, John's twin brother and Eric's foster brother, a secondary antagonist.

Four-time National Television Award Winner** David Tennant **(_Doctor Who, Blackpool_ and _Casanova_) as **John Epic**, Jim's twin brother and Eric's foster brother, a secondary antagonist.

_Looney Tunes_

Rocky

Mugsy

_Tiny Toons Adventures_

Elmyra Duff

_Animaniacs_

Pinky

The Brain

Thaddus Plotz

Ralph T. Guard

_Taz-Mania_

Bushwhacker Bob

Neomarvek

Field Marshall Jengheng

The Major

The entire Neomarvek Army

Other CGI villains

Computer Viruses

Stop Motion

_Nuclear Meltdown_

The Jersey Devil (Singer)

Thunderbird (Lead Guitar)

Joint Snake (Bass Guitar)

Jackalope (Keyboard)

Boogyman (Drums)

Rock Lord Cliff Griff

Anime Villagers 

The Demon King

The Demon Commander (At first)

The Demon Army (At first)

Paper Cut Animation

_Dolphin Family_

Stepfather

Stepmother

Stepbrother

_Deep-Sea Hunger Games_

Hamton's Crocodile opponent

The Deep-Sea Hunger Games aquatic creatures

**Live Action supporting cast**

Supporting Cast

**Will Smith** (_Men in Black_, _Independence Day_, _The Pursuit of Happiness_) as **Captain Thompson**

**Eddie Murphy** (_Beverly Hills Cop_, _Shrek_) as **Lieutenant Pan**

**Johnny Depp** (_Edward Scissorhands_, _Pirates of the Caribbean_) as **Captain Mack Borrow** (Warner Bros. version of Disney's Captain Jack Sparrow)/**Captain Jack Sparrow XII of the Disney Cruise/Himself**

**George Clooney** (_Ocean's Eleven_, _Up in the Air_) as the **Metropolitan Police Station Superintendent**

**Jack Black** (_School of Rock_, _Kung Fu Panda_) as **Huey Finn/Loewy Finn** (brothers of Dewey Finn from _School of Rock_)

**Bradley Cooper** (_The Hangover_, _The A-Team_) as the **American President**

**Zac Efron** (_High School Musical_, _Hairspray_) as the American remake of Eric Epic

**Simon Pegg** (_Shaun of the Dead_, _Hot Fuzz_, _Paul_) as the American remake of Jim Epic

**Nick Frost** (_Shaun of the Dead_, _Hot Fuzz_, _Paul_) as the American remake of John Epic

Live-Action Cameos

(In Alphabetic order)

**Jackie Chan**

**Ben Miller**

**Ben Stiller**

SONGS

Aerosmith's _Dude Looks Like A Lady _sang by Nuclear Meltdown

Smash Mouth's _Hang On_ sang by the Rock Cakes

WRITING CREDITS

Written by Bobby South

Looney Tunes created by Tex Avery, Bob Clampett, Friz Freleng, Chuck Jones and many others

_Tiny Toon Adventures, Animaniacs _and _Pinky and the Brian _created and produced by Steven Spielberg, Tom Ruegger and Jean MacCrudy

_Freakazoid _created and produced by Bruce Timm, Paul Dini, Tom Ruegger and Steven Spielberg

_Taz-Mania_ created and produced by Art Vitello

_Loonatics Unleashed _created by Adam Trevor Grant and Joseph Louis Grant

_Tom and Jerry_, _Yogi Bear, The Flintstones, Scooby Doo _and_ Top Cat_ created and produced by William Hanna and Joseph Barbera

_Droopy_ created by Tex Avery

_Teen Titans_ created by the DC Comics

Kermit the Frog, Waldorf and Statler created by Jim Henson Productions


End file.
